keep your eyes closed love.

           e     t      
       m           i
    o                 m
s                        e  
                            s     all you have to
                                                                ­
                                                                ­ l                  to is what the sound
                                                           ­      i            n
                                                  ­                s           e
                                                               ­          t

                                                              ­                               v
                                                               ­                         a        e
                             ­                                          of the  w               s
                                                               ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­            tells  you
                                                                ­                                        to do.

One day I woke up. I woke up to the reality that the life as I once knew was shedding and I will never be the same.....

I can not speak for everybody, but I can speak for myself. One day I woke up to the fact that I did not want to keep singing the same classic blues of a troubled past. That I no longer wanted dance to a beat of another heartbreak, that I no longer wanted to fight for my worth and that I belong in this world. That I wanted to be in the moment and  acceptance of being.
You might ask,  what does that have to do with suppressed emotions? For me that I suppressed how much that I was hurting. That I had to keep on a mask to show I was worthy. That I had to pretend to much that I was ok, when I wasn't. That as I begin to wake up, If my actions were that impactful while hurting.. Lets thinks about how impactful they are if I am healed.
They say there are three sides of a story. Your truth, their Truth and The Truth. Well My truth is what I can walk in. And If the past was just that painful what are ways I can change the story to become impactful...

-Janielle Green

My entire life,
I have been waiting.
For years,
Almost two decades now
I have been waiting.
Waiting,
For the better parts.
Waiting,
For the “soon”.
Waiting,
For my life to begin.
Because,
I don’t feel like I have lived.
In the nearly twenty years
I have been alive
And breathing
I do not feel
In any of those years
That I have been alive.
I don’t feel like a single breath
That I have taken
Has been real.
I feel as if
All these years
I’ve been stuck
Behind a window
Watching as my life unfolds
Before me.
I feel that
I have had
Zero control.
That I am in the backseat
Letting someone else drive.
That someone else,
Is writing on the pages
Of MY life.
But no more.
I will break that window,
I will take that wheel,
And I will write
My own pages.
My life has begun,
And now -
I’m in control.

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