But your boyfriends feelings.
Have you not thought that You will Lose Him Due To Using ?
Have you not thought about how you’d make him feel and betray him? The heartbreak you will cause.
I have Thought, But He never Thought about How his actions would hurt my feelings. He’s never cared wether tears would run down my face . He’s always put his happiness above Mines.
Aslong as he’s having a good time He Has nothing to Care or worry about. Doesn’t mind me feeling hurt for that night doesn’t care or feel bad about how much and how long I stayed up crying.
He’s Triggered me To Relapse Anyways. & Still then Does he care more about his feelings rather than the ones He made feel Before relapsing.
If I go back To the old me, I’d forget about him anyway. I turn cold and heartless . He’d become extinct in my Addict memory. I Stop loving , I stop feeling and everything attached to that gets forgotten with it.

What's there to be Sober
Please tell me?
My heart is broken
I have nothing to look forward to.
Everything is crushed
My emotions Are all ******
Not because the drug
But The fact I opened up
In fear of Getting Mistreated
That's exactly what I received
Betrayal that can't be forgivin
I can't forget
it haunts me every day
I knew It wasn't right to give my Love away to some I thought was the one to stay ..
I Was deceased
My Love Was Harshly Torn apart. I don't understand?
I was always doing Great.
That was my last chance of happiness
A Chance of being loved mutually was the only cure to resolve my sick drug addiction .
It failed
I have nothing to look up to anymore.
God doesn't exist
I deserve a good life

How can You gain irritation and Hate for me so quickly?
Frustration & anger So Easy?
Yet, I've done nothing Serious.
But
When it comes to some other
You Don't fuss or bother.
You Connect as if nothing , forget the situation & you continue to be friends.
It's me you have an issue with.
Why? What have I done?
I can't do more for you..
Cause You barely Show me affection...
I'm mutual now
Equal/even For everything
I'm done being a Puppet
Done doing What You Want me To
Bye now
Go be happy with Your Thirsty dog friends. Don't lie about , within that same Week You'll be back to your ******* ways.
Thank you for everything you have done. I'm still here
Lonely just getting drugged up to **** me slowly .

I've started.
Help me before I quickly
adapt to this.
You must do it fast, ASAP.
Once I'm on,
il be hooked on.
It always happens ..
I can't do one.
I need to do 2 Then fein for all.
I hate it. It takes away all the misery, my heart feels painless.
Which is why I crave this.
To feel numb and not mind.
Be in my worst, lost in lines.
I still feel my emotions, But they are slowly disappearing.
When I high I can't feel the sadness but I can still think it.
I cry but my body won't let me which makes me horrified.
To see that this Drug prisons the real me and Releases a lifeless me.
It's ok
I'm beginning to like it.
It sadness me that I'm back on my old ways
. They assum I prefer drugs.
They Believe I like being this ****** Addict?
NO! I wish to be Sober and happy. Feel Reality and enjoy every breeze.
When I'm high I'm nobody.
I live in a fantasy of no emotions.
I'm hooked on Not feeling rather than dwelling on past memories.
This isn't what I want .
This is not the life I'd like to live.
I'm only using to Forget All my thoughts and Depression.

I’ve been contemplating
Wether to love or unlove
I’m not benefiting much
Iv been thinking on this for sometime now & you Havnt proved my feelings wrongs. You have changed . From hurting me every day to somedays to not so oftenly  but unexpectedly
I agree you are not the same but what you’ve done remains in my memory. I have so many unhealed cuts in my heart . I forgive but I don’t ever forget and constantly over think about the heartbreaks
I have cried more than I have smiled with you
You have betrayed me more than prove your love towards me
You helped me want sobriety
You helped me fight temptation and control myself from Relapsing.
You also helped me open a dangerous door in my life
You taught me a new way to avoid the tears you caused
Your negative actions sparked my brain
You made me cry one day
I called my connect
I collected my ****
I used to see if the tears went away
And they did.
My emotions went numb and I forgotten what you did
Only high have I forgiven you
Only high have I let go
In reality Nothings ever been ok
Thanks to **** I’ve made it this far
Thanks to crystal 41314 Turned into a special day
I’ve matured & Grown alittle Since I’ve been with you
I see more clear and I’m beginning to see what’s best for me
Maybe we weren’t meant to be forever but destined to change each other
I’m frightened to officially let go
I dedicated all my time and invested 6 Years Of my life on this boy
I allowed him into my temple and experienced first time intimacy
We created so much history to just turn it into ashes and believe it never existed
To act like we never met
And never loved each other till death did us part
To see what was once our everything Be forced to be seen as nothing.

