Im a Drug addict.
Who Replaced there substance.
No more Crystal,
You became my new ****.
I grew an addiction
Following obsession.
For you to love me.

I was addicted
To doing everything
To get 1 feeling in return.
Your love .

I let myself get walked one.
Kicked , tossed , Used.
I let you treat me at your like.
Today your nice
tomorrow your mean.
You gave me attention & love
At your convenience.
I was ok with it.
Even though it was all tearing
My heart apart
I let you Play me.
Betray me, lie & fool me.

I knew you Were bad.
You’ve done nothing but cause damage to my heart, soul & mind.
You cheated .
Emotionally & mentally.
You Abused me.
Emotionally & mentally.
The pain you’d cause
Was so Harsh
I considered suicide as
my way out.
To end the reality
Of what we really are & Forget that invisionsed a fantasy.
Of you being my Prince Charming.
Who’d treat me like a princess giving me nothing but love & reasons to smile & feel happy.

Seeing you worser than ****.
your Real , You treated
me the way I feared .
“I don’t want a relationship,
I don’t even want my heart to get broken .”
I gave you reasons why
Examples ,
What’d you do ?
Everything I told you
I did not want someone to
put me through.

Gotta Love This ****
Changes You Up Quick.
Take A Little Hit, Take A Pop, A Taste, A Bite A Syringe  .
Chemical Effects Seeing Life Unrealistic Getting Super ****** Twisted <3
Loving Life Feeling 20x Better Than Mighty Fine, iTs Fantastic Can Be Long Lasting.
You'll Truly See How Wonderful iT iS, Like Real Magic.
Body Sensation, Mind Blasting,  Euphoria Rising, Smiles, Hugs, Many Laughing.
One Simple Dose Can Make You Feel important, Wanted, Loved,  Above, Amazing, Powerful, Special, invincible.
Your Kept Focused On Yourself And Dreamy Like Flow That You'll Soon Fall inlove With
iTs A Feel indescribable & Just Everything You Can Ask For.
Blocks And Keeps You Away From Your Surroundings, its Unique, intense, Has Suspense , Gives You Affection & So Much Satisfaction Plus Attention Keeps You  Distracted By These Temporary Actions.
You Like What iT Brings You
How Happy & Better Of A Life You Seem To Be Living iN Your Eyes,
it Lies
It'l Keep You Wanting So You Begin And Keep On Finding .
You Used, Now You Abuse
Fell For iTs Tricks,Now You Say
I Can't Live Without This.
Your Life's On Pause Took This Dangerous Vacation Which No One Has A Clue Whether You'll Come Back The Same Or Alive Cause
Your Brains So
Damaged & Fried
You Keep On Consuming Assuming Everything's All Right,
Your Hooked On This Potion Poison That Hypnotized You
Took Ahold Of You
Your Becoming Unknown
Lost Control , Life Spans On A Thin Line, Fast Mode, Became So Distant , isolated
Your Un-Existent To The World Now. But You Yourself Dont Even Give A **** About Anyone But Your Drugs . Went So Low Sold Your Soul To A Heavy Substance Which You Consider Your Only And Lord.
Minds Erased,
Future Hope And Dreams Went All To Waste
Reality Seems Fake
So Used To Being High
You Feel its Your Normal Estate. Have No Faith Became So Negative , And Careless & Use Your Heart less Went Against Your Morals & Values Not Minding The Monster You Have Turned into.
Self  Image Beginning To Lose iTs Color iTs Details
Thinning , All Numbed Out,
Having No Type Of Emotions , Cant Laugh, No Smiles, Your Charm Fades,  Life Became A Daze Long Maze You Then Begin To Feel Hopeless, Worthless Thinking And Believing You Can Only Move On By Continuing Smoking
This Dope ****
Your Body Begins This Tolerance, leading & Waiting To Introduce You To What You'll Consider Hell Worser Than Comedowns
Withdrawls.
Body's All Messed Up Tricking You Into Thinking That A Nice Hit Will Fix You Up.
So Much More To This Bad Habit Of A Drug.
Havnt Mentioned
Money, Risks, And Lost's.
Drugs End Up ******* You Up Sadly Madly Disappointed At The Fact You Threw Away Your Life Without Even Noticing .
Or Wanting.
Your Addicted And Sickened
Strung Out But Still Looking Towards How Your Getting Your Next Fix? You Still Go Down The Lane Passing The Stop Sign
In Another Dimension  Nobody But You Only Mention
Going Krazie, Buried Yourself,
Your A New Person.
Paranoia, Voices, Shadows, Whispers Your Becoming insane Looking So Drained.
On A No Sleep Mode,
But You Don't Care So You Still Go Down The Same Lane
Cause iTs Really Hard To Change From What You Have Been Around And Same Routines For A While And So Used To Doing And Living With These New Drugged
Thoughts, Mind, New State Mentality Full Of Loving Drugs And Living With Day And Day On And On.
You Messed With Your Head
Even Though You End Up Making iT To Sobriety Days
Most Likely You'll Relapse And Fall Again.
Because Drugs Had Made A Huge Impact In Your Life For A Long Period Of Time
iTs A Strong Attachment That Can And Will Heal By Time iF You
Try
Have Hope in Your Eyes Ears Heart &
Mind.

