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Tea Jul 2020
My dear friend, Ben...
Wish to talk to you again...
It's been a long while...
Do you have a smile?
I dearly hope so every single day...
So far, I can't think of another way...
To reach for what I once could hold...
Now, there is a room, empty and cold...

More questions than statements are to be found...
Doesn't matter where I look around...
I can't see you here, or anywhere...
I climbed a mountain and looked from there...
But I realized I was at the wrong place at the wrong time...
So I got on here and am writing this rhyme...

Like sending a paper plane off into the air...
Seeing it fly, swiftly, and fair...
A bottle with a letter into the sea...
Drifting to where I cannot be...
A call, towards the stars...
Cleaving in two, the sound of wars...

Like reaching to the sky...
When all else you can do is fly...
A salty droplet from my ocean...
Sinking into the earth, where it all began...
A single note in a quiet place...
Giving flavor to the empty space...

Whatever others think about these words...
I will keep composing these chords...
Until one day...
I receive your "hey"...

Do not think that I will forget you...
It's probably the last thing I'll do...
My friend is what you will always be...
Until the end of me...
Dear, Ben. I hope this could reach you and brighten up your day <3
Tea Apr 2020
45:
Reaching for the stars...
Knowing they are the opposite of wars...
So silent in the sky...
Dancing so far and high...
My hand can only trace...
As they continue their pace...
What is behind that beautiful curtain of the sky?
Can someone there see me cry?
Maybe there is nothing but stars and space...?
But it sings beautifully with grace...
When we lose our hope in our path and road...
Then, we look up and see no load...
When we are hugging ourselves in the night...
That's when we notice the moonlight...
When we have fallen and been pushed to the ground...
When we lie there, we start looking around...
Only when we are running far away...
Do we think differently about what people say...
Lost in our own time...
Hitting our own hearts and stopping to shine...
When shall we learn to choose our emotions rightly?
When shall we stop to search for certainty?
Some things will never be certain...
But looking back at this beautiful curtain...
I also know that we all need our pillars of hope and certainty...
Love, peace, maybe even creativity....?
Just stop feeling home in that sadness and grief...
If you choose happiness you will taste that great relief...
But it's all in your hands and mind...
If you want to be rude or kind...
Just don't hesitate to cry...
It's better to let it go before you die...
Tea Apr 2020
44:
Why don't we take flight?
Why don't we make things right?
Why don't you let me go my own way?
Why don't you listen to what I say?
How hard is it to listen to me?
Not only with your ears, do you see?
How much longer am I gonna have to wait?
Is it... Too late?
Why are you trapped in your thoughts...?
Why won't you accept water during droughts?
Why won't you let other people help you on your way?
Why do you always have to slay?
Why are you not seeing the full picture?
Why are you choosing your own torture?
Going in circles that go on, endlessly...
Fears that rage, ferociously...
Why have you given up on us all?
Why did you let go and choose to fall?
How much longer are you gonna scratch open the wounds of the past?
Can't you see that you are making them stay and last?
When you take your eyes away from the pain...
Then, you'll see the rainbow again...
But you'll never listen...
Because you think you're never mistaken...
Tea Apr 2020
43:
I was staring at the moon...
Hoping to see you soon...
Knowing it to be impossible...
Feeling down and horrible...

I was dreaming of you...
Not knowing what to do...
Missing what I had...
Feeling sorry and sad...

Wishing things were different than now...
But just ending up with asking how...

Going in circles with my thoughts...
My tears going from waterfalls to droughts...
Asking why life isn't a different hue...
Feeling lonely and blue...
Tea Apr 2020
42:
The journey is long...
No time to sing a song...
The blazing sun on your heads...
Wondering where the path leads...
As you continue night and day...
You've forgotten how to play...
With only a goal before your eyes...
You walk in the heat that dries...
Frozen waves of sand...
But when you touch them with your hand...
They are burning and easily movable...
Dry throat and legs unstable...
Seeing dreams come true before your eyes...
But, when you come closer, they are lies...
Not able to go forward, against the howling wind...
Sand, wanting to drown you and you fear the end...
Losing sight and sound...
The tiny rocks have you, finally bound...
Waking up after an unknown time in an unknown place...
Of your friend, there is no trace...
Still thirsty, you start walking around...
Following the musical sound...
Tea Apr 2020
41:
The night falls...
Do you hear all the different calls?
There flies the owl...
But I follow the wolf's howl...
I can already hear it louder than before...
There he stands, lonely and poor...
But still, head high as he looks me up and down...
Strong and proud he has grown...
Even though he looks fierce and scary...
I'm not scared by how he is, big and hairy...
I know he is loyal and true...
I don't always know what he'll do...
He has disappeared, many a time, nights and days...
It's almost like a game he plays...
But I end up hearing the familiar yelp...
Then, I'll always answer his call for help...
Sometimes it's a howl of loneliness or power...
Rising high above any other tower...
Tea Apr 2020
40:
Is everything lost in the deep?
Why have my feelings gone back to sleep?
How long must I wonder and not know?
When will I learn and grow?
Why am I here, empty-handed...
Still sitting there where I landed...
The shock was too sore...
I can't anymore...
I'm, again, drifting alone...
Lost and cold to the bone...
Either they don't know or don't care...
I don't really have a good reason to share...
If I want to tell them, what do I say?
What can they do to my situation anyway?
No hold in sight...
Nothing feels right...
This time, sadness isn't very strong...
But powerlessness is singing his song...
Though, grief isn't absent...
Anger is silent...
Whatever I do...
I'm always thinking of you...
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