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 Dec 2015 Pastell dichter
IcySky
Christmas time again,
Time for joy, and time for love.
Time for peace, and time for a holiday feast.
Tis the season.

But...
For me, it's time for...
heartache, and depression.
Time for brokenness, and hopelessness.

Family troubles, money tight,
frustration, crying...
it's all the same...
Christmas isn't a movie for me.

Filled with memories,
from Christmas past,
trying to forget,
yet here it is again...

Every year we try,
and maybe we'll get it right,
maybe, it'll be ok...
maybe... It'll finally be Christmas to me.
I've missed you, old friend.
I thought I had lost you forever,
And I didn't know what to do.
But now I have found you once more,
And we'll carve beautiful poetry
Without any words.
Darling please don't leave my side,
For night is drawing near,
And I've nowhere to hide.

My demons are coming out to play.

They come out slowly, one by one,
And play until the rising sun.
You see, they dance, dance, dance,
Leaving me in a morbid trance.
You see, they sing, sing, sing,
Until I lose control of my breathing.

They push, push, push.
And they shove, shove, shove,
And they scream, scream, scream,
Until they get bored and leave.

They come again with blades
And soothing words
"This will help"
"It'll all be over soon"
Then they cut, cut, cut
Until they've had enough.
Then they kiss away my tears
And say "sleep tight"
"We'll be back tomorrow night"
I fall more in love with you every day
          You can trust me when I say
                    I wouldn't have it any other way
I thought each breath would be his last
As we stared in silent apprehension,
Willing the tears to leave
As his breaths grew more and more shallow
And further and further apart
Until I stroked his mangy coat for one last time
And he released his last strangled breath.
*Is this what it's like to die?
Bye Whitey Ford, it was nice knowing you and I hope you're suffering has ended
Incense and candle wax
Roaches and hookah haze
**** my panic attacks
Numb me into a daze

Guitar strings and piano keys
Gentle breeze and rustling trees
Whispering secrets to my soul
Filling the void patching the hole

Skinny jeans and baggy shirts
Long hair and gentle skin
It heals all of my hurt
The environment I am safe in

Your eyes and soft subtle smile
Content to just stay for awhile
Let my fingertips dance along your arms
Unaware of notifications and ringing alarms

This is my Heaven my Nirvana
My heart talking not the marijuana
You are my drug without the crash
Each passing moment gone in a flash

With you every second is a lifetime
Each one worth repeating
These are simple lines put in rhyme
I just want to feel your heart beating
Again feeling silly writing about a girl.
I ran out of tears to cry
So I cried my blood
I'm sorry
Back against the wall, lights off, door locked and Black Veil Brides blasting through the stereo.

It's just a empty room right?

Wrong look in the corner, no not the one with the light, the one where it's pitch black.

Now look closely do you see her, the girl who's all alone.

No?

Then pay closer attention, her head is burried in between her knee's and her body's violently shaking from the sobs that betray her.

Shes crying from the pain .

Pain she's endured for so long.

Its gotten to her.

The words they spit at her, the looks of disqueste, the fights with her parents that seem to be getting worse.

She doesn't know what to do anymore she's tried it all drugs,self harm,music,writing!

Anything that might stop or at least help the pain she feels.

The girl lifts her head and stares at the ground next to her.

To the right of her is a razor and to the left is a rope.

She grabs the razor and runs it across her leg.

Its deep, the cut, deeper than the rest.

She wipes some of the blood on her hand and writes on the wall.

IM SORRY IM USELESS

Now with tears running down her face she grabs the rope and ties it to the ceiling fan.

She steps on a chair and slowly puts the rope around her neck.

She wipes her eyes and whispers I'm  sorry before stepping off the chair.
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