i Love the drug
But the drug isnt real love.
Even Though im not using, i still have thoughts of it.
even though im not physically active
My Minds processing as if i were.
i Want to stop
Stop thinking of it, its a daily thing
always happening.
When im Overthinking
Feeling Upset, Frusturated, Trapped
And Alone
My solution to wanting to end it is
to get in My Zone.
My Brain Always Headlights Drugs When Im Struggling In My Life
When i Cant Controll My Problems
I Give up quick and dont wanna bother solving them.
i Hate This Drug
But the drug Loves me
When i Dont Want it, It Sneaks Up On Me
to remind me thats its there
all i have to do is dial up
and i can get it quick.

iWant To Be Set Free.
Away And Cured From This Addictive Disease.
iWant To Be Happy, iWant To Actually Smile
iWant To Be Able To Feel
iWanna Laugh And Enjoy Life
iDont Like Being Addicted
iDont Like Using And Tweaking No More
iWant To Quit
Sober Up Entirely
From My Health And Mind
iWant The Angel Back On My Shoulders.
iWanna Do Good
iWanna Succeed And Become Somebody
This Drug Always Seems To Get The Best Of Me
To Fall Easily
God Give Me Strength And Strong Wings

If he wants to believe
My love was never there.
I must accept
That all my tears were never seen
If he wants to believe
I never cared
I must accept that all my effort
went to waste.
In a life.
We encounter many interests.
In which we put ourselves to experience
what seems so delighting.
In a life .
We are first witness & what
We thought turned out good was opposite
Our views changed
Either purposely or unnoticed.
In this world you won’t do things you Dont want to.
You will never enjoy something forceful.
To my point , my feelings hurt as I say this.
Now I realize ..
I have to accept it is part of reality
If the Man Im my world
, sees me as the problem
like his stress & headaches
Without me ever truly offending In any type of  way
I have to accept it.
If he’s starting to think of his own life without me.
I much accept it.
I was a doubt
he mingled me around
swerved different ways
played with me a bit.
like life
he liked, but wasn't that found of me

I’m Trapped.
I’m not ok , I’m not safe.
The habits creeping up.
Slowly but rapidly.
I believe I got it together.
I tell myself I got it under control.
But do I really?
Relapsing after 2yrs is making an impact.
I’ve been falling frequently.
For a short time but I’m still using .
It will take ahold of me unexpectedly.
Slowly convince me this Drug life’s worth risking .
I need help .
I look fine.
I haven’t used severely but my minds hyped.
Il Get To that level.
If I don’t reach out in time.
My thoughts are converting slow
I can feel the careless emotions growing.
That’s why I’ve found it so easy to use and get away with it.
“Just today” “it’s only alittle” “I can handle this”
That’s until I build up my tolerance.
Lord Help me .. you know il cause heartbreaks if I turn back to what I Once was..

