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Dec 2017 · 367
answers.
Nola Swan Dec 2017
i look for confidence in myself
in you
i believe you have the power
to lift me up or throw me down
i have never once
questioned where that power came from
-“recognizing my power”
Dec 2017 · 316
broken locks
Nola Swan Dec 2017
I broke myself for you
Gave away half of myself
For a whole you.
Dec 2017 · 416
11:28
Nola Swan Dec 2017
We are constantly put into a position that makes time relative.
Forced to face the future every step of the way.
Every current thought clouded with the judgment of the future.
How will this affect my future?
What will this decision in this moment be in the future?
That is why we envy those carefree spirits.
Who only base their decisions on this pseudo principle
We call the present.
We taunt them and their “reckless” behavior
As thoughts like theirs have no place in this world
Which refuses to see the beauty in a place where time seems to stop.
Their actions do not crave the approval of the future they crave the
excitement of the present which we ignore to the point  
we don't even speak of her.
It is as if she fails to exist on this plane that we are currently in.
When the future holds no promise what is it that drives us towards it
Why do we long to be there?
While refusing to acknowledge that we are the small dialogue between the past and future.
The only this that can be actually accounted for in this moment.
Where time is but a unit of measurement used to guide you.
To make you forget.
Life is happening to you right now
In the present
With you as the placeholder.
You are the person who winds the clock
So why do we kneel to it every day?
Constantly moving forward helps one forget the struggles of right now.
Having one's mind pressed on the future allows for the pains of the
present to fade.
Jul 2017 · 257
perception.
Nola Swan Jul 2017
playing games with these things
creating perfect images
of me.
this body such a fickle object
a sight to be seen
hey even the moon has her seams.
but continues to shine bright
as any star ive ever seen.
but judgement is the only energy
that is passing.
when you look at me
what exactly are you examining?
there are literally 1,000,000 women
whom as beautiful as me.
at this rate you'll spend your whole life
looking up to
Queens.
which is fine with me.
Jul 2017 · 457
searching.
Nola Swan Jul 2017
searching for the words to say.
you know those
that chase thoughts away
that force the confidence
that I have in these words
to dissipate.
I love you.
seems so easy.
but in the past have been the catalyst
causing the whole thing to go aray.
those words which carry so much depth
yet hold not enough weight.
to convey what I'm actually trying to say.
I love you.
but I don't mean it that way.
your thoughts
your being
the way your hips sway
all have broken the walls I have built
until this day.
I love you.
but makes the words so hard to say
to your face.
Jul 2017 · 299
loving you.
Nola Swan Jul 2017
i do not need you as half of me.
you cannot exist as part of
my entire being.
on this small planet
in this huge place.
you must be a whole version
of yourself.
and me of mine.
for us intertwine
to create something
to disrupt space
on our time.
Jul 2017 · 725
selfish.
Nola Swan Jul 2017
let's imagine a time when I hated this skin I'm in.
way before ink ever flowed through this pen.
when I was never proud to be told I was
Tanio Indian.
the blacker the berry
the sweeter the juice.
no the blacker your skin the closer to your roots,
and the further black people
will stray away from you.
you'll be called names
that would break even the strongest
to their delight.
you can be beautiful
with long hair.
but their not even aware.
chasing another girl with black skin
yet more fair.
now I'm standing in the store searching though the creams
yes guys.
young black girls do these things.
mom calling your phone,
but your not done
looking.
for the one that works
as the mirror stares at you,
hoping your wishes come true.
turn this dark skin into something
more pleasing for you.
unaware of the tears
that are always there
clouding your vision.
so you can never see the truth
that you are the most beautiful of the two
Brown Queens
this is for you
sometimes you are the only smudge in the room.
we are ignored, chastised, and cast aside
for most of our young lives
until you wake up on your own and realize
those pictures on your phone don't represent women like YOU
women with the perfect hue
never a blemish or imperfection
could ever be seen by the likes of you
and you finally understand the attention
was always on you
veiled by insults you couldn't see through
little brown girls with curly hair
you matter and your skin does too.
that was something I could never tell myself
but then again I had no help from young women like myself
cause most of them wishing they was Gina
we still don't get what that representation means
how Pam had a connection to queens.
but how auspicious they've made the cover up
it never really had quality
but means to further divide our people away from black equality.
Jul 2017 · 383
her.
Nola Swan Jul 2017
what's between her legs has always demanded attention.
but spoken from her lips
she dare not mention.
the glory that is boasted
about women so divine.
from your place or mine.
always seems to drip from the lips of
MANkind.
the secrets you expect for her to keep
will always amount to us suffering.
oh how easy it becomes to single
them out,
make her weak.
turn them into the prey
we love worshipping.
Jul 2017 · 323
you can have it.
Nola Swan Jul 2017
when we tell them.
i will have to be the one to explain
a story so insane.
ill explain it wasn't love at first sight
my heart beating against  
all my might.
i have already known you.
you are a reflection of myself.
how could you know this,
when you've never known her?
you can always recognize your own energy.
you always know
the sound of your own drum.
i was drawn to an energy
the  same as mine.
but opposite all aligned.
an aura without a place in this time.
something about her reminded
me of mine.
something about her reminded
me of the me i left behind.
before life changed
the beat my drum made
at one time.
Jul 2017 · 2.6k
moonlight.
Nola Swan Jul 2017
these tears drown me
as i stare at the screen.
the hearts of young Africans
still suffering.
they drown me into a harbor of guilt
be careful don't let those tears spill.
see we only care
when were forced to be aware
eyes stare st the screen.
*** does this mean.
hide yourself.
**** a gun.
living life this way.
fathers telling the world your not his sun.
girl you over here drowning,
creating rivers and streams.
claiming you know what being black means.
until the son goes down and you hear
about all these Black Men
Red Districting.
now you joining a fight
that barely has a side.
with way more history
involving you nor i.
whatever you say this is my life.
my choice, my party.
i can sit here and cry.
and deny, deny, deny.
while our brothers are being killed.
by ourselves more than them.
they don't view us as equal
and im not talking about them.
so girl play your part.
speak your mind
so that it looks like you fought.
for our brothers and sisters
who can no longer fight for themselves.
because our black people
tied their hands behind their back,
as they fell into wells.
of despair.
miseducation.
because in this world
as a gay
black man.
your just a beast with no nation.
Jul 2017 · 171
in the beginning
Nola Swan Jul 2017
fine.
i'll open me up.
take a glimpse before the doors close.
fear not if you did not make it,
come back...leave a note
there's nothing here to be sold.
only sights to behold.
stories written on walls
now smeared.
dead and gone,
became memories not fond enough to be sung.
these memories
stanzas
that frequently get out of hand.
as I build these castles on dry sand
knowing they'll slip away.
only when time has her say.
this I rely on to keep forgotten memories away.
so just know when you come,
prepare for pure bliss.
love is abundant
and this place you will miss.
your mind will remenise
on how to obtain
happiness just like this.

— The End —