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 Nov 2020 E G
RatQueen
You and I we lived a lie
And spread it to the masses
I made sure to tidy up and wore rose tinted glasses
I saw the flags and all the bad but couldn't understand
I cried myself to sleep and stuck my head under the sand
But somehow baby I just never could be what you needed
Accusing me of everything, yet you're the one who cheated
Such a sad realization when you wake up to a stranger
That you somehow knew for years and yet your connection's weaker

So goodbye goodbye goodbye I walk out with a bang (Just like I walked in)
Goodbye, goodbye goodbye we'll never meet again (you should have listened)
I know I told you baby that this was til the end (for better or worse)
But eternity don't work for me, if youre hurting me, my friend (you were my curse)

You told me I was heartless when I left without a tear
I guess you didn't count all the times I cried those years
You wounded me in different ways in which I still can't heal
Still I was devoted, my hearts not an easy one to steal
I gave you enough chances, time and time again
If you really cared about me, than you should have listened
So call me this and call me that
I really dont give a ****
I know that for some other man someday I'll be more than enough

So goodbye goodbye goodbye I walk out with a bang (Just like I walked in)
Goodbye, goodbye goodbye we'll never meet again (you should have listened)
I know I told you baby that this was til the end (for better or worse)
But eternity don't work for me, if youre hurting me, my friend (you were my curse)

How can I learn to trust again after such a failure?
You were just another waste of time, you weren't my savior
Sometimes I still think of things you said I get lost inside your lies
But I've grown so much since I stood my ground, you'll never realize
I won't allow myself to act stupid over another guy
I deserve the world and will except no less than the moon, the stars, and sky

So goodbye goodbye goodbye I walk out with a bang (Just like I walked in)
Goodbye, goodbye goodbye we'll never meet again (you should have listened)
I know I told you baby that this was til the end (for better or worse)
But eternity don't work for me, if youre hurting me, my friend (you were my curse)

Fast forward to the future and look how much I've grown
Can't believe how good I'm doing out here all on my own
I became my own support system, my own best friend
I don't need nobody else baby I got this til the end
But then a pair of eyes caught mine in a way I can't explain
They look not a thing like yours and I'm over the moon again
But this time will be different, this time Ill be stronger
I refuse to be abused or suffer any longer

So goodbye goodbye goodbye I walk out with a bang (Just like I walked in)
Goodbye, goodbye goodbye we'll never meet again (you should have listened)
I know I told you baby that this was til the end (for better or worse)
But eternity don't work for me, if youre hurting me, my friend (you were my curse)

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
I'm done with all your heartache
And I promise you by the time you notice what you threw away
I'll be someone else's cherished "mistake"
 Aug 2020 E G
Rileigh Shanks
Once in the midst of a bleak October, as I wandered, meek and sober,
Over the piles of crisp and crunchy leaves on the lonely forest floor–
I began to ponder what was true, when suddenly there came into view
As if someone carelessly threw, through the forest’s ****,
Some wood and glass and shingles, amidst the forest’s ****.
A House, there stood, with a solitary door.

“A lonely House,” I muttered, and promptly thereafter shuddered
At the whisperings I had uttered, and the weight that each word bore.
This lonely House seemed haunted, yet part of me still wanted
To carry on undaunted, and discover what was in store —
What, beyond the creaky porch and faded walls, did lie in store.
I approached the solitary door.

Trembling and trepid I clambered up the stairs, poised for any future scares.
Each shaky breath lingered as I faced the lonesome door,
With a **** I began rapping, gently — ever so gently — tapping,
Hoping that my slapping, admission beyond would implore.
But it soon became clear there was no one to implore.
With that, I opened up the door.

As my eyes to this new dim lighting did adjust, I noticed first the layer of dust
That covered every table, every curtain, every drawer.
Photos hung on all the walls, from floor to ceiling and down the halls,
I could nearly hear the calls from the faces framed in the House’s decor;
From every piece and parcel of this House’s aberrant decor.
Behind me closed the lonesome door.

It was then that I first noticed, abruptly and in the remotest,
Something even more erratic than before.
The walls — they were breathing! The lungs inside were seething.
I could even hear a beating, beating beneath the floor;
A heartbeat — I swore it was! — beating beneath the floor.
I turned and fled toward the door.

Locked! The door was locked! I recoiled as if struck and balked.
In my panic to escape I stumbled and swore.
I felt the House around me shiver, every photo began to quiver,
A shuddering sigh it did deliver, as I stared blankly at the solitary door.
The single, lonesome, solitary door.
My efforts to escape were no more.

