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  Mar 2019 Summer Shellhamer
Ithaca
We may look happy,
But it’s merely a guise.
We stand on tall buildings,
Planning our own demise.
Ain't I a human?
Ain't I to have feelings?
Sorrow,
Anguish,
Anger,
Joy,
Love?
Ain't I a human?
Ain't I to have my likes and my dislikes?
My opinions?
My voice?
Ain't I a human?
Ain't I to play?
To laugh?
To cry?
Ain't I a human?
With many quirks?
Accept me for,
My mentality,
For my uniqueness,
For my ways.
Ain't I a human?
Ain't I fellow man?
Ain't I to kiss the sunshine,
And taste the wind?
Ain't I to do what any other can?
Ain't I a human?
When my family is angry I respect it if it is responsible, but when I can't be angry and have to "grow up", to show a fake smile oof!
I kept chasing
you, as if
you were
a distant dream.
But dreams
are not always
dreams.
Sometimes, we have
nightmares too.
When did those dreams turned into nightmares? When did I stop believing in the magic of dreams?
When I was five,
my mother told me I was loved.
Years later, she asked me to leave because
I was the reminder of the gruesome past that haunted her.

When I was ten,
my father told me he believed in me.
Years later, he refused to accompany me because
I was an embarrassment to him in front of the society.

When I was fifteen,
my friends told me I was funny.
Years later, they all laughed at me because
I was the gullible teenager who fell for their flawless façade.

When I was twenty,
this guy said I was beautiful.
Years later, he trashed me, tormented me because
I was ignorant enough to overlook my inevitable flaws.

So, sorry for not believing in you,
for questioning your intentions, inclusively, in-depth
when you told me you loved me because
I didn’t want to wind up years later,
learning it the hard way that people often don’t mean what they say.
"Pistanthrophobia is just not everyone's cup of tea."
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