I Relapsed & Now I'm worried.
Will I Go back to my old ways?
As much as I desire The Feeling of escaping my reality,
I can't live Like that. I don't want to be a drug addict all over again.
The Feeling Is pleasant . The Living of being 1 Is Horrific.

I’m sorry
I couldn’t Stay dedicated.
Couldn’t get off drugs completely.
I’m sorry
My Drug use impacted
My present with you.
That I couldn’t manage to Keep my problem just to myself.

Knowing What I became
Brings a lot of disgust to your face.
The last thing you ever imagined..
Was to end up with a druggie.
I’m sorry
You were cursed & Brought the opposite of what you desired.
I know I’m far off
Your Type & what your
attracted to.
Im so sorry.

I feel bad because
You never made yourself aware.
I wish to go back in time
& Explain to you What Being an addict was & How difficult I’d become Once I’d get sober.
How my mind won’t function accordingly, how much of a mess I turned into.
I wish to go back & Explain well to where you’d back off me.
You never Expected
That my problem was really going to be a big deal ..

I know You wish to have
Been Inlove with a previous girl.
I know you’d wish
Your 1st love turned out to be
The one you’d marry.
I’m so sorry you ended up
With A terrible downgrade.

I’m deeply sorry
For not being stronger.
I held strong Through all your insults & Hurtful things
You’d tell me,
I held strong when I
was just your toy
Being told
“we will never be anything”
I held strong through all the rain & thunder you put me through before we got together.

I assumed
Being your girlfriend
Would change Everything.
We’d start fresh & be
happily Inlove.

That’d I’d be able to let go
Of all the hurt & move on
Having a strong loving
bond with you.

We Then Got Together
I even committed to
forever leave drugs.
Because I was serious on making us work & leaving behind all things that Made us impossible.
A new chapter
Filled with smiles & laughter
A fresh start.

So I had thought.
Little Had I known
Getting together
Wasn’t the answer to
Anything.

Sunshine
Smile Lovely, Love Kindly
Appreciate Your Surroundings And Take Advantage
Of The Help And support your
Being Provided
Just Like You'd Bust A Sweat To Pick Up, Risk and do thrill things
You Should be
Able To Accomplish Positive Things Quick
With That Same Effort And energy You'd Put in.
iCan Do iT. iCan Be Positive And Overcome Every Fear and stop my negative actions.
Time to be sincere.

I Made it 2 Years Sober.
That's A miracle And such A blessing. I Did it on my own.
I managed To Fight Temptations.
I was able to control My Self.
I Can't believe it... I Never thought I'd actually Complete it.
Never seen myself Actually accomplish.
Sobriety, such a beautiful Thing.
I was Scared To Get Sober.
Now I'm Scared To use.
How Crazy is That?
Never once in my life did I See myself Stop. The plan Was To O.D And Happily die High.

I hope one day
He realizes .
That I didn’t do anything
To get broken hearted.
Recognizes how many times
He’s made me Cry .
Times I cut my wrists & Got high
Risking my life
To an actual death.
Why did he cause pain .
Even after expressing to him
How depressed I am.

It hurts
So **** much .
To be told to ****
When I have tear drops.
Never once has he made me feel ok & better .

