When he's gone, I'm not well...
I wonder where is that protective shell?
I wonder where he is...
I wonder when will he ever read this?
I hope I will survive until he comes back...
I know it is my best friend that I lack...
Without him, I'll die...
Right now I want to cry...
But my tears may not flow...
I just can't let it happen right now...
It's hard to wait...
It is getting late...
But I can't stop thinking of my one friend...
I wonder when this eve will come to an end?

18:
Probably at midnight...
I will give my sister a fright...
She will scream high...
As she thinks she's gonna die...
I will laugh very mercilessly...
Then she will cry helplessly...
And when I dissappear...
I am someone to fear...
For my stubbornness goes beyond death itself...
My evilness is in great wealth...
So beware...
I'm there...

The weight of guilt has gone...
I'm sure that I'm not alone...
I've found my heart again...
The wind blew away the rain...
Joyfulness has overpowered confusion...
I'm like a winged unicorn, not a lion...
The sky is my new home...
No more darkness that I roam...
I have a best friend which I don't deserve...
He is never on my nerve...
He is sweeter as honey...
His presence makes me happy...
I'm so grateful...
He doesn't make me feel dull...
Without him, I won't survive...
Without him, I can't dive...
I can't dive in the deep dark...
Where there is no spark...
But he is there...
And I shoot colors everywhere...
The long days of sadness are over...
I have become a lover...

Sun or rain...
Never be mad again...
Anger is bad...
It makes other people sad...
Sing a happy song...
Admit that you are sometimes wrong...
We must accept imperfection...
It is time for action...
We should make a difference...
We must break down the fence...
The fence between black and white...
Because neither is right...
We should live together without fights...
We should put on our inner lights...
We should shine friendliness...
And happiness...
Helpfulness...
And gracefulness...
We should be full of understanding...
No matter what is happening...
We should help wherever we are...
We should share...
Even though we aren't always rich...
We can help people who fell in a ditch...
Just think about how it would feel...
Unhappiness always on your heel...
Nowhere to go...
You would need help, wouldn't you?
We are able to make a big difference...
All we need to do is shine kindness...
Other people need help, that is why...
Are you going to try?

As I walk through the dark night...
I glow a strange light...
As I drink of the tiny waterfall...
I hear the night owls call...
As I walk among the forest...
I find the moonlit hills the prettiest...
As I feel the wind through my hair...
I breathe the clean air...
As I watch the sunrise out behind the hills...
I see the windmills...
As I walk through the small town...
I spot a clown...
As he entertains...
I see the purses his friend gains...
As I pass the laughing crowd...
I hear the church bell ringing loud...
As I knock on a house door...
I hear a beggar crying for more...
As I walk into the house...
I spot a cat catching a mouse...
As I greet my family...
I hear people singing happily...
As I prepare food...
I am in a jolly mood...
As I listen to the song...
I sing along...
As I call everyone to come to eat...
I hear the sound of rushing feet...
As I sit down with my family to enjoy the meal...
I realize nothing is real...
As I imagine how the old days must have been...
I smile because I'm only just a teen...
As I think of the things printed in my mind...
I wonder what I have left behind...
As I remember sweetness...
I feel that same happiness...

As I look out of my cage...
I see people rage...
I see people crying...
I see people lying...
I turn my back to the rain clouds...
Then I feel the rainbow breaking my heavy bonds...
My laugh can be heard from far...
As I run away from this sad war...
I run along with the seas...
I hear the whisper of the trees.....
The wind takes me to a lake...
And then I awake...
I sigh and I look around...
Then I look towards the ground...
I smile with the thought of my best friend...
I get reminded that this is not the end...
I stand up to make my dreams come true...
I look into the deep blue...
The ocean waves sing a relaxing beat...
I breathe and I feel great.....
Then I feel a hand on my shoulder...
For a moment I shudder.....
I turn around and see the person I trust the most...
I smile because he is not lost...
We dream of adventures...
And as we are painting pictures...
The stars shine bright...
Then I wake up again with a fright...
I give a big sigh...
I ask myself "why?"
But I am satisfied...
I have no reason to hide...
I will not be sad...
Even though I miss what I had...
I know I will make more happy memories...
I will forget the dreadful cries...
Happiness will surround me with light...
Blue, orange, white...

I wonder why I feel so dumb and clumsy?
Why do I feel so pathetic and ugly?
Will I ever be happy again?
Or will it continue to rain?
Shall I stay in the dark?
Do I have another hurtful mark?
Will my heart ever stop to cry?
Or will it continue till I die?
Why can't I fall asleep at night?
Did I fall from a greater height?
Will I ever get back to where I was?
Will this dark cloud ever pass?
I guess I just need to wait for the rainbow to come out...
Because that's what it is all about...
We all need rain to live...
We all need to learn how to give...

What has happened to my dear friend?
Has his life come to an end?
I so dearly hope he is fine...
My inner light doesn't want to shine...
I wonder if I lost my heart forever?
Why does it feel like I come from the nether?
Am I just dreaming?
Or does it feel like my heart is dying?
Maybe it is dead already?
Maybe that is the reason why I feel heavy?
Is someone able to fix it back?
Is it my best friend which I lack?
Maybe Gabriel knows what must be done?
Maybe he knows why I feel so alone?
It feels like time has captured me...
I have no idea what I must be?
Sad?
Mad?
Scared?
It all feels so weird.....
I wish Gabriel was sitting beside me...
I wish he could make me see...
I wish he would wipe away a tear...
I wish he would call me his "dear"...
I'm literally sitting alone in the dark of the night...
And there are no stars or moon to give light...
I feel rejected by everyone...
Maybe it is because I am alone?
My dreams seem so far out of reach...
They seem so dull and they have turned bleach...
Why is there no one for me in my darkest moment?
Why do I feel broken and bent?
I know Gabriel would help me somehow...
But he is not here right now...
What have I been doing all these years?
Why am holding back tears?
Why am I stuck to the ground?
Why does gravity keep me bound?
Why can't I fly like birds in the sky?
Why can't I go so high?
Why is my life so confusing?
Why is my character so boring?
Why do I only realize now how much Gabriel means to me?
Why did I make him so very angry?
Why did I let go?
What should I do?