For years, I've waited
For a chance to come
To hold your hand
And to call you mine
Every year I felt
Like I took another knife to my chest
But I never said anything
Because I secretly wished
That good things came
To those who waited

You see,
I always had this dark thought
That people who rushed making decisions
Would meet their doom
Just as fast as they took their chance

But more years came
And more knives I took

One year,
I saw my chance
You held it
Like it was yours
And I was very ecstatic
That no one but you held it
You grasped onto my chance
Like it was your life
Like it was the most precious thing in the world
Then, I decided not to take my precious chance
Away from you
I decided to wait for you
To offer it to me
Because that would've felt better

I decided to wait for you
To finally hold my hand
And call me yours

I decided to wait

I subliminally agreed to myself, again
That good things came to those who waited

You continued on with your life
But you still kept my chance
I wanted you to give me my chance back
But you never did...

I watched my chance come and go
I watched you give my chance away
To someone else..
I watched as you crushed my heart
And I didn't say a word
Nor did I ever tell you
That I was hurt

I just watched you take a chance
but not on me..

And all I did
was wait..
...and watch

It's cold out.
I have my warm winter coat on,
and it's only just fall.
A gust of wind blows from behind me,
my hair whips around my face
stinging my frozen cheeks.
I'm cold
and i'm tired,
I wish I could just lay down
and not fall.
I close my eyes slowly,
the wind seems to blow even more now.
I lean backwards,
i'm exhausted.
Small tear drops roll down my face,
they leave behind a tingling feeling.
I keep leaning,
letting the wind support me.
This cold, driving force,
is supporting me
when I need it.
My eyes stay closed
and I wonder what it would be like,
if I ran with the wind.
I entertain the idea,
the wind pushing me forwards,
as I sprint.
But the wind will always die down.
It'll leave me surprised and falling.
But right now it doesn't let me go,
with it's consistent cold blowing,
it let's me know it's always there,
and for some odd reason,
it makes me smile.

You find yourself so bored out of your mind,
that it becomes amusing to drive others out of theirs

Good girls will leave their heart at your doorstep
and days later, you'll have the pieces scattered around your bedroom

Your old drug of choice just doesn't seem to cut it any more,
but manipulation has never felt more addicting.

Make them say your name, make them tell you they love you
Keep that memory alive when you stop returning their calls
and when your words have cut deep enough, don't flinch when you see your mother cry for the first time
and don't think twice when you know that you're the reason why

Where did your feelings go?
You see how red your anger can be,
but do you remember what shade remorse is?
You prey on the people that love you most and run them dry
You feed off of their hope that maybe you'll change.
But you don't entertain the thought of love anymore
and you'll never see that people are not just another notch in your belt.