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Thoughtsonpaper Sep 2018
Will you love me when I'm skinny?
Will you love me when I'm pretty?
Will you love me when I'm funny
or have lots of money?
The answer is no.
I could change in a thousand ways and still,
my life would remain the same.

My presence would go unnoticed
so what's the point in pretending.
Who cares how others perceive me,
it's a waste of emotional energy.

Burdened by my irrelevancy,
now I see that it's a blessing.
I can finally live freely.
Without fear of judgement
or someone abandoning me.

I can't lose what I never had.
So I will go ahead and speak my mind;
wear my imperfections with pride;
laugh in inappropriate situations,
and eat ice cream without being worthless.
I am tired of caring so excessively.
Thoughtsonpaper Apr 2018
Arms tightly linger around my waist.
Holding me close, trapped in place.
Oxygen lodged in my throat
I can’t breathe.
I began to choke.

When the emptiness settles in deep,
She always reminds me no one loves me.
Heavily intoxicated by my tears,
Dancing in the gloomy atmosphere.

Hurtful words hang in my ear,
Maybe this was meant to be.
Me and lonely.
Together it seems.
Dying in love for eternity.
Hopeless.
Thoughtsonpaper Apr 2018
me
i lost you in spring
you didn’t say a word
not one goodbye
a warning, a verb

left empty handed
alone and distraught,
that someone could break
a lonely girl’s heart

i question your motives
each day that i breathe
longing for answers
i’ll never receive
Thoughtsonpaper Feb 2018
yellow makes you smile
even though you are hurting
the warmth of it comforts you
like a loving mother
holding her newborn child

i was blue for so long
yellow was a foreign concept to me
finding sparks of happiness
amongst the pain
was hard to do
now it’s second nature

yellow represents hope
it’s vibrant and pure
the feeling you get
when someone compliments you

when yellow came around
i forgot about blue
experiencing unexplainable joy
with no logical reasoning attached
i now stood in peace
as the raging storm passed through me

i wasn’t used to this mysterious feeling
so I sat and questioned it’s meaning
soon my friend anxiety decided to pop in
following blue
she looked so sad and frail
i ran and held her tight
until her pain was unknowingly transferred to mine

yellow never sits still
it comes and goes
that doesn’t mean you
can’t enjoy it’s stay
life can’t just be filled
with yellow days
now and then
you need a little grey

sometimes we’re blue
a skeptic to our own existence
some days we’re green with envy
because we’re no longer content
with the way we’re living
sometimes we’re a burning flame
with red chills rushing to our face
some days we’re yellow
and give ourselves grace
that nobody’s perfect
and go on with our day
Hold on to what gives you a glimmer of hope. Enjoy your yellow days, and remember you're not the only one that feels blue. I'm right here with you.
Thoughtsonpaper Feb 2018
If a girl is hopelessly crying in a forest and no one is around to hear her, did she actually cry?

All that you’ve heard about Rapunzel is pure lies.
She had jet black hair, that was darker than the midnight sky.
Entirely broken inside, waiting to end her life.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you what really happened tonight
Grab a delicious treat and something sweet to drink.
Before I wish you a goodnight’s sleep.

Once upon a time there was a young girl named Rapunzel
Since the age of ten she had been locked away in a monstrous tower.
Kept in chains by her demons all day.
They liked to play games with her mental state.

One of the games included, Simon Says.
Simon Says, cut a blade through your wrist.
Simon Says, bang your head against the brick wall,
Until you begin bleeding and start to fall.
She hated Simon Says,
But she always obeyed what they said.

Mother Gothel was an antagonist; a myth.
Rapunzel made her up in her mind to have someone to blame,
For all the wretched pain which she endured everyday.

Loneliness became her closest friend
As she sat alone in a cobwebbed den.
Listening to the clock ‘tick tock’ in her head
Over again like a broken record.
Making her want to rip her hair out to shreds.

The voices screaming in her head made her psychotic.
No one cared about this depressive girl,
More than they did about summer rain.
They all couldn’t see her suffering, so it didn’t matter.
Instead they threw her in a tower, an architect built.
So her mind could rot in tiny pieces, lying still.

One day a boy named Flynn came into the mix.
He loved her with all his heart; they could never be apart.
When he was around, her eyes light up.
Forgetting the misery that came after dark

Tomorrow came along.

Rapunzel was found sobbing in her fragile pale hands.
“Leave me alone!”, she screamed in terror with her eyes closed shut.
Shaking uncontrollably, while the rain and tears flowed as one.
Just like the river she wanted to drown herself in.

Flynn gently helped her to her feet in panic.
The electricity still flowing through her entire body.
“I love you.” he softly whispered into her ear.
“I love you!” he says with passion and honesty.
Her breathing slowly came to a halt, after hearing him speak.
He made her believe that life had some meaning.

Her soul now feels at peace
She looks at him with pure sincerity  
He whips her tears away, “I’ll never leave you”.
A promise he can never keep.
“I love you too”, she says with ease.
Their eyes meet together, as they laugh in unison.
Lips softly meet as one; the night has just began.
This is the happiest Rapunzel has ever been in years,
Too bad it will all suddenly disappear.



It was all an illusion.
Rapunzel suffered from Schizophrenia.
Flynn was a figment of her imagination.
An escape from her cruel reality she faced.
The townspeople didn’t want to deal with her mental illness.
So they washed her away, to be left astray.

People hate what they don’t understand,
So everyday for eight years she sat freezing in sorrow.
While her demons devoured her spirit.
Incapable of love and affection.
With a hollow chest where her heart should be.

In order to cope with the ‘life’ she was living,
Her mind made up Flynn.
Though they were madly in love; he was a fairytale.
As years went by depression ate her whole.
She died alone, in a pitch black room.
No light seeping in, with nobody to love and hold her.
To tell her everything will be okay,
And keep her heart beating in place.

If a girl dies alone in a tower, where everyone hates her, and no one is around to witness her death: did she actually exist?
The End.
I dedicate this poem to my childhood self. You deserved and deserve better. For all the sunny days people shattered with grey clouds.

I hope this poem means as much to you as it does to me. Don't stop until your reach "The End". I promise you won't regret it. I swear.
Thoughtsonpaper Feb 2018
Brother took advantage of me,
No one seems concerned, but me.
I want him to be tortured for his mistakes,
But that will never come to play.

I need to get out of this facility.
Surrounded by people who put me through misery.
One day you’ll push me too far.
Ending up with shattered bones, and colorful scars.

I can no longer live like this.
Where I hide in my room
Avoiding any degree of conflict.

Just leave me on the side of the road.
Maybe a **** will take me home.
At least he’ll care if I live or don’t
If not; I’m a worthless *****.

A dead body can’t make you any money.
Unless you’re in a will, by someone fairly rich.
That doesn’t think you’re a stupid *****.
Who loves you more than their mercedes benz
And treats you like a royal gem
Thoughtsonpaper Feb 2018
the ocean roars
gently through my ears
as i dream about
our first kiss

soft and gentle
like your skin
bolts of electricity
rushing in

can we go back
back to that moment
when love was a galaxy
worth exploring

it’s too late
the picture of us
is tarnished
crumbled up and recycled
saving the world is vital

reality violently
floods my room
i float calmly to the top
forgetting I can’t breath
but that doesn’t concern me

if something is broken
you throw it away
must be why
you killed me in vain
#poetry #heartbreak #reminisce #broken #lost #confused #hopeless

— The End —