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  Jul 2014 Life's a Beach
Drake Taylor
My arm felt right under her head.
Hair gently falling, flowing with the breeze.
The back and forth sway, of the hammock.
Warmth. Love. Happiness.
But happiness,
Happiness will make you miserable.
Expectations.
When my arm is solemn,
there is no breeze,
And my hammock is long gone,
That happiness will mock me,
Laugh in my face,
Taunt me until I fall.
It is relentless,
But I'm glad we had that moment.
Life's a Beach Jul 2014
13w
I'm the closest to stable I'll ever be
And I'm still so *insecure
Life's a Beach Jul 2014
Useless
Toothless
Helpless

Can't give it
Can't take it
Might as well
Help less

Can't prevent him slipping
Into darkness
Can't stop her sinking
Into oblivion

Can't even help myself

Useless

I punched myself in the leg today
I had to stop the way
The voices were clamouring
In and outside
My head
I had to stop the dread
That's my problem
When it comes to the punch (haha)
All the voices come at once
Then
Overload

Then comes hate
Hate myself
Useless

The punch didn't even help
Wasn't worth it
It bought back something else

Never

Do

This

To

Yourself


Her hits would punctuate her words
Her cheeks reddening on each strike
She might as well have
Hit me
It hurt as much to watch.

her eyes locked in on mine

Darkly humorous really
That I was always so split

Between fear that he'd hit me
Fear that she'd hit herself
And always, always,
The fear that they'd leave
Because I'd made them
Want to once too much.

Faultless
Helpless
Useless
I was never truly innocent
Because the guilt was
Always mine
Life's a Beach Jul 2014
11w
Kiss my lips;
I can't stand the taste of me
anymore.
Life's a Beach Jun 2014
She is his
You can see it just from a glance
It can't be chance
that he sits so rigid
Their PDA almost frigid
in it's clockwork execution
we kiss now, here, then, when we should
Their public nature behind a hood
of do's and don'ts,
should, could so would,
but never must
never need.
I don't feel she's ever breathed
just for you, she
feels too insular.
Too

Egocentric

His posture is pride,
A look; a challenge
A touch: assurance
This one is mine
Look, don't touch
Envy me
But find your own
In his arms his serpent glows
and coils around his throat
dote
Their words are whispers of
solidarity
A secret society
who's key they ate,
their touches tempt fate.

You're going to hurt him

But for now she coils, and
boils his blood
and throws his rudder out of
control.
And he sits, a deadbolted frame,
clinging to a paper Mona Lisa
which could flap away
or, at any moment,
bore and
stray

But for now,
they're proud and
loud with public love.
And crapping doves
Life's a Beach Jun 2014
I've been taught to take a beating
It's been enbedded in my skin
A tendency to stare within
and find unknown inadequacies

I've been taught to see
With varied sight
Taught to see only dark
To shun the light.

If someone yells
I must deserve it
If someone hurts
I must have earnt it
When someone grieves
I must relieve it
because it must have been my fault

Take every scream
with a pinch of salt
and time will pass
your shivers
as you wither
melt
away

This is why I take every day as it comes
and find it hard to stare a
checkout girl
in the eye.

And why I expect everyone to
almost definitely to
say they're through, and sigh
goodbye

I've been taught to take a beating
I wondered why you wondered why.
Life's a Beach Jun 2014
I really need a squeeze
I want to crawl into someone's arms
I want to sit on someone's knees
I'd like to feel someone's breath
Their blood beating under skin
I want to make the gap between us
thin
Safe within
I would like to snuggle
Please.
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