I made you my religion
The definition of me
I saw you in my reflection
but you ran off with him.
those days I’d sit in front of
your picture
and pray for your arms around
me.
I’d wrap myself around a cup of coffee
my imagination of your being.

I look around and all I see
is stupid people all around me

what happened to common sense?
When I was growing up we didn't need warning labels on everything we weren't that stupid

what happened to work ethics?
When I was a kid we had to work hard if we wanted something now people expect handouts

what happened to being kind to your neighbors?
Growing up everyone in our neighborhood were every race and we were "family"

what happened to respect for your elders?
I was always taught to be kind and respectful of my elders and help them out whenever possible

What happened to morals?
My parents instilled honesty, respect , don't steal, don't cheat, don't help someone else cheat, and treat others the way you want to be treated, in me at a young age I couldn't break them if I wanted to because they are hardwired into my brain.

What happened to telling the truth?
All I ever hear anymore is lies

What happened to society?
We used to play outside, shovel snow for our neighborhood, we didn't use technology, we went on actual dates , holding hands and talking was the best way to show you cared , now people have online relationships never meeting eachother and sending ***** pictures. People text when sitting next to eachother. No-one actually talk to eachother. People now are so stupid that they need warning labels on everything, no-one has god in their hearts.

I was taught that there is good in everyone but when I look around all I see is morons that only care about themselves and will lie cheat and use anyone to get what they want.

At times I feel socially awkward
hiding away those eyes from contact
mumbling and stuttering
as though I were stumbling,
upon the words as I was discovering.

Please don’t think I don’t want to talk
when I rush out,
Please don’t think I don’t want to talk,
when I don’t open your messages.

I escape out of nervosity
I feel the fuzziness in my head
butterflies in my stomach
nervosity in my nerves
lack of air in my lungs
tremble in my muscles
and the gritting of my teeth on my nails
as it drains every ounce of energy out of me.

I hide behind shadows
so I don’t encounter any social interaction.

No matter how many times I plan
and play a conversation in my head
I shudder and fret in reality,
making myself look like an awkward mess.

I want to be friends
I want to say hi
but the words do not escape
for I feel tongue tied.

I feel conscience and dreadful
for being such an awkward mess
choking on words
unable to let them
escape my tongue.

I am thinking
more than I am speaking
I can have a conversation in my head
but somehow, I find it difficult in reality.

But then you reach out
and make the first move
It makes it easier;
only to find myself
being an embarrassment once again.

But you don’t judge
you play it cool
and remain patient
you still show an eager to talk
and maybe that was what I needed
to be comfortable and me.