There are so many things I want to say
I love you.
I'm sorry if I keep throwing guilt trips to make you stay.
You did hurt me, broke my heart in fact.
My first love.
My partner.
My universe
And everything good I've ever believed in.
I hope you'll grow.
The selfish part of me wants you back
You say I love you and I flatline
Because each time you say it after we parted I feel a part of me dying.
Healing takes time. But it hurts so **** much to keep going.
I hear your laugh and I feel it shake my own ribcage.
We accidently brush hands and I feel sparks too.
And I'm still falling for you.

I hung out with you and that ache didn't go away. It's consuming me and your solar flares are burning through my skin. My heart quickens when your hand brushed mine walking. We used to hold hands every where we went. I can't get over you. I never will.

"You're a catch cira, you'll find someone to be the star in your eye"

But you're the only star in my eye I only want you

You're the one I want you're the one I need

I will always love you. Im not cut out for relationships. But you have to do what it takes to make you happy.

I spent a over a year intertwining my life with yours.
We would talk about forever
Now you left me, we're still best friends and you are my everything
I can't seem to get out of bed
My guteral sobbing is shaking every bone as I write this
I love you
Please please be with me
They say sometimes what you want is not what you need.
I ******* need you.
You're my everything

i refuse to live in this fear
my own mind a cage, i was left there
rotting, sitting as i was my own prisoner
fears that they were right im nothing but a sinner
if only i had a key
if only i could see
past this foggy haze of a mind
and if i could fast forward to where my worst days are behind
i will strive, finding a purpose in this world
for i refuse to give up, my story is still untold
and i know its not just me, there is others
fathers, brothers, sisters and mothers
those who have given up to early
even i have tried, i almost succeeded nearly
for no one has not heard your loved ones cries
and knows where heart break lies
keep going do not give up, life has downs
but through it all you must stand your ground
for the mentally ill, for those whose tongues have been taken
who have been used, touched without permission given
stay strong, stand tall
show respect and love to all
Black, White, Hispanic, Asian
Jewish, Atheist, Muslim, and Christian
For we all are human we all bleed the same color
then we are the same and must stand up for one another

i saw the world in your eyes
but you looked in mine
and found nothing at all

you played the cards
i was drunk and falling in love
you took my will
my will to love from my lips
i mistook your lust for love
will i ever learn the difference

i reach out for you
knowing you'll fade from my sight
as soon as i'm close enough to touch you

and like water on ink
i bleed, tainting
the colors around me

My words fail, as soon as syllables dribble down my lips, they become disoriented. Never meaning the same as I planned. Everything I say comes out wrong.

Touch my skin,
just simple circles on the back of my hands.
Your warm honey brown eyes,
shining warmth to my long cold bones.
will you share your soul with me?
Paint me in flesh and let me have a seat.
we work so nicely
you keep me intact.

I claw the skin off my hands
Leaving just blood, bone, and flesh.
Panic starts to rise, tears start falling
My cries soft and my bones rattle
Pick me apart take the darkness out
Paint me in yellow and drink away my sadness.

Your warm, like the sun.
my cold hands of bone reach for yours.
feeling flesh on my decaying bones.
i starve i wither like a tree in the winter.
yet i hold on for you love.
my ice eyes the opposite to your honey brown.
i cant tell if you care for me, my brain is clouded.
But for now ill pretend you do.
and even if its a lie, i just want to be by your side.

I'm choking, flower petals fall into my hands. Blood puddled up, followed by more couphing. My hands stain crimson as I attempt to catch the petals and blood. Red dribbles down my chin and flowers break through the skin on my neck. Vines and flowers continue to grow in my lungs. Causing my disease to only worsen. Is this one sided love. Have you lost feelings for me.. Have I gone mad. My thoughts are again interrupted as a hack up more flowers. My chest is hollow.

Every time I'm really really messed up. You're drunk. You're so far gone and I'm so far away and yet so close to relapsing. My chest hurts and I'm afraid to fall asleep, the fear of my parrents finding out I'm gay and kicking me out. The fear that I have no where to go. And you're drunk. Thinking I'm okay, when in this moment my hands shake, trying to type out my distress. A cry for help if you will. I was crying really bad you said you would be there and you weren't

A little doll the universe tried to break.
Puppet that was not yours to take.
Don't touch me, I'm bitter.
Its my fault you called me a sinner.
little girl, little doll,
holding a secret and afraid to fall.

Your warm honey brown eyes, your skin slightly tanner compared to my translucent hands. You radiate the sunlight, shinning through my clouded emotions. You're lavender and sunflowers. My favorite combination. Your vines wrap around my heart puling me in.

My legs over yours, my face nuzzles into the crook of your neck. My hands holding onto yours loosely, but in such a way incase I slip I can cling to you for dear life. Because, I am falling, I'm slipping through the Hammock into the tall grass below us. I feel there I don't feel like I'm drifting off. Like my head is not spacing out. I can feel your heart beat. I can feel your embrace. As my hand traces circles on yours. Our eyes lock and I see you, I see you in focus.

Crying for the first time in months is like running your hands in hot water, right after from being in the cold all day. It stings, pins and needles. Like how my own heartache isn't enough. While they sit there drunk with friends, and I'm here alone. A empty house full of ruins. And my lungs hurt from shouting louder than a hurricane.