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deyrah Sep 2019
Lean heavier... Let me be yhur stepping stong to yhur elavated height.
But please, if yhu get to the top.
Do not forget me.
when yhu help someone out of despair, but they forget yhur good deeds.
deyrah Sep 2019
Anyone z replaceable...
But not every one can be replaced.

Anyone z replaceable,
But no one can take anyone's place.
Life z really confusingly understandable.
T just is... Nothing lost, nothing gained.
deyrah Jul 2019
So... My thoughts of yhu, are still real and firm, but now the moments we shared together has almost become a distant memory, dementia z surely catching up on the kisses we shared.
All the hugs of comfort
They are now minor fort.
My feelings about yhu are just lingering with no where for them to rest or lay on.
I want to say i miss yhu. But even that has no completion.
deyrah Mar 2022
I want to love!
The kind of love that doesn't make sense.
The love that leaves you in nirvana
.
.
.
.
.
.....
...
.
Don't fall in love with me though.
That'll be sad!
For i know myself, i was the cause of ragnarok in my own heart.
Laufeyjarson!!😂
deyrah Feb 2020
Looks can be deceiving...
Why don't you just look deceiving??
deyrah Jan 2020
Once!
I was afraid of losing you!
Now,
I'm afraid, that I am losing you!
deyrah Feb 2020
Do you recall that street we used to hold hands and walk on??
Yea, it's filled with grasses now.
deyrah Sep 2019
So... If, too strong of a belief in a thing, blinds one's eyes and heart.
Then, could we place love under a belief??
If so...
What about lust??
deyrah Sep 2019
Was the darkness present, so light could be created??
Or was t because light came, that the darkness appeared??
Cause, when light shines, t creates a shadow.
Can we say that darkness z the mother of light??
I'm just over thinking things, or am i??
deyrah Sep 2019
Even when he could almost taste the lies she spits out.
He still stayed.
He drank from the agony she fed him.
But he never left.
Condition of hopelessness...
In spite of all the abuse, with words.
Me
deyrah Feb 2020
Me
So...
I'm so sad
It feels like i broke up with myself!
deyrah Jan 2020
They say only the devil walks in darkness.
But I pray daily in darkness...
And sin openly in the light!
What does that make me??
deyrah Mar 2020
The last text yhu sent...
Became blurry, after i read it.
For the second time!
A break up??
deyrah Sep 2021
As versatile as our minds, being in an odd sync... Traveled.
We saw each other for who we were.
Or at least i did.
As memory serves, you proposed forever.
But forever is a long time.
In my vast memory, a memory without verses and in contradicting our own universe.
Like a memory verse, you stuck to my head, even after you were gone.
I recited you back into my life, and clung on-to the petty hope.
A hope filled with despair.
We would've been a great pair.
Now like a memory not needed, I'll put you in a vase.
And slowly erase you, like a memory-verse!
deyrah Jan 2020
I looked into the mirror today...
All i saw was pain.
deyrah Dec 2020
If I was a ballerina...
Swan lake, wouldn't have been able to be my only performance.
Where the sun rises, for Genesis to exist.
How can one's heart be so soft in the strongest way possible!?
My mother, isn't an angel, but I'm sure it took God two extra days to make her.
How else would you explain that.
A woman would hold so much quintessence.
Her presence makes a bad day taste like a vanilla ice cream on a summer beach.
Stella, if you decided to replace a star today.
You'd make the laws of physics confused.
Cause baby, you'd shine so bright, the sun would be like a faint candle light on a pitch black night.
Thank you for being born.
Happy birthday love!
deyrah Jun 2021
I'm pretty sure the word is underated
Too frequently used, that we forget to attach a meaning while saying it.
The sole proprietors of sentiments
The quintessence of woman-hood.
The utter embodiment of love.
The spitting images of all things "care"
And the place where all happiness are fulfilled.
The ones who sat and washed our infant heads, from infancy to adults, they still wash us up in their own way.
Her embrace, gives you warmth, erases a blizzard from our aching hearts.
The ones who say "i love you" by adding an additional serving of food to you.
Our falling pillers, who helps us stand, despite falling.
We may not always see eye, to eyes or say it, but...
I love you!
This is an ode, to African mothers. Our back bones!
deyrah Feb 9
There's sentiment in the way you talk
In every breath I watch you take.
You exist in me, in the words, the sounds and even in colours!
They say "love is blind"
And if so...
I'd like to love you in braille.
deyrah Mar 18
Every conscious breath
Every lingering desire...
Every tale where you are in it
You are my colour, my tribe, my culture.
My very tradition, you are my religion.
I'll offer worship and piety to you
You are my present and the only future I see!
You are my life style, without you my life would be without style
I'm not blaspheming here, but you are my god!
If my heart was dusted for prints, they find yours stamped there!
My lips would endlessly run dry without your kisses.
Replace all your characters in all your favorite books with me!
I could play with words all day, but the truth is you're just stunning...
So baby, call me... anytime!
And I'll come running
deyrah Oct 2021
Hello!!
Darkness, my old roommate
It's been, what seems like decades
It was only yesterday, that i moved out into the ***** of light... She was warm and kind, and soft, so soft...
Too soft, it felt unfamiliar.
So I've come back with my tail tucked between my thighs, thighs trembling as how awful i feel, cheating on you.
You're cold, but you are comfort
I thought that warmth was good, until it became to hot to bare.
I thought that hope was sweet until i got diabetes.
I've missed despair, and while people who haven't gone through it would think it bad.
It's better than the devil i do not know.
In light i could see, see all my flaws, but under you i could hide who i really am, from the world.
You are comfort, and this may seem depressing, but I've come back.
To fade into you, and allow nothingness caress my soft-warm heart into a cold one.
Because there were a lot of people who broke me into pieces showing me warmth, at least, I'm myself when I'm in you.
I realized, light isn't meant for everyone.
deyrah Oct 2019
So...
When love exists, and the relationship goes cold.
What do we do??
Wait till we grow old??
Sometimes, love just isn't enough!
deyrah Aug 2019
She skillfully watched as her happiness danced away.
And slowly as she found comfort in despair.
For hope was now a distant memory.
deyrah Oct 2020
She said "i love you"
He smiled, then spoke about the beach house.
The cuddling, with endless kisses.
With essence of ***** smelling all around.

