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Oct 2018
i’m trying to be better
a better leader
a better friend
a better student
a better person
and it’s hard
every step feels like dragging my feet through syrup
but i can feel improvement

i am starting to love myself
to love the way my mind
finds comfort in learning
to love the way
i’m good at things

i feel more free now
no longer someone’s crutch
but now i feel a solid future under my feet
instead of constantly being pushed down

i’m not quite happy yet
not as happy as i was
ignorant happiness is hard to beat
some days i crave intimacy
but i am not a dependent person
and i will wait until i’m better before pursuing someone else
it’s the right choice
being independent is something I’ve been priding myself on more recently
It just feels so nice to not be someone’s crutch for once, it’s like I can finally breathe, I’m really trying to use this to better myself though
A lot of people I know when they’re upset they just give up and never try to make things better and I’ve been desperately trying to avoid that
Weird rant over
empty seas
Written by
empty seas  15/F/away
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