Hills that look like whales
cavorting across a sky sea
Dawn only ever half asleep
yawns into the night dreaming
While all gentle stars shining
peek over the days horizon
fading into a blue tomorrow

I open windows every day,
to let the wind air out my room.
Blowing out all the memories,
clearing out the lonely gloom.

The smell of flowers covers
what lingers of your cologne.
And in the fall the smell of leaves
masks that I am here alone.

The sounds of outside drown out
your voice echoing in my head.
Trees rustling and birds singing
ring in my ears instead.

The breeze feels so familiar,
slightly cool across my cheek.
It replaces the touch of your hand,
saying things without having to speak.

But I wake in the dark of the night,
shivering from the cold.
The wind has crawled in my bed,
and you're not here to hold.

I push down on the window,
but it's stuck, and so am I.
My sheets are frigid and foreign,
I can't sleep but I still try.

The sounds are now haunting,
crickets and howling at the moon.
I touch your side of the bed,
and pray I fall asleep soon.

It's the little things that make me feel alive.

Like watching my pulse beat through my body.

Or driving with the windows open.

Or watching someone laugh harder than they ever have before.

Or seeing the look in someone's eyes as they stare at you like you're the best thing that's ever happened to them.

Or that adrenaline rush as you drop from the top of a roller coaster.

I want to run free because that would make me feel more alive than ever.

And I never want to stop because I don't want to stop feeling alive.

i can't get you out of my head.
you're stuck there,
you and the words you said.

they were few, calming, reassuring.
i had been underwater for too long
i found myself in your arms.

sweet, thoughtful, dry.
your gaze was loving
against the baby blue sky.

i felt healed, sane.
i felt better than i have in years.
my composure was there again.

i had wished it had lasted,
i wished you could've stayed.

then i found myself alone, horribly alone,
in the purple light, along the shore
in my room.

cruel. cruel. cruel.
things always end.
but our moments accrue
and i am thankful
for the help that was sent.