How could I Let go
When If I take
a step I will leave
My prints behind
And you will follow me,
You will follow me until
I stumble and fall
And crack my head open
The blood slowly flowing
Out of my body
As I try to fight you
Punch you in the groin
Make you leave me alone

How could I stop
To smell the flowers
When if I wonder
You take me by surprise
Grabbing me by the neck
As I gasp for air
And I see nothing but darkness
Nothing but the things I
Did not do
Did not remember
Did not achieve

How could I get rest
When if I dream
You take advantage of me
And paint the thoughts
And images in my head
Black, black as a crow
And it exhausts me a big deal
And as I try to wake up
You shut my eyelids,
Pin me down
And make me watch.

A cup of coffee so hot it
burns my tongue.
I like it, gives a kick

An opened book on Freud
laid out on the table so I’d seem
More cultured, educated

A joint in my hand as
I inhale the smoke with
the petrichor sneaking in from outside

A sense of calmness in this
chaotic world
somehow soothes me

A big house
is a lovely house,
a rich house,
a warm house.

A beautiful woman
is a cherished woman,
a clean woman,
a noble woman.

Both radiate:
her skin glows,
its columns shine
and the windows, oh so clean.

Try and look inside
you can't
              Can you?
take a peek.

As though its windows are clean
and her smile is inviting,
you can only gaze at the exterior
for when you get through the gate, the skin

The interior
is not
so
glamorous.

A confetti
Ones may say
Even when the sun is down
She can light up the day

Clear like water
Beautiful like the sky
living in utter
Dreamlike delight

Yet when reality comes
Dark clouds creep in
And weakness in her bones

Wind blows
Confetti goes
And emptiness comes to life

And, somehow
That loved and loving girl
Can love anyone but
Herself

To The smell
To The drill
To The simplicity
I adapt
Quickly, No thought
It Fills up my veins
With warmth
State of longing
But For what?
For Those few seconds
Of difference, change
The Crisp wiff of air
And Clean, white sheets
Strange, but oddly comforting

I gave All of my vulnerability away
For you, to you
Exposed the dirt of my soul
Not understood.
Kept on
Waiting for hope,

in despair.

Seated in a car with the windows slightly down
my father was hidden behind a mask, you could hardly see his face
we drove past the bright rapeseed fields
and I smiled as the smell of cows gently carresed my skin
like it always used to, spring evening

Sweet despair was in the air
came as quickly as the sun set down
will fade away when the first rays hit
but far away will still be felt
like it always does, spring evening

Years go by and my mind gets tired
life did look different those 10 years back but my dads voice sounded the same
as today, a warmth of the fireplace
like I used to feel, spring evening

Seems like a good time, to cease it
make it a happy ending, peaceful sky
could never feel this close to being a child, a child again
like I never thought I could, spring evening