Year after year
Her Tears kept falling.
Promise after promise
Her heart
Forever pulsing Sadness.
Chance after Chance
No changes were ever accomplished.
She Wants Her fare share.
Of mutual Love and care.

Im startling to realize
that this life i idealized
of sweet charm, comfort & company
will never be found here.
Im constantly lied to.
"Im trying"
Soo much time has been already given..

im tired.
ive been waiting so patiently.
for what?
more negative results.
more apologies and excuses.
"im sorry baby"

I’m never out.
I’m sitting on the bench.
Enjoying the breeze.

Yes Again.
He’s gone M.i.a.
My minds Pacing .
Frustration is currently running.

My mind had dead ends.
Negative thoughts just bouncing & they’ll never stop.

I’m urging .
To Do anything
Go anywhere
Visit random places.
I’m so angry.

Nothing I can do.
Just sit & Wonder.
Overwhelm & stress my head.

As much as I know
He’s gone somewhere away from home with Friends.

I’m outside .
Every loud Roar
I feel it’s him.
My hopes are Still high
That he’ll pull in.

I’m really hurt.
So tired of disappointment.
I’m really upset.
Always Looking on the brighter side Knowing it will soon darken.

I don’t deserve this.
Why Do I go through it :(

All I Wanted was Real love.
I just Wanted someone's touch
To be specific I Wanted him
He's the reason I gave in
To open up a side of me
that's never been seen
I allowed to love
I put my guard down
Something I've never done
For no one
Even The Thoughts of drugs slowly drove out
I was focused On
His where abouts
He became my new addiction
I got lost on his smile
idk What made me Fall in love
He was not Sweet, he wasn't nice
I guess it was the drug that put me in a dream.
It got me seeing things that I'd wish he'd really be like..
I wasn't right
Now I'm hating on my self
All these drugs
These ****** Drugs ****** me worser than I've been before.
Now because of this
I want them more.
This relationship has been a lie
The Substance but him in disguise
Oh my mind how it failed
To see the truth of what was real
That love I fell for
Wasn't ever real.
My babylove
It proved it's self
Thats the deal, that's the only thing that's never done me wrong.

I’m Down.
Il take all the risks now  For A Pound.
I’m tired of All this ****.
Back & fourth Arguing  
non stop B.s
I’m Really For it now.
I can’t take this useless life of mine
Doing nothing but wasting time.
**** it **** itOh your bad?
I don’t give a ****
I feel no pitty when I’m on
**** your feelings cause I’m gone
Yeah I’m All for it.
Take The risks that dope life brings
I’ve had enough
I hate sobriety
Dope love Baby , come save me

It remains in the present .
Happened 1/2/3/4/5 yrs ago.
They always got pushed away & forced to be forgotten.
It remains in the present.
No solution was ever talked out.
The problems repeated itself.
Through out the years.
It remains in the present.
Trust was broken .
Never once has it been attempted to get fixed just worsens.
“It was the past !”
My feelings pushed under the rug.
Never acknowledged.
The past holds unsolved heartbreaks.
The past holds tear drops that still tear now.
The past holds “forgiving actions”
That still happen.

I just want to
Intoxicate My Self.
With lots of drugs.
Right now, In this moment
I just want to get ****** up.
Drink lean, Smoke ****. Feel slump and Hazey.
Sniff coke , Smoke G.
Right after .
Chew A Cap & A thizz .
Just ****** go all out there.
Right now
In this moment ?
I just want to get intoxicated.
Escape my reality
Mix up all hard drugs
In my veins.
Yeah, I’m tired.
I hate breathing everyday.
Yes , Drugs.
Not to feel high . To feel nothing but numb.
A crazy flow of different substances.
I want to be taken off this earth.

We Are Done.
You & I.
Yes that’s Right.
This Times Forreal .
I cant take Anymore
Anger & tears.

