I see the world in different shades of him
I try to keep my eyes closed, pretend not to see
I deny and deny and refuse to feel
Because he is too important to lose to love
So I will suffer until I learn to let him go
Or perhaps one day I'll cave and finally let him in

Because he is everything I have ever wanted
And everything that I never want to lose

Sleep holds me in his warm embrace
His hands creep around my neck
The pressure keeping me awake

The world's ablaze
Filled with rage
Mother nature is to blame

Not your God who is supposed to save
Not your God whose hands create
It's mother nature, the one who gives

Mother nature, the one who shares
Mother nature, the one who loves
Not your God who turns his back, no

The God who cares more
About your "unholy" bedroom life
More about your uncharitable deeds
Than he does the state of peace

Blame it on our mother
Who gives us her breath so we may live
Who gives the fauna from her back so we may eat
Who is crying silent tears so we can drink in peace

Yet you praise God
For his Mercy
For his 'generosity'
While he steals all her credit

Our dying mother, mourning her broken body all alone
While we dance across her continent sized bruises
And blame her abuse on herself alone

We block out tragedy
With insensitive jokes to hide our fears

Put a pause on the tears
That feel like a painful rain

Push away the horror and trauma
While hoping for sun to reign again

Knowing that the uncertain future
Will inevitably unravel before us

And only we can pick up the pieces
Of a broken history that crumbled before our eyes

We hold up our open hands
Though the world tells us to hold them shut

We help where we can
And we shatter where we can't

He knelt at the side of her bed
Like a throne or alter
His mind full of hope or surrender
Even he didn't know which it was

He held her hand
Told her he couldn't understand
What she was going through
That he didn't know what would happen

But he told her he'd be there
He'd be her comfort and all her courage
She would see him in her dreams
He would never leave

He swore it like a Knightly oath
With his hand over his heart
He told her tomorrow was uncertain
But today would last forever

And so she never died
She lived forever in that moment
Like a Queen with her fervent strength
A Goddess with her humble tears

She lived eternally within his promise

I crashed into love
My ship had been lost at sea
Map was torn to shreds
And my compass had mislead me
Lied to me and abandoned me
Brought me to the wrong island
To hell and back and back again
I was trapped there on that Purgatory Island
Afraid i'd never make it off at all
I escaped-
Returned back to my ship at sea

My anchor was lifted
I let the ocean carry me away
Simply drifting through
A torrent life
Aimlessly floating by
Island after island
Too afraid to land
Too afraid it would be
Another perdition in disguise

I closed my eyes after staring
So closely and longingly at the clouds
How they danced in the sky
A song of freedom and carelessness
While I was chained down to earth
My heart anchored in the lonely sea
I closed my eyes to escape reality
To for just one second
Feel as careless as the clouds in the sky

I let my ship be wrecked once more
By a tiny islet alone in the ocean
Such a hard ****
Such irreparable damage
From such a tiny island
I felt helpless
Distraught and terrified that
My carelessness brought me back
To that devilish island

I was shipwrecked by love
Afraid and alone
I had no clue what to do
Other than brave it out
And step once more
Onto a foreign land
A tiny island
Not even on a map
A tiny beautiful island
The more I let go of fear
The more I longed to see
The deeper into the heart I went
The less afraid I became
I didn't want to leave
And to this day I remain
Home on that Heaven Island

The sea no longer calls to me
No temptation on the horizon
No doubt on my tongue
The angelic land is home to me
Holds me in a devoted embrace
My Elysium hidden away
From erroneous judgement
A tiny islet in the sea
Yet home to a thousand Nirvana's
Just for me

Most people say family is forever and everyone else is just a choice
But truth is we choose our family with every passing moment
We choose our spouse, choose to have children
We choose to stay; to care; to coexist
While this isn't always the case for every one in every place
We often have the option to choose our family
Sometimes families tear each other apart with hate
Instead of leaving we choose to say "We are family" and stay

We don't choose love

We don't get to decide who takes our heart by force and in a flurry
We can choose who we will allow keep it safe and hold onto it
But we don't get to decide who we fall in love with

We call it a fall because it isn't a walk, a run or a jog
It's sudden, unexpected and unanticipated

We don't walk around this world knowing the love of our life
We bump into them, we are introduced, we trip and fall
We stumble into love and we stumble out

We don't look around a room and say-
"That one, that's the one i'm in love with"
That's not love, that's lust and attraction

We fall into, for and because of someone else
We get hurt
We pick ourselves back up
We laugh, we cry
We don't get a say in if they leave or if they stay
We lose, we grieve
We blame and we accuse
But we don't get to choose
Because love is not a choice

Love is a feeling
A calling
An urge
An undeniable force of gravity; A magnetic field
We are pulled towards and pulled apart
We are pulled so hard together we knock each other over
Just to get to our one true center

Love doesn't have a name
It's not a person
It's a connection
My love is the force that pulls us together
My love is the hurt that knocks me over
Whether I wish it was or wasn't
Love is not a choice

We can't lie to ourselves like we lie to others
A heart that beats is simply such
You can't tell it to stop or beat for someone else

Family we choose
Love we find