The waters lap around you
As if a centrepoint
Pulling all to surround you
When you are but merely
Just there.

You pull in tides and waves
Caressing and slamming into your
So called silhouette
That isn't even there.

You dally in that one spot
And when it pleases you
You vanish
As if you were only air.

And maybe you were...
And the water was just attempting
To fill in a spot
Of the moon's desirous rare;
Tumultuous silence

And once you make it known
That you are no longer there
The waters crush the air
Slam the grounds
And loses its tidal direction.
But it never comes close to
Your spot.
Not by an inch or a hair.

Just in case
You come back
Or could still
Be there.

And as I feel your presence
Receding behind me,
Unable to turn around
I freeze
Unable to take a step forward
A step away from you.

And yet you continue to recede
My nonchalant facade
Fading away with you
And I close my eyes
Knowing when I turn around
You'd have disappeared
Leaving darkness in your place,
Sightlessness
Soundlessness...
Lost to a place
Where I can't reach out
And sense your warm memory.

So I don't turn around.
I don't let my emotions flow,
Slowly opening my eyes
To the sight of a grey
Barren world again.

The rhythm of you,
Every beat,
Every symphony,
Pulls me deeper
Into the thought of you
The sensation of you
The essence of you.

But this rhythm has an end,
Beats eventually stop,
Symphonies fade away,
Into nothingness
The mere entity of you
Already steeling
And enveloping me.

You do not exist.

I'm being engulfed
In the clutches of darkness
It's slow-motioned embrace
Calculated and unforgiving
Unrelenting
It's greedy hold
Swallowing me
It's fingers sliding
Over my arms
My legs
Holding delicately
Yet firmly
Sliding over my neck
Caressing my chin
And lapping at my ears
Tainting my field of vision...

Many times do I deny
The reasons why
I feel the pain that I do,
Vying to forget
And cause myself
To suffer ever longer.

But I can only try to
Run away
As I know that these feelings
Will only fray
As they are left
Unobservable by you.

How do I know?
I don't.
But you never saw these feelings
Even though you knew.

And if I were to wait for
Your gaze to fall upon
My stranded feelings
It would be too late.

So that's why I ran away,
Even if my heart is forever stranded,
It'd be easier to forget your smile,
Your voice,
And your soul
And avoid wasting away the
Little strength I have left.

And if by some chance
My eyes were closed this whole time
And if severed the ties that I valued
Over illusions unreal -
No chance to redeem -
I'd have no reason to live
No reason to breathe.

And if I were to compile
All the feelings that I felt
All the pain that was dealt
The time that was spent
The thoughts that were bent
Broken
And made unkempt
Caused my life to run askew
Falling constantly
Slowly losing any rue
Left towards all that I loved...
The clear colours would lose their pure opacity
And wander until
All clarity was lost
In a void of darkness