Your always bothered
Irratated or annoyed
At anything I do .
I have no voice
No opinion
Im Tired Of Loving
Someone’s who’s just too ****** selfish & cruel!

*******
Yes I said it.
In a tone filled with so much hatred!
*******
I hate You !
Can’t think of 1 thing to regret it.

Your full Of negativity
Always bringing my spirit down .
I’m my own enemy already!

I’m good with out you !
Yes I mean it !
A life full of smiles
& Laughter once I get away
From you !!

Your too Much !!
It’s all about you !
Only you can set & Break rules!
Your mistakes are never talked !
Explanations never
come out your mouth !!

My entire life
With you I’ve been Blue !
You never attemp to make
me feel Good !

You don’t help me !
You tell me things that
worsen me!
Leave me !!!!
****** leave me !!

I’ve been holding strong.
Fighting all the triggers.
Coping with holding
back the urges.
I’m proud of myself.
For being able to move forward.
I’m finally on the
road of recovery.
Putting in all my Effort to over come this .
It’s All good Now ,
I’m glad I don’t have to walk around with all that weight of being careful & looking out.
All the Weight of What
addiction brings .
Finally, A new beginning.
First thing off My Life list
Is Everything that involves drugs.
I no longer want to be in conversations , settings , reminders etc That involve Substances.
(:

I’m ******* tired
Of your *******
Fed up with making
Me feel so ******* useless
Sick of all
Your manipulative ways
My wasted days
Sitting around crying
Punishing myself by
getting high Or cutting.
All because of your avoidance,
Sents to voicemails
no replies ,
Tears down my cheeks
While Beers, music , parting
In your Eyes.
I walking lonely dark streets
To blow of the angered frustrated steam that Whistles
Out my body
Because you continuesly
Hide , lie , deny
Every question asked.

I hate I cry
I cry I hate
I’m tired of being
In this Same place

Piles after piles
Depression
Addiction
Emotionally abused
Self esteems so low
Been told many things
To make me feel
Like I truly have no worth .
So sad
That I’m just going with everyone’s flow of me
Being the chaos To
Anything , everything
That goes wrong .

I’m drowning in the sea
People see my desperation
to swim up To breath
Watching me Suffer
Do nothing when I scream
The words h e l p

They just stand by & point a finger
“Shouldn’t have gotten near
the water”
Yeah I know that above phrase made no sense
To you the reader
But there’s so much to explain

I’m just done
I can’t find words to explain
Wrapping my self up
I don’t want drugs
I don’t want pain
I don’t want to run away
I just want to sit
Shove the stick into my mouth
& Pull back the Burner
Push hard & fast
On the trigger
blow up My brain
I’m sad I’m hurt
Lalalala
I just can’t cope
I don’t want dope
Don’t want smoke
want No Sharp objects
I just want all of this to stop

Close my eyes & wake up
To a life where I have it all together
A career
Job , car
Normal life with the basic problems every one els deals with

Idk idk
Why’d he break my heart
Gave Love a chance
High hopes of finally
Making it out my current misery
Start up a new
Beginning
I got twice pain
I got shredded
My life’s at its worst
Going to bed
Sweet dreams to me
Night

Silently
I’m walking away.
My love for him
Is no longer the same.
The spark between us is gone.
I’m drained.
Of feeling sad & not good enough
Everyday.
I’m tired of crying
Doubting , assuming , Concluding.
For it all to be true.
I’m tired of
Being acknowledged when I do something wrong.
I’m tired of trying.
Hearing “I’m sorry”
Knowing it’s false.
After every alpology
Comes another
“Sorry love “.
It’s a waiting game.
I’m tired of it.
Not for long ..
He’ll apologize
Il reply “for what?”
I didn’t even notice.
Because I no longer care.