Slowly then I turned — I could not deny I was concerned —
As an eerie creak alerted me to the opening of a second door.
Without warning the ground beneath me bucked, and I nearly lost my conduct
As through this door I was ******, and taken to its core;
Deeper into the House I was drawn, and taken to its core.
Behind me closed the second door.

In the next room, I noticed straight away, the House was in much less a state of decay;
Beneath the layer of dust and drear, there were elements I did adore.
Though still ramshackle and broken, this room appeared strong — oaken —
As if it held secrets unspoken, and desired me to explore.
The House, I think it trusted me, and I desired to explore.
The fear I felt — it was no more.

This room was full of closets and chests, all of them locked to prying guests,
Each one a mysterious piece of the House’s hidden lore.
This House, I felt, needed to be known, though its secrets were rarely shown
And it was accustomed to being alone, so I wanted to know it more.
The curiosity inside of me longed to know more.
Yet I was wary now, unlike before.

“How could something so exquisite,” I murmured as I paid the pictures a visit,
“Be left so empty, so dark and dusty, so completely uncared for?”
Again I felt the walls throb, releasing a sound like a strangled sob.
“I once had caretakers to do the job, but they ravaged me and left me sore.
Yes, they rattled and ruined me and left me sore.
And for that, newcomers I do deplore.”

I was startled at first, I will admit, by the House’s unexpected wit,
Though not dissuaded even a bit by her poignant roar.
I was more determined than ever to know this House’s heartbreaking tale of woe,
And I longed to in some way show that not everyone wanted war —
This House deserved to be loved and shown that not all people wanted war.
Her confidence I wished to restore.

“Your story is horrific, to be true.  Why would anyone wish to harm you?”
And with sincerity anew, I continued, “Please do not abhor
The state of my ubiety, nor misinterpret my dubiety.
I do not desire to cause anxiety, nor for you to suffer anymore.
I will do my utmost to guarantee, you shall not suffer anymore.”
To this I swore.

“House, you are a treasure. You were meant for so much pleasure.
I can see the perplexities, all the wondrous mysteries in store.
I know you have been hurt, and to outsiders you stand alert,
Your pain has caused you to invert, but I want to know you more.
To study you, to hear you, and to come to know you more.
Only this, and nothing more.”

The House moaned and trembled, “I’ve come too far to be disassembled;
I’ve been whipped and whacked, and been made into a *****.
I used to be addressable, to everyone I was accessible,
My love and trust were irrepressible, once in the days of yore.
I was open, but misunderstood and unexplored, back in the days of yore.
That was all before.

“You see, my design is ever-changing; my rooms are constantly rearranging;
I have closets and chests and attics and cupboards galore.
For most it’s just too much; too much work, too much effort to touch,
So they abandon me as such. For them I became a chore.
Tiresome, irksome, heedlessly rushed through — to them I’m just a chore.
Only this, and nothing more.”

It was here that every wall then shook, every niche and every nook.
“I only long to be truly known, and for the torment I once bore
To be completely disproven, and for a second chance to be given
For someone honorable to move in, to appreciate me to my core.
Someone I can entrust with my rooms, who will know me to my core.”
Then I heard the opening of every lonesome door.

From here the House guided me, and slowly relinquished every key,
Acquainted me with every banshee, and accompanied me to every floor.
Never once did I desert her, it never crossed my mind to hurt her,
And all her scars that once were, after a time were no more.
The longer I stayed, the deeper I knew, and soon her scars were no more.
I daily felt her spirit soar.

