You are the sun that shines bright.
You are the stars that glow in the night.
Show the world you’re indomitable.
Don’t go down without a fight.
The mighty will rise.

Often times people say go to the gym, “It’ll make you happy, and you’ll feel energized!”

These are some of the things I’ve experienced or thoughts I’ve manifested over my teenage years. Ahh yes great ol’ puberty! Onto adulthood, yikes!

Go to the gym and lose that extra weight that your family and so called “friends” have been passively judging you for.

Go to the gym, but don’t lift weights because you’ll get bulky, and no one will ever love you if you look like a female Hulk.

Go to the gym. Go to the gym. I hear this left and right. But I fear that I’ll embarrass myself and that everyone is watching me.

Anxiety and panic attacks hold me back. And what happens when that clinically depressed person is told time and time again to “just work out” and “get out of bed; it’ll make you feel great?” What if they just came down from a manic episode and crashed? What will people say then?

Well I know what I want to say:
This isn’t as simple as the morning blues or that feeling you have after listening to a sad song that reminds you of your past. (Not to disqualify those emotions whatsoever.)

Depression is the ruminating thoughts that no one loves you or ever will. It is feeling so empty that your appetite is nonexistent and your motivation to do what you once loved is gone.

Anxiety is holding your breath and forgetting to breathe, so you just sit there in pain until finally someone or something reminds you to release.

Release all that you’ve built up. Stop the isolation, and share what’s on your mind. It’s not easy. Trust me I know.

Two days ago I went to the gym, and yesterday I went to the gym. Can you guess what I did today? I went to the gym despite every fiber in my being telling me I couldn’t.

I had the support of my mom and sister. Find a gym buddy. Start small because all the machines and strong people can look intimidating. But they all started somewhere and now you can too.

Make a goal. Something that is not too small or too large. For me, I’m training for a 5K that’s in the beginning of May. It will be challenging yet doable.

Sometimes none of us knows what we’re doing, and that’s the beauty and challenges of life. Don’t quit after one try. Your journey is now starting its new chapter. Stay in the present moment, and keep going. I believe in you.

One life
One promise
One relapse
One mistake
One death
Two cold hands
Two empty eyes
Two lost souls
Too little, too late.

Finally, I can look at myself in the mirror
Because I now love myself
In ways I didn’t think were possible

It wasn’t easy getting here
Years of therapy
And so many tears
But I’m starting to discover
I am worthy of love

And so are you
You make me smile
And you lessen the blues
Ohh what would I do
Without you?

Remember
That together
We are unstoppable

You wrap your arms around me
Tell me how I’m beautiful.
The warmth of your body
Makes me feel whole.

But the feelings subside
And depression ignites.
I can’t escape it.
Why can’t I shake this?

I try to tell you that I’m not okay.
But I don’t want to ruin this moment.
So I remain in place.

I’ve been stripped of my happiness.
The warmth is replaced by emptiness.

I am a warrior.
Stronger than her demons.
Braver than the darkness.

I can’t stop this, but I can fight through it.
Fighting is hard and giving up may seem easier,
But darling you have so much potential.

We are fighters, you and I.
We can tackle the challenges ahead.
We can brave the storm.
The sun will shine, and we will thrive.

When the night falls, I’m left with myself.
Will I fail to reach my full potential?
Or will I figure out a way to survive?

My future is a map.
I try to plan out the trip
But there is lots unknown.
I don’t know where to go.

Tonight I will rest, and tomorrow I will rise.
Who knows what’s in store?
It’s all a surprise.

As I open my eyes,
I feel the pain spread–
faster than a wildfire.

Sometimes I let it consume me,
but tonight I will fight it.