Filling the void
With strangers
In my bed
Searching for you
In their empty eyes
And drinking
Until last call
To ease the deep pain
But there is still a hole
That can only be filled
By letting go of you

If you're so selfless,
Why does it bother you no one notices?

You and your romantic ways, your countless list of reasons, your lovely lilac haze
Shadowed only by your fears there's not a universe where I stay.

Battled me.

And all my disarray
The timing and the distance, my thoughts that force resistance.
My lack of patience sure put up a fight, and mix her with my temper and we'll be here all night.
My fear, always ready to run, pulling me back behind the wall I built, away from the warmth of your sun.

I texted you
When I felt so alone
And so scared
And so ready to disappear
You pulled me in to reality
Or out of my terrible one
And gave a good reason to live

I now knew that one person loved me

You hug me so much
And tell me you love me
And you kiss my cheek
And you run and smile when you see me
And I don't think you know
How wonderful that makes me feel

I knew that someone's experience is better when I'm there

You saw my monsters
And you noticed my face
And you noticed my hand picking at the thing touching my face
You heard my silent scream
And you told me everything was okay

I now knew that my screams could be heard if the right person listened

I cry as I write this,
I love you
I'm grateful
Thank you

Its okay to have fewer friends than others
Its okay to be yourself
I never knew that before
I wish i did
Its okay to love another woman
I know i do
Its okay to write your feelings
I know i do
But i do as no one listens
No one listens as i talk
I talk too much
Im too annoying
I never found them to be annoying
I sit there and listen
I hear all their problems
Their minor inconveniences
But as i make an attempt to tell mine
I talk too much
Thats why i write
Thats why i wrote the letters
Theres only one attempt left for me
I’ll be listening from the stars

The worst part of betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies—it comes from the ones you trusted most, turning love into pain and loyalty into loss.