My life ...
I hate it more than ever .
I cry so much more .
These tears are real
I’m so close to just giving my self to The Skies
I can’t bare this Sadness
Any longer .
Suicidal thoughts have been coming faster and staying longer.
When will I truly give in
To ending My life .

God , please hear me.
I’ve been Sad for so long .
Suicides been In my head since I was young .
I’m now older ‘
Alone In my thoughts
Im losing my mind.
I have nobody in this world
I’m hopeless
Many people have made recognize how worthless & pathetic
I truly am.


I’m hurt so hurt I can’t even explain anymore
God please listen,
I’m desperate to smile
To laugh , enjoy life.
I’m desperate for happiness
Please god i cry to you
Give me strength to change
up my life :(

I Feel Happy
Excited, Joyful, Energetic
I Feel Sad
Hopeless, Worthless, Useless
I Feel Mad
Angry, Hate, Violent
I Feel Nothing
Emotionless, Empty, Numb
I Feel All These At Once
All Mixed Together
Within Some Minutes Or Hours
They Change Without Me Wanting Them Too.
I Have Depression, I Am BiPolar
Im Also A Recovering
**** Addict
I Dont Like Dealing With All Of This
Its So Confusing
Frustrates Me
Makes My Life Complicated
Affects My Daily Living.
I Often Ask
Is My Life Worth Living?
Why Do i Have to Go Through All Of This, Why Can't I Just Enjoy Life Normally
Why Me?
:(

If I relapse.
Don’t feel hurt.
Don’t hate yourself or feel betrayed.
I relapsed to no longer feel the Pain I carry on every day.
A Lifetime Gift You gave me.
A broken heart.
If I relapse
It’s because I can’t bare to believe I really Experienced The relationship I feared.
If I Use
It’s because I’m so hurt I Gave You my all to get Tears in return.

iF iRelapse.
Baby Just Know, iOnly love You.
The Drug Will make me go Crazy & Lie Saying iLove iT
More Than You. My Slip Will Turn me Half Way Back To my
Old Ways.
Wicked Mentality & Heartless self, Numbed Out, Emotionless
Painless And Careless.
Nomatter the Relapse and reactions Ijust Want you to know
Il forever love you more.

I know I have relapsed many times after I got out.
But What if, I end up slipping just once again?
Will iT Be it? Will you Get Up
And Pack Your ****?
Or Will You Still Be Standing
Next to me
and help me get up and continue moving me forward.
Or Will You Just Give Up
And Let Me Go Deep further in my struggle.
What if I used, And Admitted it
Will You Look Angry
and say *******.
Or look disappointed
and say it's okay I still got you.
If I Used and told you
when I should have let you known before
Will You throw me to the curb
Or try to understand its not that easy to just stop myself with
Having impulsive behavior.
What would you do
if I walked up to you being honest about relapse.
Would you forget me
and Mark me absent.
Or Would You Forgive me
and give credit for not keeping it from you.
If I Told You I Got So Tempted ,
My Mind Just Couldn't take ****
and I felt urged
so I smoked.
Would You Look at me straight saying sorry I did as Much as I could take and disappear.
Or Would you stay
and help me figure out solutions to resolve my urge feel to using?

I love the way you ignore me.
I love it when you make me feel like I don't exist.
I love The way You Say You care
Although you are never there.
To hold me & make me feel better.
You Always say an excuse when it comes To comforting me.
"You push me away, You talk ****"
Yet it's so easy for You to
Disrespect & Diss me.
How Can You carry that heart.
How can you express it to someone who's done nothing but listen and Obey.
For you to take advantage and Betray.
You'll fall inlove again.
I know You will.
With new *****.
A cute Face & Nice body.
Will hypnotize you &
il Be easy to forget.
Farewell

I Can't Seem To Know How To Explain My Thoughts Well.
Im Misunderstood.
Im Feeling So Low Right now
The Person I Need
Can't Seem To Help Me Now
I Can't Turn to them
Because i disappointed them once again.
I Have nobody To Turn to now
&
My Loneliness Keeps Telling me i should..
Temptions Heavier Than Before
Arguments are My main
Trigger.
I Don't Want To go back to how i was before..
I Want Comfort
I Want To Feel Love, Someone to vent to
I Want Someone To Tell me im not a failure and everything will be alright :(

I love being high on ****
It doesn’t make me feel Great.
It doesn’t bring me happiness
It doesn’t make me smile & laugh
I don’t feel good on this drug.


