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-for Easter, on a body appearing in the melting snow

You can see now...
you can breathe, freely:
nothing can touch you now.

     Cry, suffer, die ...for a brother
     - by brothers you may live.

Every person has his breaking point,
I turned to drugs to ease the pain.
Do look down on me, a mirror,
having you reborn, a man again.

     Innocent like a still-born child,
     faithful like a sleeping foetus,
     ready like a falling seed.

Today it's me,
tomorrow... you.
Let them sleep roughly now.

Stanza#1 quotes a woman who lives on the streets, lamenting her halfbrother who died of hypothermia while drinking alcohol in the freezing cold.
Stanza#2 is from a Canadian war cemetry in Europe (pro amicis mortui amicis vivimus - paraphrased)
Stanza#3 depicts death inside of us, while we live in good health.
Stanza#4 I would really like on my grave (wishful thinking of course).
Stanza#5 quotes the good old Roman hodie mihi, cras tibi.
-on a person's 20th birthday

When I turned twenty I couldn't wait,
so sure was I to change the world.
Exactly right were all my thoughts
I couldn't ever stop to state.

So I turned fourty while I built and built
on top of my precisely stated schemes.
My loved ones warned me for collapse
but I would never stop, in it to the hilt.

When I turned sixty, felt a faint crack,
not in my infallible buildings
but in my overstressed back.

Now that I am eighty years of age
I know the way to perfection:
the missing line in your design
opens your cage for the future page.
Hmm. 4 stanzas x 4 lines makes 16 lines. 1 line missing + 4 makes 5. And 5 times 4 makes a pretty girl's 20 years. I knew it worked somehow ;-)
In the dark I entered my home.

I came to see
if anything was left,
anything of you and me.

I didn't realize I was blind,
the darkness was in me.

Until your lips touched mine.
Another view on social distancing.
 Nov 2020 solEmn oaSis
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems like *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.
 Nov 2020 solEmn oaSis
 Nov 2020 solEmn oaSis
Dear Luna,
It's been 457 days since I last wrote a letter for you. I know you've been through a lot. I've seen you trying to fix yourself yet failing each time. You tried your best to hide those tears from the world by burying your face into your  pillow but my darling,you can't hide them from me. Everytime you opened the bathroom door in the middle of the night, I knew you would break down again. The  strong person that the world sees would soon cry like a little baby and her world would shatter within seconds. There were days when you just wanted to curl up and die. Yes, your journal told me that. You're not okay and there's nothing wrong in accepting that.You'll surely bounce back stronger. You've came a long way. I've seen you grow a lil' better each day. You are trying to pick up the broken pieces of your heart and I belief your soul will heal gradually. Allow time to do the magic.You'll get there soon. I promise(even if I know how much you hate promises). Look outside, the sky looks a bit clearer, ain't it? Cheer up. The road seems to be rough and full of potholes that you might stumble and fall but you gotta stand up again. It's not about what waits for you on the other side. It's the climb that matters. You'll see the beauty in a wildflower again. You'll love your reflection on the mirror again.You'll discover the colours of a rainbow again.You'll learn to love life again. Just keep your ship sailing. The unseen harbour might be near, you never know!
Anyways, I should stop writing now. Just know dear, I'll be there with you always even if the world shuts the door on your face.I'll pick you up when you're getting down. You deserve everything. Keep shining. Now, smileeee:)
Thanks for reading:)
A letter to oneself is the best self therapy. Try it, you'll feel better!
Not a poem, sorry:')
I wore a veil,
They didn't like it,
Now they have to wear a mask,
everything fades like a dream
leaves me wonder which ones are real
soon as the marks are gone
the only validation is the other person's experience
now that he's left I wonder if it was all in my mind
 Nov 2020 solEmn oaSis
What has made that girl so strong?
They asked me
The truth is she wasn’t always strong
There once was a day when she had no idea what she was doing
When the words from her lips were as forced as the smile on her face
Where the bracelets on her wrists were as much to hide the scars
As they were to add a little more to her outfit
There is nothing you can say or do to hurt her
That she hasn’t already done to herself
Those words you used to insult her?
She’s repeated them a thousand times as she lay in bed
Unable to sleep
Unable to breath past the thoughts in her mind
She’s had people leave without a reason
Without a goodbye
Closing the door without a glance back
She’s broken her own heart more times then she can count
She’s felt lost
Like she was drifting out in a sea of nothingness
No lifeboat to be seen
So the reason this girl is so strong
Is because she’s gone through all that
And still has the strength to smile and laugh
Like nothing matters in the world but this moment
This is a poem about where I hope to be in the future if that makes sense
don't want to be alone
but i let you go
answer your phone
i already know
one of your friends
needs you again
i need you too
but i can't cage you in
jealousy is ugly
want you to get nice feelings from me
biting my tongue
pretending ***** lovely
but its not
wound up in thoughts
i don't wanna speak
so i'm constantly off
but i like you a lot
and i dont want you to stop
i want your voice in my ear
but you're already gone
When I look into your eyes I see paradise,
A gorgeous sunset over the blue ocean.
When I see your smile it makes my heart dance in that ocean.
You take me to a place of happiness,
A place that I feel cared for and loved.
You take me there, a place that I thought was impossible to take someone to. You make me feel my best when nobody else does or ever did, I call this dancing in the ocean.
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