I want to do the impossible.
You matter so much to me,
so here are apologies in advance,
I know you’re sorry.
Since you’re happier alone, I want to see you go.
If I was him, I’d never let you go.
I’m sad without you though.
This is so confusing for me. I feel envy,
and I feel pathetic, and I feel angry,
and I feel like this hurts us both.
Our relationship lays six feet in the ground,
my heart hasn’t ceased to pound,
and I still want to make a sound.
Thoughts of anger, fear, lay inside clenched fists,
fists that go numb when I remember your kiss.
I’d do everything over again if it would give you bliss.
I’d never meet you if it would give you bliss.
Your words were a lance through my chest,
feeling like cardiac arrest, and yes I can attest
that even though my eyes are filled with detest,
that I still love you. I miss your blue glance.
I miss you and I wish that I was good enough.

Mired in my mind
and running out of time
can I keep still?
Can I keep going on still?
Can I keep steeling my heart
to stand and be warm in the winter?
When terms end and we’re not friends
can you keep stealing my heart?
If you fall to another man and
I spring to a secondary plan
will we be apart?
I don’t want to shove
and I’ve basically given up
even though you’re farther than your love.
It cuts deep but still my desire must beat
but it’s musty and a bit rusty.
The divide between us must be irrational
because it keeps increasing without a rationale
and without a ration to feed your monotony.
I need to know if I can keep still
when you’re around me so parenthetically.
On the cosmetic there’s sympathy
but it feels phony and pathetic. You’re synthetic
and golden steel; gleaming with a cold beauty!
You’re athletic but you don’t carry the kinetic
energy and lack the will to work for me.
When you’re starting not to feel
and I’m losing my chill
can I keep still?

Slightly less depressing, I guess
that March arched differently,
I suppose. I met her with eyes closed,
no hoes, and overloaded with heavy snow.
She was caustic and firey,
smoke frequently enrolled in her nose;
she was never parched. She would
gather wood, but the pills peeled away
the spark and she never had the fury.

I was not in tune to see flowers bloom,
but I just escaped the want for a boom.
She made me focus on her though,
her eyes so low, her mouth so slow
with ice flows, her tongue rolled
but still my tired eyes glowed.

January started with a bang… or
at least I wanted it to. My head hurt,
like cold dirt, it was hard to push through.
Frozen feelings filled my cup so much,
and far away flings filed away felt like crushes,
crushing me to dust, slushing up my double cup.
Fear of my mother’s sadness dissuaded the blade,
yet I yearned to learn how to soar, how to get more.
Fear of my sister missing her brother curtailed
the hail that seemed like Hell over my life that failed.
Over weeks and weakness, I tried to prevail,
to look past the veil that was in front of me. Pale
in the face, I paled in comparison to a towering cloud,
crowding me. Loud, loud, loud was the chilling sound;
no odor, but my thoughts have never been colder.

The shyness of the night
Laid still by fright
How lonely you must be
To crave that tired eternity
So impervious it is
That impermanence, bliss
Dots of haggard attitude
In place of solemn gratitude
Pray you are sick
For the hound’s wet lick
Will find you, haunt you
Until that emotion blue
Is uttered from your tooth
So rough, this youth
Which seeks beauty
In the light of shame
And vicarious fame
Through the network
Of many a hollow name
Engulfed in shallow flame

Spinning thoughts turn into calculated fractions,
Reaping constantly the mind blazing;
Fiery with grief and concealed passion
the deed of unfortunate stifling its greed.
Forced by compounds of loneliness and stature,
the brain defeats itself with overcoming need,
realizing the creatures they created feast upon their nature
and pry on their last hopes and dreams.
Shortly they find themselves in a state of wreck
Crying and moaning over who they once were
And yet now all they need is someone to understand their mindset.
Except there is no cure to deal with this disease,
So they continue on their repentance filled with emptiness deceive.