I love being on one.
Because I don’t feel , I’m numb.
I love That I View life Differently.
My insecurities Go Away.
My appearance doesn’t matter
I walk happily.
I love that I don’t think about my sadness. I forget about all the sad **** that goes through my head.
I love that I don’t care about not having any accomplishments, I Don’t drive & Havnt graduated.


I love being high on this.
My relationship is Amazing.
I can be next to my lover & completely forget all the heartbreaks.
Everything ****** up I dealt with.

It does not make me feel
Happiness.
I feel happy that I don’t care about the reality of my life when I’m on .

I'm going to lose my life.
She's going To end it For me.
I'm Scared Now, what am I supposed to do?
I can't Run, She always finds me.
I'm Alone now.
Feeling Lonely And Hopeless.
That's what she feeds on
She leached on to me.

I'm Slowly fading.
The Dream Life is Nearing.
It's Feels So enlightening.
I know it's A trick.
It's feeding me Greatness.
So I grow more affectionate.
This is poisonous.
Im becoming unconscious
I'm losing Focus.
The demons Are Revealing
The devils approaching
My Mind is Spinning.
Feining for a quick fix.
To escape My reality.
Intoxicating me With Clouds That Are numbing me entirely.
I hate but love this.
Its Sad but I'm helpless
Dissapoiniting To Lose Yourself to A Substance.
not being able to find your way out
To have people Call You out
Telling You How Could You live Like that, such A shame you treat yourself to that. What A loss For A mother . How heart breaking
to see her baby give out to such a sick thing. To Not Bother caring About the life given.
You People Don't See it.
It's become a
disease To our bodies.
Yes, we thought processed and Did all Actions.
Our intentions Were not to become addicts. We did not make a commitment to Forever Be Addicted.
We were mislead, tricked & Weakened.
It was all unpredicted.
We got lovely  pulled close.
to then Be in a huge Tangle.
I don't want to live
Think , act or chose this Road.
The devil exists.
I gave it my soul
for something so poor.

How can you believe
I’m happy  on one.
I Can’t laugh. I have no humor
Nothing interests me
My surroundings
don’t Currently exist.
What makes me happy
won’t impress me.
What I like won’t interest me .
I wish it was as easy as you view
I wish I had that mind set,
The way you tell me to just quit.
I wish I could forget all about it
like you insist.
Walk away from from my troubles
Move on from the past
& live for better .
You don’t see anything that’s interfering from letting go.
It’s just drugs, stop wanting it.
Stop thinking about it
Act like it was Never existent .
So easy the words float through u
I wish it was like that for me too.
Sadly it’s not Baby ..
I’m so sorry i can’t make it simple
I'm Unhappy When I'm sober.
I'm Unhappy On Drugs
I Feel Down Either Way.
1. I Feel The Reality Of Misery.
The emotions & thoughts That Run Through me.
2. All problems Are gone, I feel none. But I'm Struggling To Stay On.
Both Are Unhealthy, 1 is more deadly. & death is ok With me.

I’m Down.
Il take all the risks now.
Lose that love For A Pound.
I’m tired of All this ****.
Back & fourth Arguing  
non stop B.s
I’m Really For it now.
I can’t take this useless life of mine
Doing nothing but wasting time.
**** it **** it
Yeah I’m All for it.
Take The risks that dope life brings
I’ve had enough
I hate sobriety
Dope love Baby , come save me
Oh your mad?
I don’t give a ****
I feel no pitty when I’m on
**** your feelings cause Il be gone
Had 6 years To Show me What you promised. Instead you constantly failed Me and showed Me Your just so ****** disloyal & Not Honest!
Rehab Can’t cure me.
Il turn to the razor.
It’s not Drugs I want
It now death i crave

iFeel Guilty When iBuy This **** Now.
Im ******* up, im Truly Sorry
To All My loved ones
Who im letting down again. And instead of Stopping
The minute it gets to me?
Im Thinking
Of how getting my next fix.
iTs Disappointing
Iknow, but iLove iT!

