Closed down, for that Mom and Dad said they loved me
I wrapped myself in darkness with each star a dream that I could be loved
You the first made a point by poem no less,that you wanted me and wanted to love me
One of the stars shone brighter than the others so I allowed sunshine a certain place to shine.
Elated I was for I was loved.
The Wall I had built with childlike hands began to burst with hope and trust,opening my hands to hold yours my "Best Friend".

Then I felt with all my being the knife of deception and lies ****** in the light of that star which cascaded with hundreds causing such darkness in my soul.
You said you loved me,I dreamed with you,I made a door just for you in that encasement that surrounded that little girl...you said.

Since then I had others and I did not believe I could take the pain anymore,I would say goodbye
But You,You saved me from all of them to the beginning,to this moment
The little girl rests in Your lap listening to the loving music of Your heart
You never leave me nor forsake me
You have never lied
You simply hold me and tell me through You I am good enough
I don't need to be ashamed or alone anymore
Now my stars share the sky with the sun and the moon
and I see beauty on this earth for the first time
You love me,You said it...I believe it

I am so lonely for your smile
No one can make me laugh like you
Loving your eyes sparkle with laughter
I am so lonely for you

I am lonely for your arms
They are my comfort through my blessings and trials
They are my refuge and my fortress
I am so lonely for you

I am lonely for your faith
You believe in me no matter my sins or failings
Your belief believes I can do all and no army can stop me
My Love,I am so lonely for you

Weary of being broken
My wings are tired of flight
Weakening the soul for my fight

Drowning from being broken
The tears are more than I fear
Needing you to see my eyes and hear

Do I give up because I’m broken
My heart is overwhelmed and almost dark
But I must hold on to the lantern of my smallest spark

I am so afraid,so scared
How will I be able to bear
A lovely,sweet hearted child
Kind in disposition, loving and mild

A home and money to share
with a body weak and sick,it isn't fair
I just want to be a Mother
A Mother who loves Another

With all her heart
I am late to start
That is what the world professes
Not knowing how to get well,doctors keep me guessing

I just want to love...is this wrong
In my heart it beats it's own song
I want to love and my child love me
So my soul can finally be opened and I can see and be

A Mother.

I am so tired,so weak,so fragile
how will I take this next breath
So much to do and with what strength
why does everyone seem stronger than me

God help this weakness that feels apart of my bones
my blood cries out for someone to avenge me
I try to be good,to care,to love
but why do I feel so alone

Can anyone hear my silent cry
the weeping that lasts through the night
Awaiting joy to come in the morning
can anyone see me,can anyone hear me

Am I really alone,or is it all in my head
do they care and can they carry me
Carry me through my valley,with all it's hills
Someone hear and understand,so I may feel loved again

you were only
good
at beginnings
you always
destroyed
yourself
just when
you were
touched
by the beauty
of your friendships
anchors to your restless soul
your broken heart
won't hold