The scars on my wrists are fading.
I hope they don't return.

hiding from the ones that would do us harm
stealing quick kisses when there backs are turned
hoping they will not see the way we glance at each other.

hiding from our parents
scared of what they would say.
of what they would think.
of how they would react.

hiding in the dark
warm kisses when we are alone
the quickening of breath when someone walks by the door
the rushed attempt to calm our racing hearts.

hiding the hurt
I feel when I can't see you.
or when I found out about he pain
you where hiding from me

hiding the tears I want to shed
because I want to tell my mother but
her words hang over my head like a dark cloud
"if you where in love with someone" she said.
"I would never let you spend the night at there house and vice versa".

and so I hide in tell I know
I'm strong enough to tell her
in tell We are  strong enough to tell Them.

Chaste kisses
Behind their backs.

A wild attempt
To be alone together.

Grabbing your hand
As we walk out to our safe place.

Finding solace
In each other's company.

A constant reminder:
You are loved. You are strong.

Sad smiles faintly spread
Across tired faces.

And the purest of smiles
Perfectly poised like a dancer

As words shake themselves free
Of our lips and tongues.

Pure happiness
That comes and goes

Like the tide.
I love you

your dark is so different than mine
mine is welcoming and safe
my dark is home
you said once that you are afraid of your dark
and what it lets you do to your self
I hate that I can't wrap you up in my dark
and hold you,
safe and warm

what if your guardian angel is actually your soul mate that died before they could meet you?
Some times just before you fall asleep that feeling you have like you are safe and warm,
its your soul mate giving you a goodnight kiss
and tucking you in
whispering in your ear how much they love you
and to sleep well and
they will see you in the morning
and when you wake up they are right there with you
helping you thru the day
holding your hand as you walk down the street and going out to lunch with you and your friends.
Imagine you decide to stay in that night and they smile and laugh because they have you all to them selfs.

Or when you are sad curled up on the bathroom floor they are sitting next to you telling you not to cry that every thing will be okay.
How do you think they would feel if you cut your wrists or your leg, think of how they would feel not being able to hold you and for you to hear them say that its okay to not be okay and they are here for you,
that even tho you are down now you will get better that life has its ups and downs and you will be okay.

How do you think they would feel if you where standing on the edge of a bridge at an open window,
or with a knife in you hand ready to open you veins and poor out your blood,
think of how they would feel,

what if they where standing next to you yelling at you begging for you not to jump
to put the knife down
and fight just so you will see the world as they never could.
Because even tho you would be together in death
they want for you to live
for you to have the opportunity to love another
to see and do all that you want.
Because life is short and you would have all of your after life to fall in love with them.    -HBN