Changing new sheets together.
Walks at the park, holding hands and being there for each other
Dancing to their favorite songs
Cooking, and ending up not eating them.
For the fun of it.
Skipping trips to stay home and do nothing.

She said : what are yhu talking about.
He said: oh, i thought we were just listing impossible things!?
deyrah Sep 2022
all of a sudden you started to show up for me
just when i gave up on us
the only feeling i have towards you... is pity.
a pity that i lost you, but more pity cause you never had me
one day i stopped crying, stopped wishing
one day i remembered that i was too much for you
the only happy memory i had...
were those that you were absent from.
and One day, my heart left you, and came back to me.
love shouldn't exist for you.
deyrah Dec 2019
Paintings... Huh
If paintings could use their canvases to show pain.
I bet the only picture there would be yhurs!
deyrah Aug 2021
I will light you a candle, each time you say, you care.
And i will mourn those words.
I have sugarcoated my pain, with droplets of virtual honey.
Now your hurtful words taste like caramel on a lonely night.
I pray you feel as miserable as you thought, you've made me feel.
Loneliness, is not spelling the words right, with blurry eyes from a damp sheet, filled with leftover tears!
I am a woman, in need of love, attention and sometimes, petty things.
I'm not perfect, but i try!
I'm strong on some days...
But i cry!
And if there was a next life, I'd like to not exist!
deyrah Nov 2021
Flutters...
Wings  struggling to get higher while they fall.
The smell of rain drops after beating the soil into wetness.
The gloomy faces of humans, greed and persistency, correction and legal distortion.
The music of earth, blows harshly, taking the fallen leaves from the trees, which are dry now.
So their sounds makes a horrible melody, one that sounds like noise.
I hate this place, yet nostalgia keeps poking my curiosity.
What is?? The ex who left, and ex-ed another.
Or a place of my birth??
My utopia or my depraved dwelling.
Still, the town is still colorless, but because this is where we met.
The town looks like a warm chrome now, and i peak through our passage of time, i smile, but as i recall your death.
I cry!
deyrah Jul 2021
Like a raging tsunami that consistently hits asia.
They'll speak of it, till it fades.
Your fame, either the right or wrong way, will bring them to notice.
As long as it benefits e'm, they'll stick.
When it's for your sake, they'll make you sick.
It'll be like loving someone you hate.
They'll preach about how true friendship is.
Call you "love"
Like Romeo and Juliet...
But you know, Romeo and Juliet wasn't a love story.
And like this poem, it didn't end well.
People want to change, in fact, we do Change...
But others will never stop seeing you with the same eyes, that they saw you with in the past.
People will talk, no matter what!
deyrah Sep 2021
Contempt was 'him'
In winter on an apocalyptic evening
When the sky bled crimson.
Emptiness was 'his' cold lips over mine,
It was like a rock song to a baby.
Feelings??
What are those??
deyrah Oct 2021
I often wonder what it would be like, to not be me, but observing "me"
From my own point if view.

So in the beginning, there was me!
And i grew two more personalities, but those personalities evolved into other personalities with an alter ego.
Which created other personalities.
Decision making has been an ordeal and trying to figure out which one came first was the issue.
All of them grew into demons, no Angels, just demons.
If i ever want to send a note to myself(s)
I'd say : "shut the **** up"
deyrah May 2021
There's little left to write...
That hasn't already been written.
So I'll say this to you.
You are not worth all the love that i have to give.
It's not a brag!
It's self worth.
I didn't copy it...
It's self taught.
No longer would i bend a knee to a servant, when i can be Queen.
