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 Apr 2015 Escalus
Crucifix
I lied
 Apr 2015 Escalus
Crucifix
I lied about the person I am inside. I've done what you asked I've swallowed my pride.
I've done everything I can to hide.
But I can't get it out. And I can't hold it down.
like ***** and bile its not something that should stay for a while.
Its the monster inside of me. A Million sharks eating me. The glass in my throat cuts higher and higher. The breath of fire, a scream is all I desire.
I just want to live, and I don't want to lie.
Keep the violence contained, smother your flame. Choke it down and away.
Don't ask me to stay.
If I could I would be with you every day.
but duty calls.
The world needs a changing and my heart needs rearranging.
I just can't lie to the monster inside.
Sometimes the only thing holding you back is yourself and you have to let what you want go to be the best you can be. Doesn't make it hurt any less.
 Apr 2015 Escalus
Anna Skinner
The moon spills from your eyes,
be the light behind my life,
and if not
I'll love you just the same.
All these scars and their stories,
all these full hearts with their
empty rooms.
Where do we go from here?
My love,
tell me where this road
will take us.
feeling a little lost today
 Apr 2015 Escalus
Jordan Frances
Unwarranted guilt crushes you
Until you can't feel anymore.
First it's intense pain
Then it's utter numbness
No one tells you that after it shocks
It leaves you empty
To chase some sort of hope you've lost along the way
No one tells you guilt is not something you feel
It's something you are
Converting your mind to darkness
Before you know where you exist
Whether in a lover's arms
Or between your abuser's legs
No one tells you that even though it wasn't your fault
You will believe it was
You will hate yourself for thinking that way
Because it hinders you from healing
No one tells you that even though you live in a bubble
Frozen and devoid of emotion
Breathing is still hard
Not to feel the air moving and passing through your lungs
But to consciously have to keep it functioning
To keep going.
No one tells you physical symptoms occur
And it will take you days to notice the problem
Inability to move from your slumber
Check
Nausea every time you leave the house
Check
Recurrent headaches and migraines
Check
And yet
Nothing hurts anymore
No one tells you the reason you can't feel a thing
Is because you're not living
Is because you're barely surviving
Is because you're already dead.
 Apr 2015 Escalus
Kimaya
on cloud nine from the sound of you voice speaking the three syllables of my identity directly in my ear but i'm not one for gettin' played so i fix my lips to ask you the question that my whole body is dreading,
"what do you want from me?" my heart, so loud, thumping in my ears as the future threatens the demise of this bliss that i have been waiting eight painful eternities for,
to this question, you reply "i want yo love & affection," did i ever tell you that you speak in song lyrics? your voice is the instrumental beat and the melody on this unforgettable tune on the soundtrack of my life
i'ma put my earbuds in
so i can vibe to you again
 Apr 2015 Escalus
cypress
Unnamed #3
 Apr 2015 Escalus
cypress
Chocolate eyes pair with your brunette hair
your gentle but firm grip on my hand,
fingers lightly tracing circles in the spaces between my knuckles,
How can you feel so warm?

Your touch lifts dead weight in my center;
I feel light and airless
Your warm and enveloping scent
Comforts me,
Calms me,
makes me feel like nothing is wrong in the world.

Your voice is so deep but high
slightly groggy and dark
What would it sound like if I woke up next to you?
I could listen to you talk for hours my dear,
a soothing voice among this sea of shrills.
you guessed it
i gots me a cute boy
also its slightly unfinished but i like where it ends so
 Apr 2015 Escalus
Kara Billington
Nerves
Rushing and tingling through my body
Standing on the edge ready to jump

Deep breath
I’m a balloon expanding with air
I’m light as a feather
Tethered to the ground
My feet and legs are grounded
My head is floating

Chin up and shoulders back
Briefly closing my eyes
Feel the tension of expectation
Relax, as though slipping into a warm bath

The air gains pressure,
Waiting to burst free
Let it go
Flowing as effortlessly as a breeze
With the energy to become a storm

I expose my soul
Releasing unbridled emotions
Love struck, Heartbroken, Forgotten
I feel and express it all
On my voice flows pure emotion

The end is near
The last remnants of air escape from my lungs
They linger in the room,
Unobtrusively fading to silence

The strings of this marionette are cut
I return to reality
The walls once more conceal my soul
A bittersweet longing to go back
As a single tear rolls down my face,
I smile--a soft, secret smile
 Apr 2015 Escalus
Terry Kennedy
Satori is a word that originates from Japan. It literally translates as 'awakening' and is used to describe a moment of 'sudden enlightenment'.
To attempt to understand this as an experience, try this:

Imagine your mind as being a glass prism situated behind your eyes.. It breaks up reality in a similar way to how a glass prism refracts light.

What goes in is pure and whole, but what comes out is broken and fractured. When the mind is active, what is received by the eyes is broken up into tiny little manageable pieces of information. Then for convenience, it will discard anything that it considers to be irrelevant, or 'not fitting' [what you already believe to be true].. Then your body will react according to that particular interpretation of reality. That's not to say the mind is bad or wrong, only that the mind does not see Truth, but only what it allows to be true..

When the mind falls silent the prism is removed, and you become just like a mirror. Light goes in through the eyes and your being will directly reflect what is being received.

See if you can catch the next time your mind goes silent. Be aware of the stillness it brings. Notice that the mind will want to judge it or describe it. If thoughts come, acknowledge them and let them be on their way. Just watch them. Treat them in a manner similar to watching clouds float through the sky. Stay with this feeling and remember it well.

For in that moment, all will be revealed.
This is not a typical poem, but it has been written poetically for good reason. Although the link may not be clear to some, my poem 'Quiet Child' was written with this in mind. I'd like to know if anyone can see the link :)
 Apr 2015 Escalus
JJ Hutton
The slam poet in cords, in denim,
rambles from neon beer haven
to flybuzz brothel, cracking quiet
jokes about soup to shiny junebugs
in the relentless moonlight.
One hundred dollars in thirty-five bills
slowly retreat from wallet
toward water-cut whiskey.
He’s got a chapbook widely
available at frozen yogurt shops
across the metro; he’s got a
tour in the works, tri-county,
every middle school from
Shawnee to Seminole; he’s
got a collection of ex-girlfriends,
made up almost entirely of wizened lesbians;
he’s got an MFA from UNC Wilmington,
and he shouts this more than speaks this
from his treacherous barstool to the sleepy bartender.
One of the girls, she takes him upstairs,
and to her he says, Your freckles—islands
in the sea of your milk-white skin.

The night passes, warehouses are razed,
and he watches the loft apartments emerge.
The food trucks come. He parks beside them,
typing poems made to order out of his trunk. The
money flows in, crumpled and sweaty and
in one-dollar denominations. The Old Fashions
transfigure into Old English. And in his pocket
thesaurus he looks for a word. It’s not vagrant,
nor vagabond. It’s not homeless, nor wayward.
He lies in the long shadow of a Midwestern sunset,
starved and shaking. Up from the blackened
city shrubs comes an indifferent breeze and
just as he thinks the word Pauper, he dies one
on the corner of 23rd and Western.
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