I’m here.
Surrounded by demons.
I no longer fear.
I’ve given myself to them.
The whispers became clear
The voices are now real.
Who’s better to love ?
A chemical of course .
So Toxic But So pure.
Who’d I choose now?
I’ve chosen he
Who Treats me better
Who’s proven
Dope? Is more powerful.
Hope? Is not promisble.
The devil offered a  deal.

To walk with him
Once again ,
To join his pack
Only pleasure & never pain.
Opening my eyes
How I’ve only felt misery
Sadness & Heart breaks
In this so called
“Real life”

iN & Out Of Rehab
       iRelapse
Then Collapse
iNever
        Commited To Sober Living So Why Are People Tripping?
     Drug Programs
Are A Waste According To My Case.
        im Never  Going to Stop
 unless i O.D And Drop
But Even iN Heaven Thats iF iRise.
            With the Angel
imma Continue Tweaking Cause iM A ****** Tweaker
     Or iN Hell With Fallen Angels.
It'll Be Better,
       Since iSold My Soul To The Devil.
He Never Asked
iJust Gave iT Up.
iFell iN Love With A stimulant Drug made up Of Chemicals ****** Poison But idgaf il Keep Dosing.  
 Went From Snorting To Smoking
    Methamphetamine
iLet iT Get The Best Of Me.

Part 2
Out & iN
2014 iTs Krazie
iM Back To This Dope ****.
Its been Already 4 years and
Im still Addicted.
In & Out
Of Rehabs, Different Drug Programs and Sad That iStill
Havnt learned ****.
Got Out November 19 2014 For The 3rd Time
And im Still Twisting, Getting Lit
Ilove Living Twisted
Im on a comedown
Im irrated right now wanting to take
Another hit.

I Don’t Want to let go.
My 1st Everything
Will be my only I say.
I want no other.
I dedicated my all to 1.
Will birth a child from this love.
I want no one Els.
My pride was high.
I don’t want to go around finding a different lover .
——
Your first Will be so memorable!
I keep feeling Hurt that my 1st did not feel meaningful or magical.
I hurt that I won’t feel
What others have
For there 1st
Touch of love.
I stopped dwelling on that.
I realized that I too can have a great memory too .
In the future
I may come across some one
Who will give me the kiss I lust for.
Show me affection & love me
Like I seen in movies .
I may come across some one who will make me feel secure and happy with my body.
Whom won’t criticize judge & only point of the beautiful aspects they see in me.
I may come across someone who will make love to me the way I wished my 1st time would be.
Whom I can fully feel confident to undress and be myself because they never made me feel low about myself.
I may come across some one that treats me the way I deserve to.
Where we have trust & believe in eachother.
I have hope for another chance at love. Not now, in the future I look forward to finding true love.
Someone I can feel safe, happy, loved , wanted, respected & thought of (:

When Tweaks In me
I see things differently.
I’m not myself, I’m nobody
When crystal reaches my blood stream , all I see are reasons to keep on using.
When I’m on this drug
The only things I see is negativity
Reasons to convince me to stay on one
When I’m lit
I think of things that hurt me.
I do a line but I don’t feel fine
I Grow rage of furry .
Which change me.
I have Hate that gives me new traits.
I turn ruthless
I can’t feel joy but I care less
What makes  being high Amazing
Is being able to face the ones who hurt me & not care or acknowledge how they affected me.
Forgetting there existence.
I'm Testing Sobriety.
I'm on A comedown  
& I'm Wondering.
If it's Really worth Stoping.
Is it Reality or drugs That's ******* With Me.
Which Is The Real Threat?
Living lfe or Avoiding it.
Dealing Or Numbing.
What gives me Better outcomes?
Either way I'm Slowly Dying.
From A broken heart or substance
It's Turned into A game.
I'm Eager for You to do me foul..
My Sobriety relies On You now.
Why Cry And hurt.
When I can Level up.
You Say Your working on changing.
You continue Doing Ghost ****.
I found My solution .
To Forgive You , Forget and feel happy.