It’s been years since House and I first met, and I’ve never been to her a threat.
She’s never had reason to fret, because this haunted House I do adore.
Some days are hard; sometimes I find she’s on her guard,
Or a window she has barred, but I never have need to implore.
No longer do I wonder and fear, nor ever have need to implore.
For I know what lies behind every lonesome door.
 Aug 2020 E G
allison
Afterwards
 Aug 2020 E G
allison
I've been driving around for hours and I'm leaving this voicemail to tell you that ever since you left, my head hasn't been the only thing out of whack. I have the heat on high with your favorite hoodie around me, but I can't stop shivering. I've never seen so much rain in January and I can't help but think the sky is mourning my loss too. I'm always nodding off if I'm not in bed, but whenever I'm in bed I can never shut my eyes. I called to make sure you could fall asleep knowing how adored you are. I called to make sure your dinner was more than just ramen. I called to make sure you locked the doors and finished your homework. I called to tell you that guy you don't like tried to contact me, but I blocked him, again. I called to see if you've been hugged today. I called to tell you I went to my favorite spot to watch the sunset, but I left just before it set because I couldn't stand to watch something so beautiful, so familiar, end like we did. Tell me, is it easier to sleep without me beside you, oblivious to how you really feel? Today on my way home I realized you weren't myhome anymore and I had to turn around. I wanted to tell you that my keys are in my car and my bags are still packed, just in case you ask me to come home. I called to make sure you're still smiling even though it's not because of me. I'm leaving this voicemail in hopes that you realize you're the reason I ever stopped wanting to die
You left and I called to make sure you're okay
 Jul 2018 E G
yúyīn
Everyone comes with scars,
But you can love them away.
I told you that I wasn't perfect,
You told me the same
'You don't get it, I-"
'Shh, I love you, imperfections and all',
You said
But a month later,
Everything changed
You looked at me with disgust-
Like I was **** on legs
'I'm breaking up with you',
You said
'Why', I asked
'You're not perfect, I don't love you'
Hysterical sobs, at the loss of-
What I thought was love
'But I love you!',
I screamed at the closed door,
For you walked out on me
Your previous words meant nothing
I'm not worth loving, why?
The cuts on my thighs?
My eyes full of hurt?
My mouth full of lies?
The pain you caused,
Hurt more than the fresh cuts-
I just made
These were dedicated to you
Etched into my skin,
The perfect reminder of the pain you caused
'I love you' it said,
Used my blood to make-
a small heart on my tear-stained cheek
Then I slashed both wrists
They were dedicated to you
I love you
Hours later, remembering something-
You left
Found me lying there,
With the note cut into my hand,
'I love you' it said
The perfect reminder of the pain you caused
 Sep 2016 E G
Pluck
I feel like spring, I feel like that's my life's reason.

You know? Like how they say some people are only in your life for the time being?

I'm a season, I'm clarification for what ever they aren't seeing.

Everybody hates winter but once they've made it to summer they forget to appreciate spring.
 Nov 2014 E G
Cathyy
'Under the sky with you..
I wrote a line for you
and as your eyes found the Moon's,
those stars were fixed on you..
'Everything is beautiful, your broken smile too..'

And back at the tree house, I
wrote a poem for you well, tried*
but it was way too simplified..
I needed bigger words like;
The juxtaposition of this composition is too excruciating to be euphemism now..

... So darling let's be real,
You and I, we both know how we feel..
'craving love from others but rejecting it from ourselves..
If only my hugs could heal,
maybe then I could love myself..

'Lying on the field, eyes closed..
I thought of my bow and arrow,
'how I've tried to set the target on your heart,
but the thought of hurting you made it hard to let go..

Do I take your breath away?..
Or am I just a breath away from doing so?..

Oh I just want you. So. Bad.
'So bad that if you hurt me,
I'd hurt you back..
'Write a song, a traumatic chapter for dramatic impact..
If only feelings could change..
but maybe your feelings will..

Maybe one day you'll see everything is beautiful,

.. and I can be too.
.. book spoilers ;)
 Nov 2014 E G
Nolithando
Have I ever compared you to the stars?
Have I ever described your eyes in ways that resemble constellations?
Talk to me about time.
Talk to me about the universe
in all ways that'll I'll never be able to understand.
Spin me around like a clock and take me back in time
to the days when stars shined brighter than these Jozi lights.

We don't have to say a word.
Make no noise, not a peep.
Let silence fill our ears.
Let the quiet take over the earth.
Let us float in this peace,
and enjoy the time we have together.

I know that I have to leave soon
and I know that stars don't burn forever,
but lay with me here on the ground.
We'll count sheep all night until
the sun greets us in the morning letting us now
that the night is dead and gone.

It's not my fault that I fell in love with the world in you.
I see so much life and you
and I think we should stay in this position forevermore.
We will never miss another darting star,
Whirling its way passed us breaking our silence just for a second.

your eyes, made to see the depths of me.
your ears, made to hear the thoughts i keep.
your hands, made to fit my dainty mold.
your lips, made to ******* sweetened soul.

I long to be the place you can put everything they know you need to survive - every secret, solitude, nervous prayer & be certain I'll keep it
Finally finished this piece I've been writing for quite sometime for someone near & dear to me.

— The End —