To my internet lover..
You asked me to write you something and I thought, perfect time to rediscover.
You are someone I never thought I would find.
You make me feel things I only envisioned in my mind.
I wish forever would be enough to tell you how long I want you in my life.
Somehow forever doesn't seem long enough to get to be your wife.

Internet lover, how you came at just the right time.
Internet lover, how you show me love isn’t always a crime.
I swear to always be faithful to you.
I swear to always support your dreams until they come true.
Internet lover, how you have taken my heart.
Internet lover, never did I think we would be here at the start.

A wish upon a star led me to you.
A wish upon a star made a dream come true.
Forever and ever, my love you will be.
Forever and ever a team, you and me.
Internet love found me at just the right time..
Internet love you and I, like Bonnie and Clyde, our love will forever be a beautiful crime.

You had no right, and yet you broke me.
You took pieces of me, when you could have just left me be.
You had no right, but you took my trust, and broke it for fun.
I gave you the pieces of my heart, I even let you in, because to me you were my one...
You had no right, but you took my willingness to love..
You shattered an already broken heart; congrats, you won the champion glove.

She’s in the dark place.
She knows it’s not a safe space.
She’s fighting demons no one can see.
She smiles and laughs often.. sad? Couldn’t be.
Her brain is a cage and she is trapped inside.
Who would really care if she died?

She’s losing the battle in her head..
Another night spent crying in her bed.
A mother in the grave and one lost to her call.
She’s on a cliff and to the dark place she’ll fall.
Tears streak her rosy cheeks.
She hasn’t felt herself in weeks.

The dark place is familiar and cold.
A friend you’ve grown up with, & one you’ll grow old.
Lost and alone she is calling.
With each passing moment deeper she is falling.
The light has faded from her eyes.
Curled up, hiding away she cries.

The dark space offers old friends.
Razor blades & negative thoughts, it never ends.
Slide the blade against her skin?
If so, then depression will take the win again.
She will not be another statistic on a sheet.
Today death, she will cheat.

She’s fighting back against the dark place.
She’s remembered her safe space.
The words, to get the feelings out.
She’s powerful, she knows what she’s about.
She hasn’t won the war, she won on this night.
It’s been long and hard but she’s ready for a fight.

She sits in her room and remembers the empty words...
They swore they would save her, but she wants to soar with the birds.
One cut to make it stop hurting, to make it go away.
Two cuts, because she will pass out before she sees another day.
Three cuts, because two just isn't enough anymore.
Four, because this one will surely take her to Heavens door.

Hush Little Baby don't you cry..
Mommy swore she would never say goodbye..
Hush Little Baby don't say a word...
Daddy swore he would save you from the screams that went unheard.
Hush Little Baby don't you scream...
No one will be there to save you from the nightmares dream.

She wakes in a pool of her own blood, and it makes her cry.
She was hoping this time it would be it; she would finally die.
She cleans up the mess, because no one can know.
She smiles a smile with an angels glow.
They all think she is happy and fine.
Soon, she will be lost to it all, soon she will be Mine.

Hush Little Baby don't you close your eyes.
They were supposed to save you, now she says goodbyes.
Hush Little Baby don't you fall...
Death is coming and he will help you through it all.
Hush Little Baby don't you die...
Depression will take you and sing a lullaby.

It's to much, and there is nothing she can do...
She tried it all, but no one can here the screams...not even you.
She lays in bed and writes her goodbye.
She doesn't address it to anyone because no one will cry.
Once it's written she sets it down, she knows what to do..
She takes the pills and slices her wrists, she says goodbye to the ghost of you.

Hush Little Baby don't be sad.
They won't even notice, not your mom or dad.
Hush Little Baby don't fear the other side.
Your baby sister will be the one to find you had died.
Hush Little Baby don't feel bad...
You made your choice, it's to late to be sad.

Dear Mommy, can you hear me?
Dear  Mommy, am i the person you wanted me to be?
Dear Mommy, I'm sorry your life is not what you hoped for.
Dear Mommy, I'm sorry grandpa went to Heavens door.
Dear Mommy, I really do love you...
Dear Mommy, don't do it, please, is there anything i can say or do?