The Sky iS Frozen
Money iS Falling, Green iN The Air.
Theres A Scream, A Screen
Can iT Be
Crystal Clear Flashing its self to me
How Could iT Be
Yes, its The Substance
iT Has Control Over Me, iT Owns Me
iAlready Gave iT My Soul
it Bought Me
iM iTs Slave, iTs Puppet
its Two Thousand Thirteen
2013
**** Hasnt Changed, iTake Rehab As A Game
iGained More Knowledge
iPledge To My Godess
Which iS The Evil The Crooked The Devil.
iM A fallen Angel iNlove with Crystal

Cried my last river.
drowned in my tears.
Sobbed away the sorrow,
Acknowledging that this is it.
There is no future with him.
For years I held on to something
that was never going to work.
My love for him was pure,
I was dedicated and committed.
I loved Him.
This is it though,
no matter how much I love him
I can't go through any more pain,
Just because I love him
shouldn't mean I have to keep staying
every time he hurts me.
Im hurting so much,
I feel like a fool.
How could I let myself
be treated this way for many years.
How much time I wasted
trying to show how true I was.
what a fool of i.

im tired
im so tired of this
im so tired of trying to get him
to see how hurt I am.
He doesn't care
he never gaf
all evidence and proof is there.
its time I get up
and walk the **** away

That’s the sad truth
He never loved me.
I was never beautiful to him .
He claims it’s the truth
Though it’s clear it’s
FALSE ASFFFF

The way he treats me ??
THATS NOT ****** LOVE
HES FULL OF ****!
IM SO TIRED OF THIS !!
HES NEVER TRUE
THE FEELINGS HE CLAIMS ?!
Baby that Fuckinn
BULLLLLLLSHITTTTTT
Calls me a ***** ?!?
WHAT REAL REASON
Does he have to prove ?!
NAH NAH **** THIS RELATIONSHIP
IM TOO GOOD FOR THIS FOOL
IT WAS A MOTHAFUXKIN PRIVILEGE TO DATE A GIRL LIKE ME
FAITHFULL ABD ****** LOYAL!!
All for what ?
To be played , Betrayed
Hurt neglected
EMOTIONALLY ABUSED
LOOK AT THESE MOTHAFUXNJN CUTS ON MY WRISTS!!
How many times have I carved for you ?!?
Idk idk my mind is spinning.
All I want right now is to GET A FUCKINN FIX !
Dope has always proved its self to me .
Ain’t nothing in this world that can make me feel whole.

I don't care
How people might View me
I don't give a ****
Call me a Drug Addict
I don't give a ****
**** I love it
Why deny it?
Ew you crack head
Ha ***** Mind yours
Cause I love that world
Drugs and drugs
Yes, I love all of them

She Smiles, So Bright.
She Laughs, She Giggles, She Jokes.
She Frouns, So Low.
She Cries, She Screams And Throws.
She Waves, She Hugs.
She Plays, Shes Sweet And Talks.
She Pushs, She Goes insane.
She isolates, Left Alone, Danger Zone
She Goes Energetic Then Switchs into A Deep Depression. So Confusing
She Likes To Walk, Likes To write
She Has To Be Babysitted, Her Everymove Gets Closer and relapse
She's Full Of Happiness Shes Full of Light And Comfort. she's kind, Sweet And Respectful.
Shes Full Of Negative Surprises, Disappointment And Disasters.
She Needs To Get Her life Together.

I'm done
With Our love &
anything involved
with you.
I can't continue on with this ****.
I want both SS
Sober & Single.
Find me a new life outside of you.
I'm Always suffering
I'm sad, Down & frusterated.
I'm always told
"Your young & beautiful"
"There are better men in the world"
I contemplated at first.
Saying il never love another.
I shouldn't think like that.
I shouldn't hate Love because of 1 that Ruined and broke my heart.
I have hope.
I don't want to smoke dope.
Il one day be happy.
Feel good naturally.
Someone will come across me
Who is a true Bf
Who will not make me feel bad
Who will truly love me for me.
At the mean times
I'm done being played silly
I'm going to focus on my Sobriety.
Eventually someone New will come between me & treat me how I'm deserved to be.
I'm a great girl who can do amazing things.
Aslong as I'm played dearly fairly.
Looking forward To a real love.
The one I had, Well You
lost a good one