deyrah Jan 2022
Smells of lavender filled the room
Pheromones going berserk...
Cold sweat slowly dropping down from the neck and his tongue to follow.
He pulls closer, grabbing from the hips
With an '***' quite over-sized for the body, 'D-cups' that make the silhouette fall in place from her *****.
Lips full fledged and a face to show that the creator is biased to her gender!
The ice... Melting slowly upon gentle impact on her belly, warm stream down to her thighs, and with a moan of relief, content and the longing for more.
Time was against the finger stroke by the rib cage, and the his lips, kissing her lips.
But underneath!!
deyrah Dec 2019
I write ****** poetry each time i look at you.
I write good poetry, but after thinking about you, it becomes a word mess.
I try to use you, as my inspiration.
But vanilla doesn't mix with paint and dust so well.
Well... When you are around.
My poems ****.
Please leave!
Cause you used to be my inspiration.
Now yhu are a disturbing thought.
Poetry
deyrah Jan 2020
I constantly play pranks on death.
By surviving.
Yet it keeps laughing at me!
deyrah Feb 2020
Let's just play pretend.
...
Why don't we just say we're in love.
Let's pretend till it turns into a role play.
Till it becomes a routine.
Until we actually fall in love
...
Let's just play pretend
When yhu can't seem to fall in love!
Then play pretend
deyrah Feb 2020
I hate to see you cry.
But, you only look beautiful when you cry.
My only wish is, that i would stop being your reason to.
deyrah Mar 8
I often think of the words Ellen Everett left behind.
"If you're looking for forever
I'll take the batteries out of my clock so that we'll be stuck inside this moment, as if time really stopped!
I would tell you I love every second, except here seconds do not exist! So I'll say ' I love you ' with each breath, each smile, with each kiss! And when I die you can crank your watch, restart the clocks, begin the time and know that we were infinite in the moment that you were mine...
deyrah Jan 2022
It was beautiful...
A wonderful bliss without blemishes.
When we were together, there was no better feeling.
We were the best toxic and most cutest thing alive.
We both hurt each other...
Maybe i hurt more, or you did.
But you did it with intentions, i just lingered in your heart, waiting for you to call me forth.
We got busy fast, talked less.
Distance played it's part, i couldn't care less!
But i still see you with those same eyes i used to.
And even if it's just some silver lining or a twist of fate.
Can we just hit Reset... Like it never happened.
Cause now that You're gone, my feelings dwell, like stagnant water.
deyrah Apr 2021
A Casanova.
Toying with hearts as you please.
Too bad, you won't play with mine.
Rumors say that you're the embodiment of a lust-full soul
Who hunts after selfish means
And prey on everything "girl"
Rumors say, you're the one my parents warned me about.
I mean, my friends may be right.
But at least i should try
For myself, don't you think?
Rumors say you'll break my hearts to bits
But you know, even broken crayons
Still draw colors.
Rumors paint you three shades darker than black.
Guess what?? I have all the whites.
Rumors, rumors, rumors!!
Truth is, i love you.
And i love those dark rumors that comes with loving you.
Don't mind me, i just want.
The full package!
deyrah Mar 2020
Do you feel it too??
The love we had, that glitter
Our memories, in a wonder!
Now it just shakes and stutter.
Like rusty nails that were depraved from water.
We are together, but we fell apart a long time ago.
We are like two people, who didn't matter...
We are separate, with love that ran cold.
In love with each other, but in a different cluster!
I love yhu, but it's just not enough.
Yhu don't make any effort.
I love yhu, but Yhu're painful!
deyrah Sep 2020
I didn't cry...
Rain drops just fell into my eyes.

