Im sorry, are the words I should have said
But sickening silence is what left instead
Forgive me, I should have begged
I was wrong, I tried but efforts become quicksand
And I know you tell me I fly but I promise you I can’t
I should have noticed, but yet I couldn’t
I wouldn’t, so convinced I shouldn’t
So now you have become an anchor for the ship you’ve built
Now your body has been used to keep me in place and afloat
Now you have become the dying sun in the night of silk
And I know you wouldn’t want it, but you’ve gone and I’ve lost hope
I know this was supposed to a push for me to be safe
But I can’t help but wonder if it was me that made you hate
The mirror, and the person behind it. Convinced you there was darkness
Waited a mile away as the bomb set off, and you became less and less
I’m sorry, is what I should’ve wrote with the stars I drew on your arm
I know your hurting, as the stars became ones in your vision, and the crash of the car alarm
Would be the last thing you heard, im sorry I couldn’t tell
I wish I would’ve been there, I wish I would’ve helped
Even if my hands began to slow, covered with your blood
I would hold you and sing a lullaby to let you know you are loved
Maybe then the angels would take you in like you’ve thought not
And even though you promised, I think about this a lot
So im sorry, I’ll say it now, im sorry for using the hope you’ve given out
Each a part of you and each a part of me, let me become what your story was about
Im sorry, forgive me, come back down to earth
I promise that I’ll listen, I promise now I will learn
I promise I will hold you like you never let me before
But I knew you needed it but yet I still walked out that door
You kept it locked for a reason but now I know it was a way to escape
You were keeping the promise so when I left it open, there was no one else you could hate
Im sorry
I hope you can forgive me though I know you won’t be beside me
I will try to become who you needed me to be
Because I don’t know what else to do from keeping me from following
Im sorry, because I’m writing to late
Im trying my best like I told you, im trying to stay sane
Will you accept my apologies, even when you are so far away?
Will you let me have another chance, will you let me hold you?
Will you let me say sorry until the empty space beside me is no longer new?

Words written into a letter
that I know you won't read
messages left unread
and I can't help but wonder if you've already left
Questions that become drawings upon my skin
the ink already stinging, drying
I've become the target in my mind, a thing to hit
Striking home, staying at home crying
Holding myself because you're so far away
but still I know you like a stranger, no matter what you say
Closer than I'd let,
closer than i'd imagined
just one year becomes life
and I have to let you go
I wonder what's holding you back
Is it all of the stories, to take you away from this world
Evil, evil world, with it's shadows
convincing you not to eat, less you get sick and hurl
yourself into oblivion, to not be awake
One last thing before you take

If we were made to write down our thoughts
and to draw out our pains
I'd have nothing to write
nothing to say
I'd stare at the paper, as you asked me why
I'd say sorry for something I couldn't explain
not to you, and not to them
these things are to be said and forgotten
a way to keep together, a way not to lose it
And if I could move again, i'd move my hand
to lift up the pencil, my body feeling like sand
Height continued to increased as they forced me to mark
down my problems, happiness, and skills
but what emerged became scribbles
to turn the paper black
the thing that I swore to you
I promise wasn't there, it was just the sense I lacked
If I were to explain how to say the words
I would choke on myself, to turn into ash
that's all that would remain

I think of falling, of the ground dropping away--- revealing
The thrashing waters from the storm ahead
I think of holding a breath that doesn't belong to me
Holding arms as tears silences screaming voices;
Until words themselves are lost in the soft skies
and trembling mountains

I hate the sunset tonight, because today it feels like goodbye
I hate the way it rained tonight,
Because it felt like a scream more than a morning sigh
I hate the way the stars shine tonight,
Because I can fade into time so silently
I hate the wind tonight
Because instead of a soft breeze, it's howling
I hate thinking of your eyes,
Because I see the pain I caused inside
I hate it all tonight, because all said before is a lie
I love the sunset, I love the rain
I love your eyes with all it's pain
I love the stars, I love the wind
Beauty always comes with pain within
So I love the sunset tonight
Even if it's goodbye

The day that faded into black, the mist that was thick
Tears that fell from the skies, the people on that list
I know that I told you , but I promise I'm not lying
I know that you don't believe me, but then why would I be crying?
I'm sorry that I hurt you, it's because I cared
I didn't know who to go for, I didn't know but I was scared
I thought I had a purpose, but I guess I'm just tied
I promise that I am these things, I promise I didn't lie
I don't want the day to fall, because then I will too
I don't want to go to sleep, because I might forget you
I know that it's not worth it, but where else do I go
This world is full of places that even I wouldn't know
A place up in the stars that seems to welcome my embrace
A world full of colors, and a world without hate
A world without torture, and a world without fights
A world without words that hurt, the fear of picking sides
Up above I could go, right here and now
Up above I could go, to escape from these words too loud
But fear keeps me in chains, and I know lord: You will question
Why I don't let go of it, why I choose to listen
And I know you see my scars, and me convinced I shouldn't
Believe in you, because I simply just couldn't
When in reality, I could, and I could hold them still
Even when I'm gone with my grave up on that hill
I'll become the night that blew up with color
I'll become the connection between two friends, or lovers
I'll become the air you breathe, and the water that you drink
I'll become the blood that you beat, and the vision that you see
And so...
Tears that fell from the skies, people on that list
With names that dripped from the paper, I've welcomed d*ath's kiss

Words evade me, often on this day, if I become more silent
Then would I be able to avoid my place?
Just one card bought me just half a day of smiles that even I couldn't keep off my face
And I wish I had said something if I had known what to say
Although you don't know, there are many reasons why
And even then, I'll ignore the day and pray for the gift of rain from the sky