The Day Ends
Like all others.
We Go back to normal lovers.
Forgetting the insults
thrown At eachother .
Not this time .
I Havnt forgotten.
My feelings still flow the same.
Sickened & saddened.
I need to Leave .

It’s been clear for years
There’s no happiness here for me.

I'm Not on.
Baby Sorry, I'm On 2.
I can't stop now

I Can Hear Her calling.
She Senses My unhappiness.
She can feel My Misery.
She Used To Come Right over. Now, She doesn't have the power.
What she does is try to convince me From a distance.
She tells me Amazing Things.
She Reminds me of the good times We had and how good it felt.
Her words are powerful.
The more I listen, closer she gets.
Although She's very lovable And The bestest Friend you can have .
She's extremely evil.
She Slowly Tricks me into Letting her get closer To me.
I Now have control over that.
Back then i didn't.
As Soon as she called, I followed.
I Worked so hard to Not Be Able To Say yes And Hold back from playing with her Now.
But lately....
She's been Coming around more frequently . She tells me Everything I want to hear and It's becoming harder for me to Not listen. She's very smart .
For That reason, I'm worried.
I feel So unsure.
Do I relapse Or do I let it go ?
I've been Clean for 2yrs.
I did it on my own. Thankfully.
She Asks me If I'm sober, Then why am I still unhappy?
she Tells Me What's The point of being Sober And yet still sad ?
She reminds Me of the Satisfying feelings She Provides.
She Tells me "Why be Unhappy and Sober. When You can be Unhappy but feel amazing"
I have been feeling So tempted Lately. These arguments With my Bf Are Making me want to give up. they are giving me strong temptations. I can feel My Mind Weaken ..

I Loved You For So Long.
The loves been Tough.
I don’t blame You For The Past.
You Were Doing You
& I was dumb.
You Said many harsh Things
I was Stupid agreed and stayed on.
You made it clear You don’t Care about me
Or will ever want a future.
I still Followed You With My Crushed Heart.
I Seen Your Ways ,
I cried But still stayed.
I seen You liked to play games, witnessing all I Remained Your
#1 cheerleader
& Cheering You On.
Knowing I Wasn’t the only one
, I still Dragged my Broken heart Where ever You Gone.
It’s not your fault,
It’s mine
For still Walking behind you knowing That All the texts about being the only girl as your friend was a lie.
Every sweet thing you told me have already been Said to those before me.
I Should have left and not
chased on .
My fear Of never loving was displaying live Everyday.
I’m the stupid one for believing you’d be faithful and change.
When I witnessed the Cheater.
I Witnessed Your games.
I Decided to Dedicate All my time to you.
Knowing it was not mutual.
Everything I Experienced in our relationship
I Should have been known.
I should have been Guessed I was just going to get my heart broken. You destroyed me as friends.
Fool to believe Becoming your gf was Going To Stop my Doubts .
It all worsen. I let it happen.
I seen your characteristics before hand. I’m the biggest fool.
I’m always hurting because you still don’t stop hurting me.
What a fool of me to Always
Feel Unhappy.
When i already known what I was getting myself into .
It’s my fault I’m more miserable. Everyday I wait on your next
“I’m sorry babe” text.
How silly of me.