I didn't die.
I just slept for a long time.

I didn't love.
I just felt i shouldn't leave you alone!

I didn't forget.
I just don't want to remember.

You're the right reason
To my wrong doings!
deyrah Aug 2020
You are sad when i get sad.
Sad when I'm fine.
Also sad when I'm happy!
Cause you aren't the source of any of it.
deyrah Aug 2019
He said he'd stay with her forever.
But he left...
Her hope left her in despair.
If there was any color or thing darker than black.
Then that's where her heart would be placed.
She's in a league of her own, yet with a shattered heart, she still loves.
When a woman loves... Even the heavens shake.
deyrah Jul 2020
However...
I've been waiting on a sign!
But it seems like i need a new prayer!!
deyrah Sep 2019
Ever since yhu left...
Silence has become my home!
deyrah Apr 2020
When he was asked something honest.
He said "he had known her for a long time".
And That, she and truth aren't related.
Even down to the "you" in "i love you"
Was a lie.
When all she ever says are lies, then just walk away!
deyrah Feb 2022
This is the end of love...
Cause I've dabbled in infatuation...
I can tell what love is
This is not genuine, so let's play pretend.
Tell me you love me, and let me fake a smile
In my need to be loved, and crave attention, i want you to love me, like it's my last day on earth.
Kiss my freckled lips with warmth.
Touch those melanin thighs with contempt.
And even if i know you're not worth having me!
I give myself to you, since it's you i want.
I can't stand the gaze upon you.
But without your presence, I'll asphyxiate myself!
deyrah Aug 2020
Well...
It certainly has come to this.
But no one warned me about love!
Even if they did, would i have listened??
deyrah Sep 2019
I'd write yhu an epistle...
But yhu left without a single word.
Now I'm wordless
When the love is still strong, but yhu alone feel t.
deyrah Oct 2019
If pain was a color...
Hers would be three shades darker than black.
Cause after yhu left.
All her twilights became night, but without the moon!
Softer hearts deserve warmth.
When a person gives yhu their all... Please Cherish t.
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