Almost....
death could not hold a torch to the word that lingers in my mind every second of every day.
we were almost something, and that almost will haunt me for the rest of my life.
I will think about how we almost kissed that night in the dark, drunk off ***** and each other.
how you almost held my hand when we were so close to each other in the back of that old chevy truck.
the almost, when you smiled at me,
when we looked at each other,
when every word held so much anticipation.
our almost will be my forever.

we were testing every limit we could get our hands on....
it was like we could not survive without chaos.
it was always us dancing in burning building,
threatening the lightning,
coasting that gray line between life and death.
you'd push and I'd pull....
we fought like cats and dogs.
we blamed the world for it's shallow trick's it played on us....
but we were already way off the deep end,
crashing through the surface of everything we wanted to be.

I wanted your finger running down my body,
touching places that sent shivers down my nerve endings.
I want to be destroyed by your mere touch....
knowing I could get nothing like this anyway else,
because you effect me in a way that no one else other than you can.
it's electric, it sends vibrations through my body.
I know you could wreck me with just a brush of you lips,
so why don't you?
I dare you....

words had maddened me....
the cobwebs hanging from the drafts of the only room where I felt at home but also as if I was completely losing my mind.
his invisible hands wrapping around my throat trying to choke me.
my hands were ****** with all the truths I could not tell him,
refusing to let escape my lips and make a noise.... but slowly they were sneaking through my hands, the words running down my lips to my finger tips.
the candle lit beside me was the only light left,
not being able to reach far enough to my soul to reignite it.
paper thrown everywhere, as my only listener....
but his imprints were on everything....
including me.

I couldn't help but smile when you talked, something contagious in your voice that sent bubbles through my stomach.
you didn't think you were attractive, and I guess I didn't think I was either....
but god, you had no idea.
everything about you was beautiful, from your hazel eyes to your red hair, every word you spoke was like honey, and I was getting more and more stuck every time we talked.
it didn't take me long before I knew....
I knew you were the one I wanted to fall asleep beside,
the one I wanted to hold hands with through life,
the one I wanted to tell my day too.
and all it took was your honeydew voice....

you had a gun,
there was blood everywhere,
but I couldn't run....
I saw the tears drowning in your eyes,
and I knew it was all a big mistake.
but you were the one holding the gun.
I didn't even hear it go off, but it did.
everything was supposed to be alright
you told me you had to do it.
and I believed you....

if all of the pieces fell into place could we make it through time and through space?
if everything aligned in the sky like we deserved, could it end up being you and I?
if not.... hold me one more time, tell me that in another universe there's a perfect you and I.
kiss me slowly like we have all the time in the world, like when we first fell in love.
I know all we did was try, but some would say it's better this way.
everything was gone in a blink of an eye.
and I guess it just wasn't mean to be you and I.
not in this life, it's not the right time....