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Layla Emory Holt Mar 2015
Get good grades
Don't break the rules
Act like a proper lady
Don't let anyone see you cry

All things
I was told
would eventually
get me somewhere

I don't deny
that being safe
makes me
comfortable

but I wish
I could take
initiative
to be new

and do something
the world
has never seen

after all,
we are taught
so young to do
things now so we
don't feel the guilt
until later
Erik Erikson: Stage Theory (Stage Three of Eight)
Layla Emory Holt Mar 2015
I have always
had pride
in my independence

Always made
my own decisions
made my own friends
done my own work

As all others
I learned this
at a young age;
this self-reliance
of sorts

It is freeing
to have freedom
and relieving
to be relieved
of responsibilities
that are not mine

But it is nice
to think of myself
as small
and dependent
on mommy and daddy
because it was a
simpler
time.
Erik Erikson: Stage Theory (Stage Two of Eight)
Layla Emory Holt Mar 2015
As humans
during our
first year of life
we are supposed
to learn
how to trust
other people
for the
basics

but what are
we supposed to do
as we get older
and the hurt
increases
and the pain
won't subside

what about
when
our learned
balance
of trust
versus
mistrust
goes away

what about
when we
lose ourselves
and we are not
children
anymore
Erik Erickson's Stage Theory: Stage One of Eight
Layla Emory Holt Mar 2015
I used to sit
and reminisce

think of the good
when all the bad
was raining down

that day you
yelled
and screamed
in my face
i remembered
that fall day
driving and playing
in the rain

when you and your
friend
stood behind my back
and talked about
'kicking my ***'
i thought of
that time
late on the phone
when i talked
you out of a
permanent solution
to a temporary problem

I know your secrets
that I've never told
you know my secrets
all of which you've told

what about that
spring day
when we climbed on
top of your car
and as the sun
went down
we eventually
watched the stars

maybe I
should have known
when you talked about
your old friends
in the abusive way
you would
when I slept over
and we talked
until 4 am.

I never
would have guessed
we would have this ending
but if I could go back
I might just
do it all
over
again
m.a.s.
Layla Emory Holt Mar 2015
That smile
That telling glare
I know you see me
Standing there

We've been through hell
Everyone can tell
We've been through hell
My mind a prison cell

You lock me in
'Til I can't breathe
When I think of you
My emotions seethe

I wish the memories
Could fade with time
They come back with ease
Now they're dull where they used to
Shine

The harsh words
All the threats
And now a ***** look
Is what I get

You would think
The person
That helped me through
So much
Would feel worse
About putting
Me through
Even more
m.a.s.
Layla Emory Holt Mar 2015
SHE
All I have to see
Is her face

The freckles
Each hiding a secret
Her eyes
Hiding so many lies

I like to pretend
All my life
That I am
A fearless warrior
I can do no wrong
I am so often right
In my own mind

But she

She brings me to my knees

That icy cold glare
I used to laugh
And join her
When she looked
At others that way

But now
The tables have turned

She knows
I cannot
Hold my pride
When she is near
m.a.s.
Layla Emory Holt Mar 2015
Last night
I had a very
Familiar dream

It has been
Quite some time
Since the last

The touch of your skin
The spark of your kiss
The honey in your eyes
The pitch of your laugh

The sweetness in your smile
The gentle touch of your fingers
The slight sarcasm in your tone
The texture of your hair

When I wake up
I instinctively feel sad
Because the last time I
Dreamt this way
You were not mine
In any way

But as I wipe
The tired from my eyes
It suddenly washes over me
Every morning I realize

You are mine
I am yours
In this moment
Dreams can come true
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