I know this isn't what you wanted your life to be like.
But it's like learning how to ride a bike...
Sometimes you have to fall off and scrape your knee..
Sometimes you feel the wind on your face, and finally see..
I know we aren't the best of kids and i promise we will do better...
Please mommy, don't write that goodbye letter...

Dear Mommy, i am writing this to you, though you will never see..
Dear Mommy, i still love you, even after all you have done to me.
Dear Mommy, i am sorry for the pain in your heart..
Dear Mommy, please don't leave us, we have needed you from the start.
Dear Mommy, i don't know what else to say or do..
Dear Mommy, i really do love you.

Life has been hard for you.
And it has been hard for me too.
I want you to know  i love you and i will always be here..
Please, put down the gun, you're doing this out of fear..
Taking your life away won't make things any better for you.
It will show us, if life gets hard, we can do what you do..

Dear Mommy, please, don't say goodbye..
Dear Mommy, i know what it feels like to want to die..
Dear Mommy, i can see your pain and i want to help you.
Dear Mommy, if you die, i die too.
Dear Mommy, i am begging you to see..
Dear Mommy, through all this pain, you still have me....

It's been three years and seven months since i seen your face.
I remember when i was little, and you would chase...
You were the dad i never had, and for that i am forever thankful.
When i think of you, i can't breathe and it's too much to handle.
I am sorry for the pain you went through, i wish i could have taken it from you.
I miss all the times we would spend together, and the time i could talk to you.

I was there on your last day..
And i didn't even know what to say...
I wanted to whisper i love you, and it will all be okay...
And at one point i did, but, you didn't make it to see another day..
I should have stayed by your side like you stayed by mine.
But i was selfish and i thought you would be fine.

I'm sorry daddy, for all the pain you felt before the end.
I miss you and i don't know how to make it through; to pretend.
I would give anything in this world to see you one more time...
I would give anything; commit any crime...
I never knew what i had until i lost it, and now i have to pay the price.
I would give anything to be able to go and make up for not being so nice.

I watched the monster inside slowly take over your body, i watched you die.
I held your hand as i watched you laying in agony, but you didn't cry.
I wonder, were you being strong because you know it was the end...?
....Or were you being strong, because you knew i would fall and bend...?
I would have done anything to take the monster out of you and put it in me.
But I guess that's not how it happens, see...

I grew up knowing I had the best grandpa in the whole world...
I remember when you watched me as i twirled..
All those good memories are just wiped away by the pain of your memory.
I would do anything in the world to have you back in the world with me.
There are days when i wake up and i just wanna close my eyes and fade away.
I wake up thinking, 'Why do i have to live another day..?'

I don't want this life, and you fought for it...so shouldn't i be grateful..?
But instead i am hateful.
I want to tell me it's alright, that i will be okay..
That i will soon see a better day..
But you can't and i have no idea how to accept that you're gone from me.
I would give anything to have you back, give anything to just see...

You are the one other person in this world who believed in me..
You never judged or made me feel not good enough, you saw me for me.
I am sorry for the pain you went through; you never leave my head.
I think of you, and all i wanna do cry and lay in bed...
But it's time to say goodbye...
No more pain left, and no more tears, because i know you are always nearby.

Memories are monsters, and I don't mean the kind who live under your bed.
These are the kind that hide in the shadows of your head.
They sneak up when you least expect it and choke you.
Gasping for air, but they just hold tighter, taking all the life out of you.
Good ones are monsters of the past.
Bad ones are the monsters who put you in a cast.

Good memories haunt the days of sadness, they show what you had and lost.
The bad are willing to end it, at all cost.
The good ones scream for hope.
The bad cut your wrist and tie the rope.
Memories haunt her wrists.
Memories haunt the shattered pieces of her soul, leaving a darkness kiss.

You wanna know what she does to hide the pain?
All the ways she holds herself together, so she can stay sane.
That smile you love so much, it holds back a darkness unknown to you.
She cuts her wrists to make sure you never do.
She is shattered, and on the verge of saying goodbye.
But none of you will cry.

She wanted her mom, that's all, but when she tried...
Her mom told her she would be better off if she died..
So, that's what she will do, take away the pain of her mind.
All the memories at first were pleasant and kind.
The one person she needs most is lying in a grave.
She is trying so hard not to be afraid, but she was never good at being brave.

