I died before I met you
Only once prior
I recovered, got better, and made it through
Try to believe me, I know I’m a liar,
But I died once before I met you

I died the day I met you
Because my heart stopped beating
Your attractiveness too true
I was afraid to mumble a greeting
But I already died for you

I died the day after I met you
You wouldn’t get out of my mind
I got distracted – couldn’t make do
For someone like me, you were too kind
I died because I withdrew

I died a month later without you
I couldn’t even fight it
The fear stuck to me like glue
I started breaking bit by bit
I died when I wasn’t supposed to

I died a season later when you
Saw I was too broken to be fixed
I had a strong sense of déjà vu
But I was nevertheless transfixed
My death meant nothing to you

I died before I was friends with you
Your change of mind bemused me
Because you never used to
Listen to my sorry plea
I died when the world was no longer blue

I died two more times all because of you
You made me laugh, you made me cry
Until my world was back to blue
You clipped my wings so I couldn’t fly
My deaths were caused by you

I died a last time because of you
After we were long done
I saw you with another and trouble began to brew
While that’s all I ever was
I died because I wasn’t enough for you

That quiet girl in the corner?
The one who seems to have no friends?
She is the one who is strongest
Who lives with the most demons
But she isn’t brought down
She has changed, sure,
And although she may be different from others,
She is happy
Even if it seems as if she’s not

That stand-out boy in the center?
The one who everyone loves?
He is the one who is weak
Who is afraid of seeing a wrong
And he is brought down by fear
He may not change
And although he may be “normal”,
He is not happy
Even if it seems as if he is

I met the perfect boy;
Level-headed and kind
Humorous and forgiving

I liked to think that we could
Be together one day
But as Father Time relentlessly
Made me and said boy grow older
I saw that my dream
Was only that

I met the perfect boy;
Level-headed and kind
Humorous and forgiving

I met the perfect boy,
But I'm not the perfect girl

“Write down a specific goal for next time,”* they keep saying,
And every time I sit there with the same emotionless expression
Thinking, "I'm not even gonna be there. What's the point?"
I have goals, sure. Don't get hurt, don't let yourself get hurt, and don't die,
But for "next time"?
Is there going to be a another time when I feel as comfortable as this?
Another day to talk and joke with my friends?
One more chance to have one more class?
The answer is no.
There might not be a next time.