This rhyming tongue twister filled with S's and P's 
Is said by Sally's sickly sister as she sits by the sea
Selling seashells as she tells Peter the Piper
To pick pecks of peppers presently ripe or
Else forage the forest for frog legs and bees.
But beware of the badger's butler named Steve
Who forgot of the fox in the box wearing socks,
Bought by the duck in a truck for a buck by the docks
Where witches make wishes, of which there are three
One wonders, two wander, but which one are thee?

Seashell selling Sally and pepper picking Peter 
Then postulated how preposterous were the nauseous people eaters
Whose purple pales are full of quintessential quantities 
Quietly questioning carefully the existential quandaries
Of buck-riding ducks driving trucks by the docks 
With a box of a fox wearing socks made with locks
Who is literally elated over Luscious Lake
Where lucky duck Luke likes to lick lemon cake,
While eleven benevolent elephants and three blind mice
Might magically master their moves skating on the ice.

Thus this terrific travesty of a terribly twisted tongue twister
Seashell selling Sally sought to share with her sickly-sister 
While the pepper picking piper, Peter, perpetuated his preposterous plan
To provide the purple people eaters with a conundrum of a can.
Can they can as many cans as a can canner could?
Or what of the wood chucking woodchuck should it chuck any wood?
And the purple people eaters ate no purple people that day
Because Sally's sickly sister this tongue twister couldn't say.
And the benevolent elephants and blind mice three
And the licking duck Luke were all laid to rest by the sea.

I've never been good at opening up
In fact only one has ever really gotten me to
But she's no longer here, she has gone away
Leaving me behind to feel so afraid.

I'm a thinker in mind and a writer at heart
A lover and a fighter which can tear me apart
I'll fight for the one I love, I'll never let her go
If I could just find her so she could just know.

I don't like opening up, in fact it's very hard
I start to get defensive, I want to run far,
I feel a little barbaric like a rampant ape,
Who only wants to have the chance of a great escape.

If I do open up I'm afraid of what you'll find.
It's a mysterious place, this thing we call my mind,
Filled with a wild and crazy imagination,
Bizzarre concoctions of my own creation.

I do love creating a world of my own,
Where I can make everyone happy and never be alone.
But this can never happen, at least not in this life,
Just look around at all the people suffering in strife.

I want to help them, the mute crying out,
"I can hear you" I want to say but then I find doubt,
What if they don't want me, what if I'm no good,
I feel the want to help, now if only I would.

But that would require something from me I don't possess,
A great self-confidence especially when under stress.
I have found that under pressure I can work well,
Though not until it's over can I ever really tell.

The problem I have with letting others look inside,
Is that I've gotten so good at wanting to hide
I've fooled myself into thinking I'm strange
And fearing every attempt I make at change.

Oh and change is deffinitely by far the worst
It is the thing which I was afraid of first.
But of course I know the strengths that come from it
Then again, if it was that simple I'd have already done it.

I guess the problem with opening up, 
with saying who I am,
Is what if they don't like me?
What if they don't want to understand?

I can be so confusing, I barely know myself,
I sometimes have to ask someone else for help,
Of course that's not my choice but only when they ask 
And only ever then do I dare take off my mask.

Maybe that's the missing link I've been looking for,
Maybe that's the key to opening my door.
 A key that I can never turn by myself,
Maybe the door will only open if opened by someone else.

8/22/14

I have often heard the sky is blue and how the grass is green,
But I haven't got the slightest clue as to what that's supposed to mean,
No, I've only heard the stories of a sun shining bright.
You see, I was born into the dark, never to know the light.

I know birds by their songs and trees by their shade.
My fingers run for miles on hills artificially made,
Painting pictures in my mind of things I never knew,
Looking for some insight, searching for the truth. 

But all I see are the missing trees and those who make no sound,
Ghosts of my own making, look at what they're taking, never to be found.
For insight is like hindsight, both are looking with the mind
So spare the lies, don't try to empathize with a man born blind.

I have smelled the color purple, I have heard the color blue!
I have tasted green and yellow, and the combination of the two!
I can feel the color orange like the warm late summer breeze,
And the pale blue of the waters in winter when they freeze.

To walk by faith and not by sight is so much easier for me,
For I once was lost, but now I'm found! Am blind, but now I see!

8/7/15

Never forget the forgetfully forgotten
Just to beget the regretfully begotten.
For then you might simply be awfully rotten, 
Or you might even do what you woefully fought and 
Then this would be for naught

I put you on a lifeboat and watched you sail safely through,
As I drowned in the ice cold waters thinking about you.

I've struggled and faught to keep my head afloat
In hopes that you'll come back for me in your little lifeboat.

We did our best to avoid the iceberg, or so I like to think
But being the Titanic we were doomed, bound to sink.
 
And we broke so quickly, like it was out of the blue.
Turns out love isn't a strong enough glue.

So here I swim in the freezing sea of sorrow
Hoping to find warmth in a better tomorrow.

I can try to pretend, pretend that I'm not sinking,
But all the while I can't stop myself from thinking.

Thinking that if I can just stay afloat for a while
You'll come sailing by in your little lifeboat with a smile.

But you won't come, you've already reached dry land.
So I struggle for my life, for anyone to lend their hand.

I can only hope that hand comes before I freeze.
Oh Lord, send me my own little lifeboat, please.

12/17/13

I've found hope in a far off dream
So distantly impossible it does seem.
Others think I'm a fool to believe 
Even though I know they think I know not.

This dream is the thing for which I reach
Even though I know I'm unlikely to succeed
Others they think I'm going insane
Even though I know they know not.

They tell me give up, they say to move on
Find another purpose, write a different song.
They don't understand, they can't comprehend 
Even though I know they don't know it's all I've got.

I ignore what they say, I choose to press on
But my heart starts to feel like it's wandering on.
I say I'm ok, that there will be hope for one day,
Even though I know they know I have not.

Not sure where I'm going, I hold on to where I've been
As if I have some sort of direction, I try to pretend.
Without this dream I have nowhere to go
Even though I know they know that I'm lost.

1/19/14