Indigo Morrison

Indigo Morrison Nov 2017

I want you to see my October and stay a while.

1. No matter how much sleep I get , I am internally exhausted.
2. Every time some one breaks my heart I find myself.
3. The rain gives me permission to grieve.
4. I've never seen anything as put together as your face and those blue moons.
5. I am scared to let someone new touch me. I don't want another reason to miss your hands.
6. I don't think I've ever bared naked my heart. I don't know how persuasive that would be.
7. I mean I don't know what staying feels like and I don't want you to leave because I've shown you.
8. I am both beautiful and broken.
9. I don't have to put together these pieces all by myself for me to be deemed worthy.
10. Too much of the wrong thing will weaken you.
11.Too much of the right thing might make you forget that not all women are good. Not all hearts yield with no conditions.
12. I hide because the right person might find me, want to listen, and I may pour over.
13. My biggest fear is being too much. So it always ends up looking like "not enough" and I am sorry.
14. Please forgive my human.
15. Sometimes these stitches come apart and I end up forgetting to remember I'm not pain anymore, I am not turning corners searching and waiting for him.
16. I want to break and come together like ocean.
17. I'll know you when I break and come together like the ocean.
18. I want you to see my October
19. I want you to see my October and stay a while.

#poetry #spilledink #words #break #love #ocean #pain #october #human #forgive

Indigo Morrison Aug 2017

... always shattering. always letting go.

I want you to choose me
choose me every time.
I want you to love me like I love me
And see me how I want to be seen
I want to stop picking up the pieces
and putting me back together again.
I don't understand why it can't be you this time.
Or why I can't stop shattering

Why I can't just feel until it feels wrong and turn back around.
I want to stop getting ready for flight
I want to stop looking for the green light
saying "run already tiara"

I am tired
the type of tired that sleep wont help.
the type of tired that wants a nap soon after waking
the type of tired that wakes depression
the type of anxiety that gives way to exhaustion.
I want to focus on me without having to constantly hold the pieces together when the sun comes up
just to drown myself in river come night.

I want to stop being scared when I feel happy with him...
like his heart is going to leave
I want to stop being scared of love
because you gave yours to me and that's not something I'd ever want again ...
because it brought me back here
cleaning up this mess again
words running through my head again
almost lovers to let go of
almost truths that I can't hold onto.
all those whispers leaving cracks within something that I built strength into.
I am so tired of shattering.
And trying to stay strong so that no one knows that I want you to hold me.

#quote #spilledink #poetry #brokenheart #lonely #shattering

Indigo Morrison Jul 2017

Blue Ocean Floor

I am just a boat in your harbor
and I wish you hadn't made it...
not ok to think about you
not ok to love you
not ok to miss you.

its a struggle to not want
to not want to be by the ocean
to not want to move by what's warm
out of fear drowning
out of fear of fire.

i take time everyday to list 3 things I've fallen in love with
and it can never again include you
you and i will never exist in the same context
there is no blue ocean floor for us
there is no thinking too far ahead for you and i
you have left nothing but drowning here
leaving me to learn to swim alone
again .

#poetry #spilledink #love #brokenheart #blueocean

Indigo Morrison Jul 2017

Why hold on to what you have to let go of (whiskey) ...

You were my first heart
The first taste I had of wanting
The closest comparison I had to
Sunrise and yoga
Black coffee and silence
Gentle hands and my skin

We were all of this
I felt like more than just this body with you next to me
Those vibrations were real
As real as this hurt
This letting go
This blue moon
This blue mood
Your lonely heart
Creating even lonelier hearts.

I think I saw the leaving in your hello
But I held on to you looking at me instead.
I am sorry for not turning away sooner,
For not running
I am sorry for not seeing that the pieces of you wouldn't come together for me.
I will do better next time
At putting together glass meant for these hands
Meant for this heart .

#spilledink #quote #poetry #healing #lettinggo #heart

Indigo Morrison Jun 2017

Always breaking. Always Shattering

I wish you would stop looking at me like I'm perfect
So you can feel good about that wall you've built between you and I.
I am not where I want to be
I am not who I want to be
My spirit isn't glowing in tune with my heart
I have been breaking and shattering my whole life.
I have been building and falling all over this place
And no one sees it
No one is here to catch me,
But I am showing you
I am letting down these walls
Trying to show you there are mirrors
Because maybe you aren't meant to stitch yourself together...
Maybe I take your hand
And you take mine...
Maybe my heart wasn't meant to be broken my whole life
Before I knew I had the chance,
The choice,
To share it with someone.
The chance,
The choice,
To choose you.

#spilledink #walls #quote #heart #glow #chooseyou #love #hurt #shattering

Indigo Morrison Apr 2017

... don't just visit here. don't just pass through.

"i think I lost my halo
trying to make sure you were breathing
trying to attach you to the sun
i know i lost some of my energy
my vibe aint high like before
but i was trying to bring you with me
i was trying to build a silver lining
out of the breaks within your heart
but you wouldn't forget the pain
you wouldn't let go of her
and she does not love you
and holding on doesn't make it real baby
i. am. real. baby.

you saw me bending for you
and you couldn't even hold me
you shattered my heart
and you took so much light with you when you did

i was a vacation to you
something you could indulge in
something you allow yourself out of curiosity but never stay long enough to work for
but i am no Vegas
               no Miami
               no Jamaica
               no Puerto Rico
I am the ******* moon
someplace
someone
you always come back to
I am not the train baby
I am the station
and I'm not only darkness;
a place to hide
I am light
something you open for
and give back to

so next time you find
you can't take your eyes off the sun
give in because you are ready
because you are whole
and you have something to give back
to this universe
not because you are scared
and you need
                        all this gold
                        all this honey
                                                 to fill you.

#love #poetry #spilledink #words #gold #sun #heart #shattered #silverlining #light #you

Indigo Morrison Apr 2017

My first love.

" I am my first love
I have let few men love me since
I don't want to ruin this heart
I can't afford to let go
I've never been the girl that breaks
I shatter
And I can't shatter for you

You don't even see what you have here
You are the type of boy
Who overlooks the moon
And never wakes for the sun .

I am so full of wanting
So full of honey
But you are worried about keeping your hands dry
And I am scared
That I will fill you up
And have nothing to come back to

See...
You are my second love
You smiled out of nowhere
I wasn't ready for you
But you lit everything in me
I felt it in your gaze
Your stare
You were deliberate
With me
I took a chance on you.

And I have let few men love me since
Because it always comes back to this
Just me
My first love.

#love #poetry #words #you #spilledink #quotes #nationalpoetrymonth