He called me last night, out of the blue and when he said "Hello?" I felt something, it had been so long since I'd heard his voice, It took me a moment to gather my bearings but finally I said "Hello" too.
I shouldn't have answered the call, I know, but its him.. Him. Something about it felt so wrong yet so right, crazy right? there was a silence for a minute or two, just listening to him breath felt like home to me "I heard" he said. "Are you happy?"
I am and I'm not. You see, I still miss the boy I never once forget, I loved him an awful lot but now I have another, I get on well this his mother, he cares like no other, never causes me any grief, never makes me shout and please, I never need to beg him not to leave he's pretty **** loyal you see.
"Yes," I told him "I think so"
He let out a sigh, already I felt the urge to cry.
"That''s all I ever wanted for you, I just wanted you to be happy"
"I know," I said to him. "I miss you."
There was a brief moment of silence and then he said "I miss you too, I think I probably will forever."
It was true for me too, I had to let him know.
"I'm always going to miss you." I said "I never wanted to let you go"
"I know," he told me. "But I'm glad you that you did, I became someone unrecognizable and I loved you enough to know you deserved much better and I'm happy you've got that now."
"Thank you." I whispered.
"I love you," he said "I won't ever call again but I love you, you know that and I'm sorry, sorry for the way it was at the end, sorry for everything. Be happy, ok? Have a great life, I love you."
I never got the change to respond, by the time I opened my mouth and though of something to say in response he was already gone, had disconnected the call. "I love you too," I whispered down the phone to no one at all but I couldn't help but feel as if he had heard me anyway, even though there was no longer anymore on the other end of the phone.

i hope to god you didn't forget about me
because i will never forget about you
trust me, and this may not make sense
but I've never wished the worst upon you.

i want you to be the best you can be,
and gosh dang it i miss you missing me.

arent you tired of talking about me in the past tense?

It's hard to get over
The past.
It's just, really
*******
Hard.
But I'm trying.
I'm doing my best to forget it;
To forget you.

skin tight shirt
no pants
and a pair of knee high socks.
lost in the folds
of this empty bed.
she is a lover
a fighter
and your worst friend.
she’ll drag you in
with the curves of her body
and soft smiles
that promise to give you everything.
then,
she’ll drain you
of your soul,
your energy.
she feeds
on the passion of
the young and reckless.

watch where you step
you don’t want to be caught
in her trap.
i’m only giving you a fair warning,
she knows where you hide
and she can ****** you in the blink of an eye.
oh darling,
don’t try to escape
I’ve already got you locked in
with these words of a carnal sacrifice.

Fire
Tears across the horizon.
Orange, red, gold,
Burning the eyes,
Unstoppable.

Dark, black clouds,
Like a curtain,
Stretch across the newborn sky.
Blotting out all
But a stripe of Hell.

Wind
Scalds the skin
As the streak of flame
Grows ever larger,
Ever brighter.

Perhaps
When the sun shows itself,
Dissolving the illusion,
The fear of unstoppable flame
Will cure you.

Eat old words
Full of next day shame hangover remorse
How stupid to think you could feel Anything for Me
What am I
But a source of attention
To boost your confidence

I drink this same day bourbon
To forget about you half so easily

She stares out the window
hoping to see
something beautiful
that will give her glee

She sees nothing
it's bare, hallow, empty
the only thing she sees
are the tears clumped up in her eyes
about to fall

Maybe someday
she'll look out of the window
and see the beauty
that lays within her