Another night, another drive. She fills the tank and presses her foot to the gas pedal, she doesn’t know where she’s going, she never does.
She follows the curves of the road, when she can feel the hot tears on her face, she turns the volume dial down, and lets the voices in her head escape, she doesn’t know who she’s talking to; maybe God, maybe herself, maybe just the universe.
When the chaos of her mind clears and her cheeks dry. She turns the volume dial back up, and heads home, knowing it’s only a matter of time until the road calls her back for another drive.

I know How to spell onomatopoeia, and that on average, cats have 244 bones in their body. I know how to kayak on the lake, and the oceans of the Bahamas are so blue, you’ll think they’re fake.
I know I walked away and said I was done, but I don’t know why every time I pass the motel 8, I think about your birthday night and how I left the ice cream in the freezer. I don’t know why I cried when I threw away the Taco Bell hot sauces in my cupboard, or why after ten months I still want you.

I can bathe a cat
Not even a single scratch
I can’t use chopsticks

I still pray for you, and no not that you’ll love me again or come back to me.
I pray that you’re happy, and that you’re growing as a person.
I pray that when you’re sad you seek God for comfort and peace.
Lastly I pray that you find love, love for yourself, a love for  Jesus, and love for the next girl you dare to call yours.
I pray for me too, I pray for me to stop wanting you.

Deodorant, shorts, socks
Sit quietly in a box
Just in case.




-LH

When people ask me what I miss about you, I tell them your body, I tell them how;
I miss your head and how smart you are, I miss learning from you.
I miss your eyes, and how I would catch you looking at me.
I miss your ears and how they would listen to me complain, or ramble on when I was excited.
I miss your lips, and all those nights of pillow talk.
I miss your chest, and how I would calm instantly when I laid my head on it.  
I miss your arms and the way they used to hold me.
I miss your hands, and how they would hold mine.
I miss hearing your legs walking up my stairs, and the way your warm feet would lay beside mine.
your body was my home, but now it’s burned down leaving me with nothing more than ashes and memories.

I woke up another year older, but I can’t say another year wiser, why? Because I still miss you, with every fiber of my being. Every 11:11 or birthday wish is just for you to come back. I keep dreaming you’re standing there with open arms and when I run into them it feels like home. I find myself lying to everyone, but most importantly me! Lying and telling everyone I’m over you and I don’t miss you. I keep thinking about the last time I saw you, I can still hear your laugh and see your face. We didn’t know it would be our last night together, but **** I wish I did. I would have held you a little tighter, kissed you a little longer, and not said goodbye so lightly, because now it’s really over, you’re not coming back this time, and never again will I call you mine.