After the 24th revolution of the longhand
on the clock, the radio plays bossa nova jazz
all night and me, I sit awake in an empty
studio replaying the day in my head as I

row alone across the lake of my notebook
as some now-deceased artist sings about
a 17-year old girl living on Montenegro St.
as beads of moonlight drip from the blade

of the paddle back into the lake as my arms
push and pull and push and pause mid-row
to catch the rhythm and blues of solitude.

Melancholy


This land of soft stones and olive trees
Welcomes me,

But I dream of Nordic earth with
Frost and obstinate granite.

And I ask myself, why is it so difficult
For me to forget you?

Dear society,

Don't tell me how I should think,
Feel,
Act,
Or look
I'm not a reflection of your perception
And I won't ever be

You can't decide someone elses identity,
personality or style
It's their own to define
Don't take that from us

I'm sick of feeling like an outcast for trying to be me,
We should really celebrate each others differences,
Those are what makes us unique

You can stop trying to dictate my life,
My way and my being,
I'd rather be outside of your ideal,
Than be repressed under your glorification

My creative soul dies held captive,
And it blooms in freedom
I don't feel free under your judgement,
But I don't live to please you either...

One day I'll be gone,
And if I die suiting your reality,
I've been dead all along
If I die creating my own reality,
I've never been more alive,
Even on the day I die.

So dear society,

Don't tell me how to feel,
Act,
Or look,
I'm done being a reflection of your perception
And I won't ever be that again...

As time goes by
We grow older, wiser
Greyer
Learning from mistakes past
Time never slowing
Clock always turning
Seasons ever changing
I think of my life
Have I lived up to my potential
Accomplished all I wanted
I have not
There has been no love of my life
This lonely life i've lived
Let down so many times
Was blessed to have kids
A pain in my side
Although I wouldn't change it for the world
Had fun at times, I did
But to no avail
Is there still time to change this life I live
Only time will tell

There must be more than this.
More than what lies
beyond the deep,
blue sky.
Where stars condense,
and collide.
Where glalaxies spin,
and multiply.
Where life blooms,
but never dies.
There must be more
than what lies
at the end
of an ordinary life.

He thought for a second before turning away and said "Don't mistake it for a mere co-incident, luck or fate. It's so much bigger than that, like you see in a movie every single time and you do what ?, You disagree, you say things like these don't happen in the real world. You are only afraid because it is so simple. And it is so simple. That's why you are more scared than surprised, I can see it in your eyes."

She whispered in the ushering silence
"But why did it happen the way it did?"

He took a deep breath. Staring at the floor, and like an inspired teacher addressing a curious student, he began in a gloomy tone..

"It was meant to happen and it did, as simple as that. Nothing is perfect, and that tiny amount of imperfection we can never erase, that tiny percentage of something unexpected. That separates us from the world, because the world without us is perfect and meaningless.

He paused for a brief moment as if he was reflecting on his words.

" It needs us, our stories, Because equilibrium is ****** and boring. And yet everything runs towards it, the reason things exist and we breathe. Chaos has always been very instrumental in the making of our world, random chances that were gifted too many number of times. That cannot be mere co-incidence, luck or fate. And that's why this also cannot be so."

She just stood there absorbing every feeling that she could retain for tomorrow.

Now twenty years later, watching her  children play with her husband of fifteen years.

She finally understood.

Sunrise on your face like a warm caressing hand
Your surrounded by friends, a tired but merry band.
No hooks or ropes needed just your backpack and your aching feet
Your taking longer drinks now to stave off the heat.

Its so contrasting, your hot when its frigid cold
This moment you'll remember, this memory is Gold
Its about achieving what you thought impossible at first
Something good for the soul, not just the hunger, but a thirst.

You fill your bottle from natures *****
eating your fill from among earths blossoms
Berries, nuts, roasting on ember lit nights.
the eyes consume the bounty of sights.

But the sunrise on the crimson dawn
while stretching your tired frame at being reborn,
So near so high you can touch the vanilla sky
You promise yourself to be back, but alas you lie......