Sam - Hello Poetry

Sam Nov 2018

First California
Next the whole world
The fires grow stronger and stronger
Every single day
Fueling us with as much fear
As we have fueled the fire with oxygen
The world is rottin anyway
Maybe it’s good that we burn
Maybe that’s what we must do
To restore the earth to its former state
We must wipe ourselves out
In order to come back better
Or maybe we shouldn’t come back at all
Maybe we should die
And stay dead
Cause, considering everything happening,
On these horrible days of earth
The human race really does ****

Ugh the whole fire thing started off making me nervous. But now I’m just angry.

#human #race #fire #california

Oct 2018

empty seas

control + alt + delete

i went through
every poem
about her
and made them
disappear

maybe now
it'll be easier
to feel better
to feel free

i have no more poems
about the good times
for the bad times
outweighed them

i feel freer
although i am sad
my most popular poem
is gone

it is for the best
i am freer

if you noticed my number of poems drop down randomly in the past two days, that is because i deleted all my poems about my manipulative ex
i was going to leave them up as a testament to our time together (unsurprisingly, a lot of those poems were actually quite negative). I am usually unafraid of the past but my poems about her made me cringe whenever I saw them. I deleted them to make me feel better.

#ex #gone #free

Sam Oct 2018

the couch

Sometimes I try my best to avoid sleeping in my room.
I think it’s because I’m afraid that if I sleep in my bed, I’ll never want to get up.
And then I’ll slowly **** myself.
In a heap of my own depression and self comfort.
So I sleep on the couch.
Because it’s just not as comfortable.
So then I won’t want to die as fast.

This probably makes no sense.

#depression #sleep

Oct 2018

empty seas

close friends

i can never seem to keep close friends
they come and go
almost as fast as possible
so i latch on where i can
taking things faster than necessary

i just want to be loved
but no one ever loves me for long

i want a hug...
i just don’t think im a good person anymore
people who said they loved me and cared about me always leave, even when they promise
I just want a consistent friendship for once, but i don’t think anyone will ever like me enough for that to happen

#friendship #loneliness

Sam Oct 2018

happiness, or sadness

You stare at me in fear,
Is that my happiness or my tears?

#happiness #sadness

Sam Oct 2018

lost boy

I am a lost boy
From neverland
Was always so sure of
Who I am

But one day
That all went down hill
Because I completely lost
My will to live

“Who are you lost boy?”
They say to me
“I don’t know anymore...”
They hear me say

But neverland is home
To lost boys like me
And lost boys like me
Are free

Until I understand
Who I really am
I will just try
And be me

I was trying to do a sort of remake of the Lost Boy song. I’ve been feeling lost as a person lately and I’m just trying to do what I can to get happy. Enjoy, I guess ?

#lost #boy #crisis #im #trying

Oct 2018

empty seas

me myself and i

i’m trying to be better
a better leader
a better friend
a better student
a better person
and it’s hard
every step feels like dragging my feet through syrup
but i can feel improvement

i am starting to love myself
to love the way my mind
finds comfort in learning
to love the way
i’m good at things

i feel more free now
no longer someone’s crutch
but now i feel a solid future under my feet
instead of constantly being pushed down

i’m not quite happy yet
not as happy as i was
ignorant happiness is hard to beat
some days i crave intimacy
but i am not a dependent person
and i will wait until i’m better before pursuing someone else
it’s the right choice

being independent is something I’ve been priding myself on more recently
It just feels so nice to not be someone’s crutch for once, it’s like I can finally breathe, I’m really trying to use this to better myself though
A lot of people I know when they’re upset they just give up and never try to make things better and I’ve been desperately trying to avoid that
Anyway
Weird rant over

#selflove #better #happy