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Tøast May 2018
Let me sit quietly in this house,
The early hours as the sun rises, casting shadows to show duality and warmth to show us love.
A bright blue sky to clear our minds.
But soon I'll be on my way.

Jumping between pages,
A shattered memory and a broken rib,
We burnt out the place my mind used to be,
Left ash piles and Polaroid pictures with little tiny people saved in an instant.
A memory of a meloncholy mood drifting up from my mind as my heart beats faster,
This anxiety is turning my Polaroids into matchsticks, my gut into a butterfly cage.

An ant in the headlights of a car, doesn't think what make and model the car is,
Yet I see my fears, my ghosts and my life and I can't help but be dragged on stage with them,
Analyse them and pester them, taking notes like it's my job, and writing until the voices in my head might finally be quiet.

I guess if I can't quiet my head, I'll leave it instead.
Say goodbye to this cigarette wasteland, with cherries and bongs.
This pyscotic diagnostic of a funny story I once heard, blended together until the lumps come out.
Well he's never been able to deal with himself, his mind, his monsters.. so you'll have to excuse him as he dives into concrete swimming pools, and tries to jump over houses to no avail.

Well he sees his floors in other people's houses, and feels anxious and scared.
You see, we don't like what's wrong with us, so we hide it and lock it away.
But if no one can see them how can they help?
You tell your children they're beautiful,
But it's only because they're your creation.
This is a problem with the world, we never tell anyone how beautiful they are,
So we all just sit like rhinos on mountain tops,
Defensive positions, walls up, guns loaded.
Until that one Disney butterfly flutters by, distracting some as they're drawn to it as it floats down stream and saves them from themselves.
Tøast May 2018
So let me disguise myself as a human and try to drown the ghost.
Because I've been so distant lately, it's getting difficult to remember.
I just want to be normal, human and feel, feel things when people say them,
And understand pain again.
With bruised knuckles and cigarette burns, my hands held onto yours,
But did it even happen, if neither of us felt like we were there.
Tøast May 2018
Well you destroyed me,
Ripped the happiness away, shredding my skin into scars as I fall.
I trusted too much and now it's all my fault,
How could I ever hate the one that saved me, even if it was momentary.

You took a poets words away,
And stole my confidence.
So now I'll float through the night sitting on some drug fuelled motorboat,
Trying desperately to escape the iceburgs.

But the water is cold and inviting,
So let me be self destructive as the captain tries his best to fight me.
You've left me in the dust and I couldn't hate myself more.
Tøast May 2018
At night I lay and I watch the cars cast shadows on my walls,
In the bed we used to share, when you illuminated my life.
Well now the shadows are back and I'm afraid of the dark,
But you left me here alone with my mind,
To play tricks with myself and dance in the dark
Do you remember the nights, where we gazed at the stars?
Because now the clouds have rolled in and my vision is blurred, blocking my view of those perfect lights suspended on strings up above our heads.
Tøast May 2018
What I would give for another cigarette.
An ash stained mouth and a lung full of smoke,
Spiralling up from the death wish I hold so delicately between my finger tips.
Well I quite a while ago, and yes I can breathe, but why would I want to when I'm as self destructive as I am.
So let me drink from a volcano and inhale the fumes, exhale in one breathe and clear my mind for a while.
Tøast May 2018
How can he miss the moon, when she was snuffed out so long ago?
When her light burnt out and she crumbled into two,
Shining brighter in a different sky, than she ever could in mine.

Well my night-time walks will never be the same,
A paranoid insomniacs depressive escape, through anxious gaps in the galaxy, where we used to dance between stars and lay down on black holes.
Well now, it would seem, the night sky is nothing but darkness, where his heart may beat but his mind just hurts.
Tøast Apr 2018
Melting away down this empty street,
No one in sight and no one to meet.
I'm not okay but it doesn't really matter,
The liquids flowed, and the alcohol stung my mind.
This nicotine rush is what's keeping me alive,
These drugs I have are altering my mind.
Because my happiness is just temporary,
And my existence is only momentary.
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