You Hear Sobriety
People assume its Automatic Happiness.
Its Not Easy, im off drugs but i Don't know me.
Im Not Motivated, im not happy.
I Feel Confusion.
Getting high made Me forget How to live life .
My Mind Dosnt Function right.
& it *****.
I know Nothing About Myself
Anymore.
I Find it sad.
I Don't Know Where i Stand in life
I Wake Up every day just thinking when.. When Will the day that i actually know myself come.
Because once it dose i just know my life will be easier.
Right now?
Im living life miserable.
Becoming sober isn't simple.
hell lot of frustration towards the people helping me.

I Want To bleed Out..
Why, Why couldn't it be true.
Y Couldn't you stay true
I'm still Inlove with us
All I Wanted was trust
I'm so saddened
I feel so lost
Not because of the drug
The facts That I believed in you
When it was lust you viewed
My hearts now broken
A feeling I wished to never be a victim too.
How i wish my imaginations were true. How I wish my dreams of You Were True.
You Were the one
I gave myself to you before you made me your 1.
I'm devastated
Not even the drug could cure it
My pain is so Deep
I've never felt this weak
I'm hurting more
Than I've hurt Before
I'm Wanting Nothing
But To Be free
Not from drugs, from misery
I want to bleed out & leave
What's the point in living?
You killed me
Nomore Chances, no more excuses
I suffered 4 years
Tortured with all your *******
It's so funny ...
How you still want to place yourself in a position where Your the one hurting ..
There is no more sorrys
No apology can ever fix me
You've accomplished
The days of pleasure & company
For your self
Your self centered ****** self
Never once hugged me
When I was crying & suffering
Never there for me
When I needed you the most
"the past , it was the past "
You continued Throughout the years. You never stoped hurting me. You still do till this day.
If you really cared? Then why tf is my heart now broken !!

My Addiction iS Silent
Mnd Dragging
Its become swollen, overthinking about the Little ****.
The Little voices in my mind arnt making me feel Fine.
Im Trying To Drag Myself towards Sobriety
But my brain and working buddys Are Leading me back to
The stimulant
That makes it feel better
Ineed to settle.

Im A fool.
I Dedicated my life
To some one Who Never showed me a reason Why.
I Gave Up My life
To A person Who Didn’t ever make me feel alive.

I Gave myself To Some one Who wasn’t meant for me.
I Lured A person who was clear they were never going to make me feel Like in movies.

I was Giving
My Kindness to someone
Who never was kind .
I Was Giving the best of me to a person who just
constantly hurt me.

I Chose Their Comfort & Wellness .
To someone who didn’t care if I was uncomfortable.
As long as they were.
But they checked to make Sure others were settled ok ..

I always have time for them. Even if I’m busy , I make time. I’m always available for their presence & Look forward to whatever they want to do .
Because they are important to me & I want them to see.
I’m There For whatever.

For someone who’s Always tired , Stressed , has no time , Too busy When it Comes To me.
My interests are always rejected.  They then get Angry Telling me I don’t care or understand how tired they are from working so hard all day. Who call me selfish for not thinking about them and things they do. I Can’t conversate with them because they want to sleep .

I Showed my Sweetest image to impress someone who never made me feel Worthy Of anything.

I Gave all my time to someone who Gave me Left over time.
I put Him first
When I was Put last.
I canceled my plans To spend time when he Wanted.
I was His last choice when he’s plans got canceled.

He pleased people
Never Mattered to please me.
He chose others feelings
Never caring if it hurt mines.
Gave attention to others
Making sure to stay in good terms.
Never payed attention to my Overall Happiness or cared to know if I was good ...

I stay home all day
Waiting to see him .
I have to cancel invitations if not he accuses me of never thinking of him.


He Works all day.
If Something pops I’m ditched without notice.
He goes m.i.a
When he pleases
He never explains his disappearance.

I Aruge over hurtful actions he’s caused. To him it’s nonstop **** talking. Always ignored , Left Unsolved.
My feelings remain hurt .

He argues over Me Constantly Bringing **** up.
Saying he feels hurt because I constantly run my mouth .
Refers me as so ******
Because I can’t let his betrayal go .
I’m forced to change.
From making him feel angry
To Pleasing him to be happy again.