I stand in the middle of the room
My classmates are commanded to listen to me
I am the 14th person to present and so far, everyone has done a good job

I stand in the middle of the room
I begin to saw the name of my project
“My Poem”
I cannot remember what it was about
I do remember, what I felt

I stand in the room,
Hoping that everyone feels what I felt when I was writing it
I felt excited, my stomach had ‘butterflies’ I think
I felt the heat in my heart and the cold on my shoulders.
I felt the tingles all over my body, and the air escaping me

I stood in the middle of the room
I stand in the middle of the room
I was in the middle of the room and said
“My poem”
I heard a chuckle.

I ignored it because the ‘in love’ heart in my chest was more excited than It should have been
I continues and my voice began to play tricks on me
And the r’s rolled and the words were suddenly in another language
My mind still ignored it and continues
Because I felt I could write, and read this and everyone could love it

I stood in the middle of the room,
I waited for the, applause, the smiles, the congrats, or even a simple ‘good job’ like everyone else
Instead…
My teacher said, work on pronunciation. She said it again. Pro-noun-ci-a-tion
Ok. ‘Work on grammar.’ ‘Work on sentence structure’
“Work on being American” the chuckle said
Or the person who chuckled?

It didn’t mean much, you know
I loved writing so much that it did not matter
I would be a writer, I would continue to
STAND in the middle of the room and share my talent
And when I did, he chuckled
She chuckled, I was Mexican

Not a writer. Writers can’t be Mexican
Unless you write in Spanish and in Mexico
But I was too American for that at this point…

SO the next time I wrote I was ashamed,
Maybe if someone else wrote my writing?
But it didn’t matter,
When the teacher began reading,
The chuckle reminded the class it was the ‘Mexican’ who wrote it

“Mi nina” My mom would say
She reminded me that no only was I Mexican
I was a woman,
Only men thrive in this world
I believed it
And that is why my name is ‘The Voice’
Not my actually name,
Disclosure: I accept criticism on how to better my writing
NOT on what to write or on my background

I'm fine. My demons are sleeping. So I'm fine. They sleep every now and then. They let me rest and be fine. But then they wake up. They wake up my anxiety and my depression. I'm fine. My demons fight. I'm fine. They throw chairs. I'm fine. They throw tables. I'm fine. My demons cry out of anger. I'm fine... They laugh at my tears. I'm fine... They comfort me when I'm sad. I'm fine. My demons rest. I cry in peace. I'm fine... When they rest, I can finally sleep. My demons are awake again. I'm fine... I'm going to stay in bed. They say I'm not depressed. I'm fine... They take down walls. They take down cities. They take down countries. I'm fine... I smile through the tears. I smile through the pain. Help! I'm screaming. I'm not fine... They make me put on a happy face. I'm not okay... I'm not fine... I am depressed... My demons throw things. They break things. Every day is a new fight. Noone sees it because they won't let me show it. I smile... I'm not okay... I'm breaking... My demons are tearing me from the inside. I'm broken... My demons win every time and no one understands. And I can't make you. My demons are sleeping. I'm broken. And I welcome a new fight with a helpless breath. My Anxiety.

ignore all possible concepts and possibilities ---
ignore Beethoven, the spider, the damnation of Faust ---
just make it, babe, make it:
a house  a car   a belly full of beans
pay your taxes
****
and if you can't ****
copulate.
make money but don't work too
hard --- make somebody else pay to
make it --- and
don't smoke too much but drink enough to
relax, and
stay off the streets
wipe your *** real good
use a lot of toilet paper
it's bad manners to let people know you **** or
could smell like it
if you weren't
careful

I'm in a treadmill in my mind,
It's like a hamster in a cage.
Claw and scratch, but I'm confined,
Till I go off the pressure gauge.
So I let out a little steam,
From the cooker in my brain,
It's not like I can simply dream,
Because I'm becoming insane.
I'm in a treadmill in my mind,
Look closer and you will find,
That the treadmill is designed,
To be a never-ending grind.

If I had power and wasn't made of flesh,
My blood would flow like rivers through the sands.
No one would live from France to Bangladesh,
I'd be an angel formed with blackened hands.
My godliness would end the lives of those,
Who dare to take a life that isn't theirs.
The fathers and their children come to blows,
The young would eat the old to be their heirs.
Men would neither run nor try to hide,
They'd know that I have come and I am fate.
A thousand men chose loving as their guide,
But billions fell pray to wretched hate.
I'd slay until there's nothing to be slain,
Until there's nothing left to bring me pain.

If I could turn back time
I would hit Backspace all day,
Id put on Caps Lock
and SHOUT what I say.

I'd use the whole Alphabet
To tell you hello,
Press seven Numbers
Til you picked up the phone.

I'd Tab through the comments
I didn't want to hear,
And use the Arrow Keys
To drag your body near.

I would Delete the harsh words
I didn't mean to speak,
And Insert the "I love yous"
I before couldn't leak.

I would use Ctrl to
Keep reigns over my heart,
And I would Escape lies
That tore us apart.

I'd Print out your photo
And kiss it goodnight,
Use the Calculator
To check that we were right.

I'd Paint you a picture
of us, you and me,
Then I'd hit Enter
Just so you would see.

Those are the things
I would do in my strife,
If only Backspace
worked in real life.

hey
                                                                                                                     sup?
nothing. u?
                                                                         im ona date with u know who
dude I thawt u and her were thru
                                                                                            i did 2 dude I did 2


so how's it goin????
                                                                                                         badly dude
                                                                        she yelled at me for eatin food!
*** that's fuckingrude
                                                                well shes a ***** I shouldv knewed.


hows the date with such and such?
                                                                          she said i used her as a crutch
                                                          she sad i don't talk and i text too much
jesus dude what a butch!
***** I mean

I wear a scarf
                  to keep my words warm.
So you will smile when
                     they smack you in the face.