I thought the pain of not being respected by my peers was the worst
Until I met Social Media
She is a selfish dictator
Dictating who I should be,who I need to be
Telling me in every moment I am not good enough
Now if I get praise then I am elated,in such madness I feel accepted for my personal moment
Then the next day comes and I have to prove myself all over again
I am a blank slate,time for my begging
Social Media you have ****** my moisture dry in the deepest of my ligaments and bones
Who do you think you are?
How dare you tell me who I am?
You know nothing...nothing at all
To live ones life in constant expectation
left wanting to be liked,even appreciated for your work
Are you a photographer,writer,singer,lover of the Arts that have given you such joy
Artists of our past put out their work every 6 months to a year or even years
And we are expected to come up with something magical everyday,multiple times a day...again I scream,"Madness!"
I have been a people pleaser my whole life.
Beginning my life yelling at the adults,"Look at me,look at me!"
I grow tired of this impossible grind
Weariness is my comfort(how twisted)
Forget this,forget them all
I am going to go read a book now

Weakness is my enemy
Control is my vice
the illusion of protection
guarding my heart for out of it flow the springs of life
How do I guard my heart?
I cannot take the pain hurting me,the little girl
I hide in my mind's eye in a room with the thickest door
sitting in the chair of fear,possessing the scratch marks of my pain
the spotlight showing my vulnerability
I am that little girl,how can I protect myself
Outward I show the skin so thick
nothing can penetrate,I am God-like you can't hurt me
But if you had special vision you would see the world that is my burden
tears like showers coming down like a summer Southern rain paint my face
I have lost count of the knives that have pierced my back
Where are the truthful,faithful,caring, and empathetic
Are they a rare species that is extinct,or have they never lived?
This is not truthful,for I possess those gifts
and when I love I love with all I have,all that I am
why can't I find someone like that
I don't want to be hard,I yearn to be soft and tender
Friend-foe, Lover-Ex, I just want to love
So are you out there,have I met you yet?
Giving my heart I want and I want you, you to keep and protect it
My Eternity,keep my heart

There is nothing like stepping outside on a chill morning
& standing barefoot in the dewy grass
with my eyes closed against the rising sun.

The light piercing my eyelids fills my vision with a calming sunset red
that perfectly visualizes the feeling of the softly warm sun rays
blanketing my skin as the morning breeze paints my body
with a fine chilled brush.

I feel each patient beat of my heart
singing a song with the morning birds,
the flowing river & the dancing trees.

The sweet melody satiates me with serenity
& if only for a moment,
I am happy.

I am your Bride,you are my groom
without you I cannot face our bed room
it is the place we laugh,love,and fight
Walking hand in hand it feels so right
The sunshine warms my skin and your lips
across my neck I love your finger tips
Shall we run across the summer meadow
even out of breath my heart feels so mellow
They way you look at me that way
you my Love have nothing to say
Yet your voice is music to my ears
and when I am anxious you embrace me against my fears
We will grow older together
being able to hold against any weather
Be my Love and I will always be yours
can we dance one more time on our floors
I will not live this life without you
you hold me to this earth like glue
One day the dirt will hold our form
this I ask and nothing more
To be hand and hand in the eternal flame
Always so thankful that I took your name

Lead us, Evolution, lead us
Up the future's endless stair;
Chop us, change us, **** us, **** us.
For stagnation is despair:
Groping, guessing, yet progressing,
Lead us nobody knows where.

Wrong or justice, joy or sorrow,
In the present what are they
while there's always jam-tomorrow,
While we tread the onward way?
Never knowing where we're going,
We can never go astray.

To whatever variation
Our posterity may turn
Hairy, squashy, or crustacean,
Bulbous-eyed or square of stern,
Tusked or toothless, mild or ruthless,
Towards that unknown god we yearn.

Ask not if it's god or devil,
Brethren, lest your words imply
Static norms of good and evil
(As in Plato) throned on high;
Such scholastic, inelastic,
Abstract yardsticks we deny.

Far too long have sages vainly
Glossed great Nature's simple text;
He who runs can read it plainly,
'Goodness = what comes next.'
By evolving, Life is solving
All the questions we perplexed.

Oh then! Value means survival-
Value. If our progeny
Spreads and spawns and licks each rival,
That will prove its deity
(Far from pleasant, by our present,
Standards, though it may well be).

What am I thinking?
Nothing good only bad
put myself down,these are the weapons I have.

I am so weary,so tired
must fight,fight for me
why should I,what could I turn out to be

Let the mirror be my dictator
people are my judge and jury
if they could only see the shame of my fury

They believe they know me
I feel I have something to give
if I could just get a chance to breath,to live

Wisdom says don't listen to their doubt
Revelation speaks strength and hope
Knowledge can give me power against them so I can cope

I know I am not alone,you feel it too
We can rip their lies and deception at the seam
Beholding the Light and learning to dream