You'd prefer each part of me open
With only one exception, my mouth
Unless moaning and gasping from your touch
Or intending to gratify and satisfy you
But I do not owe you my body just because
You'd like to have your hands all over it
Well you should go and find a person who
Sees life in a similar way that your eyes do

You'd like me a lot better without closed legs
I'd like you a lot better without a closed mind.

he said,
(this boy
who is not who i love
but could have been
in a life
where i didn't love
someone else already),

"i would kiss you now,
if i could."

i said,

"i know. i feel it."

i said,

"it's in the air."

i said,

"it feels thick, between us."

i said,

"the air

feels

tremulous."

"tremulous," he repeated. "that's good."

and so we sat
in the tremulous air,
me and this boy i could love,
but don't,
but don't,
but maybe.

we sat in the tremulous air
and we didn't act on it
and i'm glad,

but now

i can't

sleep.

architectural mollusks
    are falloping through
                              my brain
                        squeezing past the
                         instincts that
        have kept me down
My instincts,
              once brittle sea stars
                          that splintered
                                    into cracked
                                 peppercorns,
                 are now mixed with
           the breathy liquid
        of squid,
lubrication for
the spiny paths ahead
They blow their ink
between my
inverted vertebrae
      injecting Jello into bone
                           busting through
                        fiber and tissue like
                          fresh-skimmed
                    lavacream
and all my muck
rises to the top
in a neon rawness
that I find beautiful

Soon
my burning crevices
will be cooled
fossils will turn to flesh
and, as sure as knowledge
springs into action
I will make
for the shoreline
like a cephalopod rocket
silky smooth
my fins spun into wings
touching magic
as they glide

IT HURTS.

IT HURTS SO MUCH I CAN'T HANDLE IT.

WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?

I just wanted you

but I can't make you want me

if you don't want to

I now know that dark
balances light, and without
dark, we would be blind

Staring into the fire
As the flames crackle and pop
The elegant dance of light
That seems unable to stop

Unleash your deepest secrets
As you sit around the flames
For those who shall surround you
Will soon forget your name

Alcohol and spirits
Fill your body and mind
Though around the bonfire
You will feel yourself unwind

The people here will listen
Strangely they will care
And for some odd reason
Everybody else will share

A peculiar bonding moment
With strangers you just met
What is it about this fire
That makes nobody seem like a threat

No faces to be matched
With the words that they pour out
No contact info exchanged
For this moment will be blacked out

So come sit around the bonfire
And begin to pour out your soul
Because for this fragile moment
Your story can finally be told

Sing me a sweet lullaby
a tune that will reverberate through my head
as you softly whisper goodbye