Mired in my mind and running out of time can I keep still? Can I keep going on still? Can I keep steeling my heart to stand and be warm in the winter? When terms end and we’re not friends can you keep stealing my heart? If you fall to another man and I spring to a secondary plan will we be apart? I don’t want to shove and I’ve basically given up even though you’re farther than your love. It cuts deep but still my desire must beat but it’s musty and a bit rusty. The divide between us must be irrational because it keeps increasing without a rationale and without a ration to feed your monotony. I need to know if I can keep still when you’re around me so parenthetically. On the cosmetic there’s sympathy but it feels phony and pathetic. You’re synthetic and golden steel; gleaming with a cold beauty! You’re athletic but you don’t carry the kinetic energy and lack the will to work for me. When you’re starting not to feel and I’m losing my chill can I keep still?
November 9, 2019: Everything feels like it’s going so fast. I just need more time; I need to breathe.