Sam - Hello Poetry

Sam Sep 2018

I
Am
Over
Being
Your
Little
*******
*****

You are the current source of my
p a i n

The one who makes me want to
q u i t

You make me want to pack up and
l e a v e

Maybe one day I will so I can stop being a
b u r d e n

You
Can
Not
Control
Everyone’s
Mother
*******
Life

Excuse my language but you really do
s u c k

Why does it make you happy to see me in
p a i n ?

You can’t handle being told that you are
b a d a t s o m e t h i n g

That’s why you choose to do the same to
m e

Because
You
Love
To
Be
A
Toxic
*****

Sorry I curse a l o t in this, but I had to express my pain.

#toxic #section #leader

Sam Sep 2018

car crash

I almost got into a car crash tonight.
Not the kind of almost that you would notice.
It was the kind that I think of over and over.
That I could **** myself.
Right then and there.
I was going to do it too.
Because it’s better than feeling.
I feel
Sad
Depressed
Anxious
Scared
Tired
Unmotivated
Unwanted
Unneeded
Unnecessary

Woah

That’s a lot
I didn’t even realize how bad I feel until just now.

But I’m fine
No
Really I’m fine.

Don’t ask me what’s wrong
The answer is obvious
But it’s also so incredibly hidden
That even I don’t know.

I have a good life
Even though it’s toxic.

I have good friends
Even though I’m a burden to them.

Maybe I should rethink that car crash

Maybe I shouldn’t have thought about how hurt my loved ones would be.

They’re always ruining my suicide.

The way they love me
The way they care about me
It’s so annoying.

I wish they would make it easier for me and just stop caring.

I know I’m loved by some people
I can tell

But that doesn’t mean that I’m loved by myself.

I’m so unhappy right now.

But I’m fine.

Idk what this is supposed to be. It was going to be a vent but I think I’ll make that into a separate one.

#car #crash

Sam Sep 2018

Trees in the wind

I love watching the trees flow
When the wind takes them

I love listening to the sound of the leaves
When the wind picks up stronger, stronger

I love to see the trees move
As the wind continues to grow stronger, louder

I love the way the tree next to my house
Seems to get more and more closer to my room

I love to think about how any day, the tree could blow over and **** me.

I love to dream of the day something terrible takes my life.

I love to replace the word “love” with the word “fear”

Sep 2018

Greg

Steps

My
mind
hurting
burning
pleading for retreat.

My
soul,
shrinking,
shrieking,
hungry for revenge.

Nothing helps.
nothing can please.
angry, wrathful
we will never be released.

Sep 2018

Beaux

If I Die in a School Shooting

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone.

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundreds
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.

The state of Florida is now home to the two most deadly mass shootings in American history. Pulse Nightclub was attacked in my city, I have friends who attend Marjory Stoneman Douglas in Parkland. My little sister often fears going to school. I'm afraid to graduate and leave her. I want to be able to protect her if something happens. I hate that we have a reason to be afraid... That it's reasonable to have these fears. I hate it so f*cking much.

#schoolshooting #shooting #fear #sister #parkland #andy #angry #emotional #death #pain

Sam Sep 2018

Remember where you came from

You started in one place
And now you act like you want us to “burn”
Those are your exact words.
“Burn”
Remember where you ******* came from
Because we didn’t do anything to deserve this
Remember where you came from
Because one day, you might come back
And we will all have know what you said
And we will all show no friendship
You try to make an enemy of us
But we have more class
So don’t try to act like you’re amazing
When the next second you’re telling people how ****** you feel because you don’t get your way
I see right through you

Remember where you came from, kid.