Things that nobody talks about:
The desperation of loving someone who doesn't love you
How the sun feels warmer when you've spent a year being cold
The feeling of weightlessness after crying yourself to sleep
When he stares long and hard at you and smiles softly, making your eyes feel shy even when you are not
How people who used to exist in your orbit still take chunks off of your surface, even when you've taken so many hits you hardly exist.

Things that nobody talks about:
Even when you've moved on, even when you've found someone who loves you more, even when you've discovered better things, your skin remembers things best forgotten.

Its over
My dreams know
Inside i know
It still hurts
The why lives unanswered
From experience
The dust will settle
I will be stronger and wiser
I will live more guarded
This i know
Each time i brake
The pieces dont fit nicely again
But rearranged they do fit
I, differant stronger queen emerges
A small fire of hope survives
A worthy kning will come
If only in my dreams

They keep calling me an underachiever.
I don’t understand is this all a contest. What is there to achieve?

There is no hope for you
Young boy young girl
You drive too fast up north
little boy little girl
You are running from mediocrity
little girl small girl
You  fill your lungs and heart with poison
little man little woman
I refuse to watch the streets take you
darling girl
sweet girl
Be beautiful forever
There is hope for you
my girl my woman
Drag yourself from your demons
my boy my man
dance
dance
dance
with the world my girl
Don’t turn blue on me ever again
dancing girl dancing girl
See the world through the songs of redemption
and recovery,
Sweet
Little
Beautiful
Dancing girl
Go
Be still
Be free

"I love you,"

I said.

He replied,

"Good night."

That night

I knew

what love was for me

was a dream to him

Long nights, dreaming
He's beside you gently sleeping, away..
And when you wake up,
as the Sun comes,
You whisper 'I love you' to your one love, everyday

But just because you're also a man, doesn't mean you can't love another
And though you're safe and sound someone else has been disowned by their mother and it's not a nice town when you're getting beat up by one another, for loving who you love

But this life is good,
And his eyes are kind..
And your heart is big enough
To forgive those who had the nerve to leave you behind
And your words are so pure
You've never meant anything more..
And even when you're getting called a bunch of names,
It doesn't make you any less beautiful

And just like how the sky is blue,
This bond is strong..

And this love is love.

I'm a lot gayer than originally planned.
*******. Gay.
But I'm worried about the concept;
not sure if it's right to use the word
“gay”
when (I'm sorry I said it)
I'm really bisexual,
just particularly into women right now.
Like,
is that bad representation
of my sexuality?
Only encouraging
bi-erasure?
It just doesn't have the same
“umph”
to say
I'm feeling particularly
bisexual today.
But I've been telling myself
over and over
that it's okay,
no matter what
I'm feeling today.
I don't
need
your
box

anymore.

seconds, minutes, hours, days

spent hoping it was just a phase

as his parents sent him to a church where they'd say

"son, you better pray the gay away"

surely this "God" had far more important issues

than a boy in a closet with a handful of tissues

surely this "hell" was a place for far worse people

than a boy forced to confess his sins under a church steeple