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In the future will I be able to say:
"I no longer cry like I used to"?
To do it more often, but for a different reason other than grieving.
To cry in the presence of a woman.
Such an unpleasant feeling.

Being vulnerable as a man.
If I cannot direct these fiery flames,
then let them engulf me entirely.
Leaving not a single hair uncharred.
Sparing no feeling, only memory.

You run for me, pail of water in hand.
The water rises, and the water falls.
Like raging waves on a vengeful sea -
Like the betallion of tears in your eyes.

Alas, it hits ground - my arm left outstretched.
Confusion and betrayal paint your face.
Angels like you, can't comprehend this hate.
While I generously give and take it.

Should I fail to control this raging gift;
I would rather be consumed than lose it.
Extraordinary failure suits me,
ordinary success just never did.
i'm such a giver, deliver
lay yourself right in my shiver
let my tears run in the river

please grab me and squeeze me
'til acidic drops come out on your tongue
i guess you had it none

i look for and run away from you
but it looks like you do this too
turn the rage in bloom

so where's your pride? alibi?
you take these words and leave them, bye
please don't bury me here.
I dance

Alone and in silence
To the music within me
No one hears

I dance

With grace unbalanced
Like a swan on water
With no fear

I dance
Like no one is watching

Even though I know
No one hears
The sweet sound within me

But I dance

With great pride I dance
With love I sway

To the sweet sound
No one hears

But I dance anyway
Everyone talks about passion as if they know her.
But passion is my closest friend.
Passion is the fire that burns behind her eyes, the cigarette perishing between her lips.
Passion is the way my mouth feels against her chest, the breathy moan as my fingers grab her hips
Everyone says she is intense, but all I can think is how much there’s left to learn
Because passion knows what it feels like to burn out.
She lights fires in dangerous places and has more scorch marks than she has friends
Shes so calm and gentle yet never condescends
Passion is convalescence, her voice heals more than it bites
She holds my hand in the day time and holds me tighter in the nights.
Passion is pulling her closer at 1am because she smells like hope.
And nobody talks about hope as if they know her.
Passion is manipulated, overlooked and exploited
Everyone talks about passion as if they know her.
But nobody talks about passion as if they deserve her.
 Mar 13 Faith Cubitt
karuna
Passion is simple.

Passion is tipsy talks with your best friend on a saturday night,
passion is sleepy sunday mornings waking up beside someone you care about.

Passion is spelling your name in the air with sparklers on new years,
passion is a pancake breakfast on christmas morning.

Passion is stargazing in the countryside,
passion is not really knowing much about constellations but always being able to find the big dipper no matter where in the world you are.

Passion is laughs that make you cry,
passion is crying all night until you have no more tears left.

Passion is waking up at six am to watch the sun rise,
passion is napping in the afternoon sunlight.

Passion is watching a thunderstorm on your front porch,
passion is the smell after it rains.

Passion is not knowing where you want to go but knowing you are going somewhere,
passion is simple.
So fiery, beautiful, unique and ever true
Passion burns strongly, ever purely, forever you
Like no other feeling known to man
Consumes, absorbs like nothing else can
What is a life
But filled with strife
If it has no passion to its name
For it takes passion to play the game
And how boring it must be,
Certainly not life for me,
To have no passion raging in your heart
To be that empty would tear me apart
Nothing at all like it but lust
And even that bites its sad dust
Because lust is only passion diluted with greed
And passion diluted is knocked from its steed
Far less noble, though passion perhaps not noble at all
For it causes even the bravest, strongest, smarts to fall
The best of hearts, best of brains, best of bodies, best of souls
Would set aside their aspirations, ambitions, and goals
Would bend their backs and give their lives
To feel the blades of passion’s knives
Fires of passion burning true
Fires of passion for you and me
Take a sip of eternal fire
Let it heal wounds most dire
Passion in fire
And fire in passion
Together they stand
United their brand
Forever true and eternally wild
Ever burn the fires of passion
Saying goodbye
To someone you love
Is like reading the final page
Of an amazing book.

As the last chapter ends
You begin to notice
Just how beautiful
And perfect
The plot always was.  

You appreciate the joy
And even the pain
As you read and thumb
Through every page.

Finally understanding
The moral of the story,
You realize you've reached
The end of this journey.

Although the last sentence  
Is the most difficult to read
Another great book awaits
Once you turn the final page.

Eventually you may stumble
Upon yet another great find.
Or maybe you'll return
To the book you left behind.

You may just discover
Once all is said and done
That this particular book  
Was your favorite story
All along.
For Ty & Des ❤️
I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.
I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.
I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.
I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.
I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.
I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.  I never got to say goodbye.

On my knees, falling to the ground, in your arms, screaming,

I never got to say goodbye.
A piece from a larger body of work about the death of my best friend.
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