Slip right through my fingers
Breathe her in
She is the beautiful
Embodiment of sin
Flesh meets flesh
I’ll hold her forever
Here in this haven
We’ve created together
Hover softly, gently now
Break the silence
Never the vow

Need like oxygen
Hold me close
Never, ever, let me go
Don’t leave me here
I’m just a ghost
Never, ever, let me go.

Eyes of maple
Lips like wine
Her gaze, her grace
I’ll make them mine
She sees my pain
Looks past the smile
Let’s stay here
just a little while
There’s a fire inside me
I can’t seem to put out
So i let her engulf me
Burn through the doubt
I get lost in her soul
Tangled up in her hair
Suddenly the world
Runs out of air

Need like oxygen
Hold me close
Never, ever, let me go
Don’t leave me here
I’m just a ghost
Never, ever, let me go.

She’s everything you’ve ever wanted
(Please don’t let me go)
She’s everything you’ve ever needed
(You’ll leave me feeling low)
She’s all you’ve ever dreamt of
(We can take it nice and slow)
But god told me once before
You reap just what you sow.

Need like oxygen
Hold me close
Never, ever, let me go
Don’t leave me here
I’m just a ghost
Never, ever, let me go.
Need like oxygen
Hold me close
Never, ever, let me go
Don’t leave me here
I’m just a ghost
Never, ever, let me go.

I beg of you, if you ever go
Please my dear, don’t let me know.

I’d much rather feel your palm upon my face
Than be faced with this controlling grace
The kindness you mean somehow doesn’t match up.
This control you have over me is ****** up.
No matter where I go - that’s where you are
No matter what I do - you never let me go far.
Afraid to say no. Afraid to disagree.
Afraid to love. Afraid to be me.
How far do I have to run from you
To be free from your grasp?
Your heartstrings curl around my neck as I gasp.
Screaming under water, where no one can hear
Screaming under deep blue waves of pain
Still no one can hear me.
Screaming under the white wash
It’s always going to be her fault
Gasping for air but only getting salt
Still gagging and grasping
And no one can hear
She’s afraid to be alive
She’s afraid to be
here.

Cat-calls and glances meant to sting
**** her heart - what a tired thing.
“Too big a heart” she spoke before.
Now her heart, it pleads “No more!”
She caresses my bones, fluid, moaning
This empathy leaves me open, groaning
Confusion settles in like a sickness.
What can she possibly do to fix this?
So she settles for the knife like
She settles for the pipe
She settles, she settles,
she settles, she settles.
She settles, she settles,
she settles, she settles.
Nothing anymore. Sweating. Broken.
She swears her heart will never reopen.
The pain in her eyes, left unspoken
She swears at God hoping someone will hear her choking.
What can she do to fix this?
So she settles for the knife
Like she settles for the pipe.
She’d rather take her life
Than be bound to this strife so
She settles, she settles,
she settles, she settles.
She settles, she settles,
she settles, she settles.

Awake in my nightmare
He calls out my name
He chases me while I search for a vein.
Ripping through flesh
Starving through tears
Why had she stayed for so many years?
She’s addicted to him
Like she is to her drug
Confusing pain and confusing love.
She dances around him
Screaming her name
“**** this! No more stupid games!”
Blissfully dancing
on shoes made of glass
She’s tripping again
She’s falling too fast
This pain that she balances
On the tips of her toes
Jagged little pieces
Jagged little stones
She says “He’s different!”
She says he’s the same
She says he’s not one for playing games.
Blissfully dancing
On shoes made of glass
She’s tripping again
She’s falling too fast
The pain that she balances
Nobody knows
Of the jagged little pieces.
Of the jagged little stones.

She sighs a breath, heavy and weary.
Her spirit is broken, her heart becomes dreary.
Her eyes, forlorn with the secrets she keeps,
Her mind is restless, for never she sleeps.
Her limbs are in shackles, unable to move,
Her belly too twisted to digest her food.
The days turn to weeks, as she begs for escape,
Her nightmares turn real as her demons take shape.
She screams for release from her personal Hell,
But her throat closes tight and her eyes start to well.
Her vision turns dark and her chest burns hot,
She reaches for help with the last strength she’s got.
Her soul curls and hardens, as her pain starts to billow,
Her suffering finally takes form:
A Weeping Willow.

Amanda Lynn Houck (2019)