I fell into the ocean of your eyes
Oh how alluring you were
You washed me in serenity
More peaceful than a sunrise
And more beautiful than
The night sky
But I must have forgotten
No matter how beautiful the ocean is
It swallows thousands of people whole
Every year
Another person lost beneath it’s waves
Their identity fading in reality
As quickly as it fades beneath the surface

I think I fell in love with her
Although I have never spoken to her
I read every line  she wrote
And pictured her pale fingers
Dancing along her keyboard
Every word a small piece of her-
I fell in love with
The way she writes,
Nothing has captivated me so much
I will never speak to her,
We will just continue to follow each other
On a site dedicated to only poetry
Filled with many others like her and I
But I thought her soul was so beautiful
That I had to write about her

Society tries to convince me fireworks are beautiful
But I really just taste a little of heaven and hell on holidays
I still have some terrible image of the ball dropping three years ago on New Years
The same sickening, nauseous, gut feeling Like the one I have now
It’s the same feeling I had when I took the plan B pill after celebrating the new year too hard
The thing is-
It isn’t any different now;
I can hear the fireworks explode in tiny pockets of my mind
And I can see the sky burst with life for two or three seconds
Before the color flickers and dies
But I can also taste the salt of your fingertips on my lips
And I can feel your rough hand close around my throat
I can still feel myself cough ‘no’ through your fingers
And in my mind I’m still praying to god that I’m dreaming
Holidays are supposed to be a little slice of heaven; a break from the chains of this world,
But I just taste hell;
This isn’t anything like three years ago, it isn’t hell-
I’m sitting next to my sister listening to the fireworks
I can smell the ***** on my breath and
Taste all the delicious food we made
The thing about holidays is that they aren’t made to be forgotten;
We celebrate because the triumphs of the past-
Only when everyone is celebrating
I’m trapped in some claustrophobic prison because of the past
Every firework sends chills down my spine
And I can taste your hands shoving my mouth closed
And feel your hands close around my throat so tight you leave bruises
I don’t like to remember but it’s impossible
Some things never change; they just sort of fade
I mean look at us;
We’re all here celebrating something that happened years ago -

I bathe in a bath of blood
(metaphorically of course)
The ****** crimson red is all I know;
It covers all the white in my eyes
Hiding any part of me that looks human
I look hungry; primal almost
I guess you could say the way I'd look at you
Is in pure starvation
Something that stems from my toes
and pulsates through my body until it reaches my mind
It's the lack of sleep that makes me look like an animal
It's the fact that I can run on no sleep for three days straight
I am not an animal, but I'm not exactly human either