She draws her memories in blood, because no one can see the pain she hides.
She is stuck between two divides.
What do you do when you have no one and nothing left to live for?
When death comes beckoning with an open door.
She ran into the arms of the monsters; faded memories.
They swallowed her in sad melodies.

She whispers into the night, knowing no one will hear her pleading.
She longs to make it all stop, especially the bleeding.
Bleeding, bleeding, bleeding, and more bleeding, the blood won't stop flowing.
The room is spinning and glowing.
This isn't what He would have wanted..her dad.
He would be angry, hurt, disappointed...sad...

But this isn't how it's supposed to be, she is supposed to be okay.
But what is  okay, who even knows what it feels like to WANT to live today?
She is done with this life and all those who promised to make it better.
But who to write goodbye to, no one would read her last letter..
No one would take the time to read her goodbye, so she won't write one.
Don't play dumb..don't wonder why she did it; it's done.

'Goodbye to the one who loved me truly.
Goodbye to the depression who made me do this so cruelly.
Goodbye to the mother who never wanted me alive.
Goodbye to the one who knew i would thrive.
Goodbye to the one who was always there for me.
Goodbye to the one i never got to be...'

Her final words, but who will even care.
No one will even notice her empty chair.
Just another nameless face in a crowd.
She was once so full of life and proud.
But now it's all over, and she is saying goodbye.
She was the one who you never tried to save, the one who you let cry...

"So, there is this guy," the famous last words, before indefinite heartbreak.
She knew she should't fall so hard, not just for his, but her sake.
But it was to late, she was head over heels for him, and he was falling more & more.
She was like a ship on the ocean and she was way to far from shore.
She was losing her grip on reality, and falling into this love drunk state of mind.
All the bad things were gone and all the feelings were kind.

They are so different yet one in the same.
They will be that couple where everyone knows their name.
Famous Last Words, I am in love with you.
No way to say it without fear of what the other will say or do.
But she whispered it as her walls began to crumble down before her eyes.
Now she has someone to listen and hold her as she cries.

He listens and makes her happy when no one else can.
She is his biggest fan.
He makes her laugh when all she wants to do is cry.
She has let those Famous Last Words out of her mouth and she feels like she can fly.
The pain and the heartache is almost gone, but there is still a little piece sayin, "No."
But it's to late her heart and her mind are in different places, and she wants to go.

She was once so lost and broken, then her angel came and he showed her hope.
Now when she is going though something he is there to help her cope.
There is a reason they are called Famous Last Words, they are the ones that stay..
Those words can make or break anyone's day.
She has whispered them as she held out a shattered heart for hime to love.
He has given his Famous Last Words and his heart fits with hers like a glove.

She was 11 when she first realized 'No' doesn't mean no.
It means go ahead, i want you to, go.
She laid there, silent, though her mind was screaming.
She thought maybe she was dreaming.
She was already starting to feel the claws of depression in her veins.
Now he was taking her soul away in chains.

Say no, push him away, do something, he can't do this to you.
She thought, but her mind wasn't sure of what to do.
He is hurting you, stealing your innocence, make him stop!
No, you can't, he will hurt your family if you tell a cop.
Legs spread wide as he takes the one thing she held tightly to.
She tried to close them, he would only force them wider what is she to do?

Stolen innocence is not all he took from her that night.
He took away her ability to fight.
She held it all inside, and she longed to forget..and for a while she had.
She was trying so hard to be happy and forget the sad.
She was livin, but then came the monster..and he had a different plan.
She was all alone left to deal with the beast who was not a fan.

He wasn't the only one who had come to hurt her in that way.
It wasn't the same though, because she wanted it, that's what he would say.
How could she tell him no, he was her boyfriend..
She tried to tell him no as he pried her legs apart, this was the end.
He told her he loved her, he told her, he would never hurt her, but he was.
And soon she closed her eyes and it was all just fuzz.

When he finished, he held her, told her she was his one and only.
But if this is true why does her hurt her...make her feel lonely?
You don't hurt the one you love, not intentionally, cause that's not love.
She was a play thing to hide his dark side; a mask and glove.
He never listened as she would plea, he would only whisper a rough 'I love you.'
She wasn't sure what love was anymore, he took away her innocence too.