When iDont Seek iT
iT Seeks Me
Now That iDont Want iT
iT Finds Ways
Finds Ways To Make iTs Way
To Convince Me
To Say Yes Once Again
But im Strong
iKnow iM Not, But if i Try To believe
Maybe itl bleed through
That i Can Beat iT.
Sobriety

**** *** Am iDoing
Making This Worse For My Self
iJust Begun
And Re Picked Up
This iS Were iT Starts.
Should Begin To Worry
iTs Way To Early!
Already On A Thin Line The Last Chapter iN My Life
till My Death Story.
iM Killing Me Slowly
By Taking This Substance.
My Times Ticking
My Hearts Beating
As iContinue To Use
More Like Abuse.
iCant Just Take
1 Line Or Smoke 1 Bowl
And Save The Rest.
iGo All About And Have To Do Every Last Bit.
Then iGo On Again To Finding A Way To Get More Of it

Been feeling so alone.
I want to go on a zone.
but I don't want to go that far.
I don't want to feel the heavy down fall.
just want to stay above & never fall off.

Thoughts come & go.
Weight of the urge
has been heavy & heavier.
Its begun weighing down on me.

Devi devil devil
You have my minds in circles.
Clever clever clever
You’ve got me Following this trail.
I’m ready ready, not quite.
I’m stepping where I’ve stepped long ago ..
Mother Mary Mary
Help me I’m Far off
My eyes have Begun to shut
I’ve lost grip.

No one no one no one
Can save her now .

My Heart is broke,
I glued the pieces back together.
Then it happened again,
Once more I glue the fallen pieces.

My love
still goes on for him.
No matter his destruction.

His wrongs stay unspoken.
My bucket filled of tears
is always left unnoticed.

No matter the storm
I hang on tight.
Made a commitment
To loving him long .

It’s hard.
Balancing out the lows
Leveling out the highs.
puzzling everything
To make all his
Broken promises
Appear right.

It’s been a journey ,
A troubled trail
Interfered Within my own life.
It’s been chaotic,

Seeing where I’m
Stepping now ?
Has me empty handed.
Putting all my time
& energy into this
Tornado I call love ..

IF I were her.
I’m speaking either
Of the ones I know of.
IF I WERE HER
We’d be ******* happy R.N
IF I WERE HER
You’d never tell me anything hurtful or disrespectful
IF I WERE HER
You’d show much love .
Although you weren’t raised to show affection , if I were her it’d come out of you naturally .
IF I WERE HER
You’d be so deeply in love with me. Do the cutest **** and do everything to keep and make me happy. You’d Go head over Heels.
IF I WERE HER
You’d do the impossible to get a smile on my face .
Surprise me and Gift me.
Think of me All the time and be sooo thought ful . Generous , amorous. Plenty of Adorable ****.
IF I WERE HER
You’d show me off to the world.
Present me to everyone that very second . You’d be such a gentlemen . I’d meet All your friends and everyone.
IF I WERE HER
You’d tell me How beautiful i am
Look at me in the way As the most goregeous and perfect thing you’ve ever seen.
IF I WERE HER
you wouldn’t look at other girls
Check others out
Talk or even think about another .
You would go behind my back and Flirt with others . Etc
IF I WERE HER
You wouldn’t avoid me
Ditch me , diss me, betray me
Hurt , break me.
IF I WERE HER
You’d Marry Me instantly .
You’d work your hardest to Move out with me.
You’d work sooo happily knowing it’s all for us.
IF I WERE HER
You’d think magically of me all the time . Do things to impress me , you’d cherish me so ****** much
IF WERE HER
You wouldn’t Make me feel sad.
If I cried , you’d do your best to cheer me up !
Your whole personality would change .youd take selfies with me.
IF I WERE HER
You’d think of wanting to move me out and care for me. Give me all my needs and Love me So much. Work hard to give me the bestest life and anything I wanted

SADLY I’m not her.
Which is why i suffer daily .
Why I’m always crying
Why your always Doing things to hurt me constantly

I’m not sure where I am.
Its all confusing,
So much is getting out of hand.
My thoughts , My feelings
My choices & Wants.
The actions I’ve taken  
Are Not connecting
Everything’s mixed up .

