It’s really quite simple
Birds flock together
Worms weave their way through the earth
Trees grow stronger every year
And the earth turns on its axis

The seasons blend, one in to another
And time passes

Babies are born
Children grow
Adults age
People die

One year ends
And another begins

As we cycle through the seasons repeatedly
Inhabiting the patterns of our behaviours

And I did not know
That trapped in my life
Was such a melancholic feeling
Of which I was never truly conscious
A heaviness hanging around my heart
Until I perceived it this morning

It was as if the mists of dawn
Had wrapped around my soul
And I, on this day
Became cloaked in a great sadness

I took the crown off my head
To make myself more approachable
To you
And in doing so
Forgot that I ever owned one

I read a quote somewhere that said,
"I don't know how many times I have survived myself, without telling anyone else."

And I felt those words shoot through every nerve in my body. I felt them so deeply.

And I wonder how many of us feel the same way.

How many nights we fought off the suicidal thoughts, the urge to cut, the urge to purge, the urge to run or to hide out, alone, too afraid to worry or bother our friends and family.

How many days and nights have we all suffered in our own darkness alone?

People like us fight a battle no one can ever fathom because it's a battle no one can see. And we don't let them.

I've fought myself and survived myself alone so many nights.

There were nights I use to lose my own battle. But some how still came out alive.

I guess that's how we keep going. Because every time we give up we come out stronger.

You fight yourself and beat yourself up for so long that eventually you become a master of surviving a war.

We're warriors.

"I don't know how many times I've survived myself, without telling anyone else."

Tonight, I'm telling all of you.

I survived myself.

And if you're still here and you're reading this, you survived yourself too.

It's not easy but you did it.

And I'm so proud of you all.

you never asked to read my poetry
maybe that was the sign.
i told you i wrote for fun,
you shrugged and moved on.