Now she is older and all she has done is let men use her body as their own.
She just lay's back and every once in a while lets out a moan.
She still whispers 'No' but they never stop, never hear her pleading.
She is so shattered with one touch you are bleeding.
She tries to pick up the razor edged pieces of herself.
She tried to hide the memories behind a picture on a far off shelf..

All she can do is cry, when he leaves her all alone, she falls apart.
She wishes she could go back to the start.
She tries so hard to change, to stop letting her body not be her own...
Stolen innocence is love, I mean that's what they told her when they were alone.
She longs so much to feel love, real love.
The kind where your heart soars high above..

The only thing she gets any feeling from is the razor she drags deep into her skin.
She does this in order to rid her body of their sin.
She bleeds the screams of a silent mouth, she bleeds the please of a little girl.
She loses consciousness and for once she is at peace, she is back to a little girl.
She knows the way to end the pain he gave her, the burden she bares.
She will end all, now no one will give her those disproving stares..

No one knows the pain she was really in, and now they never will.
If they knew they would understand the power they had to make her ****...
She tried to tell you with the cuts on her wrist...
You just thought she was crazy; darkness kissed.
She cuts the words stolen innocence into her arms.
Maybe you will all see past his charms.

She lays in the puddle of her own stolen innocence as it takes away her choice.
She tried to tell you, she just didn't use her voice.
She begged you to ask her one question..but you never did.
She knew from that moment she would be a troubled kid.
She tried so hard to keep it together, but with every touch, and every hug.
She could feel his arms and hands, like a massive bug.

She lay bleeding the words she couldn't get out of her mouth, though she tried.
She knew no one would listen, not until she died.
So she wore a letter, she explained all she had been through..
And how the pain and the monster just grew and grew.
She never wanted to be so troubled, she never wanted to make your life hard.
But you never once asked why she was always on guard.

You should have listened to the blood flowing from her veins.
You should have seen the way **** held her in its chains.
You should have seen your baby girl change from happy to ice cold.
You should have seen the way he would touch her, or even the way he would hold..
You never wanted to see the pain, you never wanted to know.
So she took the choice into her own hands and her choice was to go..

Mommy, help me.
Daddy, look and see!
Help, anyone, he is coursing through my veins.
He has taken my soul and wrapped it in iron chains.
Mommy, he is taking over, I'm losing all i have become.
Daddy, please, it's hard not to give in; succumb.

Mommy, i know you're sick, but please don't leave me.
Daddy, i know you didn't wanna but you left and i don't know how to be..
I am trying to make you both proud, but i feel like im failing.
I am goin to give into the monster, he is prevailing.
Mommy, please don't cry..
Daddy, please don't hate me for wanting to die.

Mommy i love you, and im sorry for the pain i put you through.
Daddy, i know this wasn't what you would have wanted me to do.
I am sorry for not being strong enough to beat the monster inside my veins.
I have been broken and he is all that remains.
Mommy, i wish you could see me grow..
Daddy, i wonder do you hear me calling you when i know the wind will blow?

Mommy I tried to tell you about the pain i was hiding.
Daddy, i know this is something i shouldn't be deciding.
I know the pain it will cause mommy and i know i will regret it later.
But the pain i feel is greater..
Mommy, i am leaving soon to be with daddy in Heaven..
Daddy, the best memories ended when i was seven..

Mommy, i am lying here in my own blood, cold as ice.
Daddy, help me, i wish i would stop and think twice!
'Get up, get help, scream, get someone to hear you..' the thoughts swirl in my brain.
But i can't there is no way to open my mouth, there is so much pain.
Mommy, i tried to change my mind, but it was to late..
Daddy, is this really what is supposed to happen, fate?

Mommy, if you're reading this, i want you to know my last thought was you.
Daddy, hold my hand, I'm scared to lose you too.
Watching my own funeral i let the tears fall.
I see your face and i scream your name, but you can't hear my call.
Mommy, i love you and im sorry i had to cut my life short.
Daddy, mommy will die without my support..

Mommy i was selfish and thought of myself before you..
Daddy, do you think she will ever forgive me for what i had to do?
I will always watch over you from the stars above.
Sending you peace with the sight of a mourning dove.
Mommy, i am always in your heart..
Daddy, this is what was supposed to happen from the start...