My minds in circles .
Its spinning
So so very fast .
Tugging from good to bad.
I feel so odd
Things feel so off .
I can’t make sense of
what’s going on.

Something is wrong .
though another thing is Trying to push me away from Seeing it

I... just
Don’t even know what to Write about Anymore.
Every poem have the same meaning just written differently.
I’m just so saddened
I don’t know how Els to explain how upset I feel at life.
I feel so sorry for myself

Inlove again.
.Magical crystals
I feel pleasure of feeling nothing.
im numbed.
My emotions & Thoughts
Have vanished.
I’m in love again .
No euphoria, just numbness.
Lovelit.

I’ve Forgotten .
The power Of escaping.
No longer caring .
It’s wonderful .
Refreshed my memory
On why I chose this over
Everybody.

My Hearts been broken .
The Pieces Of Glass
Will Recover it fast.
By Each puff I take
The smoke will cure
not only my heart but  
My sadness & pain.

I gave my love away.
I regret it so much.
I was Loving Someone
Who Just played & Betrayed.

I knew I should’ve stayed away.
Dopelove Baby
Is where it belonged.
Where it remains

I Relapsed.
I Am Not Going To Apologize..
I will Not Say Sorry.
i didn't let You down.
Don't feel Dissapointed or Angry.
I Did NOT FAIL YOU.
You don't have A Reason To Say "You let me down" or any phrase in that catargory .
Don't Try to Argue With me.
You did not play any roll in Helping me accomblish my 2 1/2 Year Sobriety.  
Do not attempt to lecture me.
I'm Not looking For Forgiviness.
I'm Hurting So Bad.
All I Want is Real love
Support , Comfort And a hug.
You Don't know what it's like.
All You See is "She did **** again"
There's A big Story to it.
Many emotions and Complications.
I'm struggling So Bad.
I just want happiness

iM Crushing
iSee Him
iWant Him
iFound Him
iLike Him
iM Shy
iTry To Converse
Instead i Compliment
Flirtatious Comments As He Walks Past Me
IReceive A Request
iTs Him, he Found Me
iS All This Meant to be?
We Begin to get closer
Know More about each other
different ways of communication
Never confronted
Video Games, Social Websites, Sibilings
Finally
A Number
We Start To Text One Another
Every Second Every Minute Every Day
iHardly Know About him
He Hardly knows about me
Might he be into me?
I think Everyday About it.
The more letters
iwrite
The more im becoming to like him
Hes Everything iWanted Since Middle school days
little did i guess
we'd become neighbors
was it fate
iM Crushing
iSee Him
iWant Him
iFound Him
iLike Him
iM Hurting
iM Heartbroken
iM Sad
continued...

iHave Your Mind
In Circles.
Stressed And Worried over me.
All Because of my disease
Yes I know its so unfair
That You Have to go through this
Through My Comedown And Rages iThrow All
Because of tweak.
Your Minds In Trama
Because Of what you know about my past
Feeling Tortured
Once i Spoke About the lies ive told you.
This Problem i Have Affected Us Too.
Its daily Thoughts & Doubts
Wether im really where i Say Im At
If il Pick Up Or if i used.
Instead Of Missing me And waiting till You See me
Having Thoughts Of Always Wanting to be with me
You Have the complete Opposite
Cause you dont know If you should believe me

Whats left of us.
What are we doing..
Where do we truly stand
in each other lives?
What meter is Our Respect & love
aiming towards?

We're scribbled.
we are clueless.
1s holding on in fear of loneliness.
The others Holding on in confusion
with what's best for them.


Whats best for us?
We Dot more reasons on why
we make each others life unhappy
than actually happy.

Are we avoiding the reality?
The reality of our love just
not capable of going forward?
The spark we once had died long ago..

What are we holding on to.