Colzz MacDonald

Colzz MacDonald Jun 2018

Mystery surrounds the echoes of my mind
Words of forgotten prose I simply cannot find
A memory misplaced in this ever growing scenario
Of hopelessness
Sorrow and impulsively acting like a half demented child
Not able to advocate the needs and wants it expects from me
This is you in retrospect
An unfulfilled moment that spread into a lifetime
A woman so rigid she has no soul but for herself in that second
A listless pitiful attempt at loving someone like me
Whoever I might be
The one always excreted on from an enormous height
Spurned out like wasteful matter at the speed of light
From a heart so disassociated from what we once called a miracle
Yet in amongst the ruins, I’m the one who’s cynical?

#lost #love #hate #tears #heartbreak #heartache #hurt #pain

Colzz MacDonald Jun 2018

III. Pretend

When I think of the sorrow you caused
You accepting what is in your life
It’s seems easier than the truth
Even if there’s nothing else there for you
You have no care in what you do
Your treatment of me is incomprehensible
Your deceit is all you need
It gives you a sense of duty
It gives you purpose, it gives you drive
To keep your bitter heart alive
Still amongst the ashes
Of what was once a burning love
Is the desire to ignite a flame
Even when it’s difficult to say goodbye
The fire should be allowed to die
I think that God may let you hurt me
More and more if I allow
I think that he’s teaching me a lesson
That I will be unhappy, as you rejoice
Until the day comes I have no choice
But to let you go
As only I will know
When it’s time to say –
…. this is the end
For now –
I choose to live in pretend

#love #hate #deceit #lies #sorrow #lostlove

Colzz MacDonald Apr 2018

II. Duplicity

Goodnight my love
I speak to you each night
Whispering to the echoes
Of the moon, reverberating
Mindlessly around the stars
Desperate to find your heart
Though my devotion never rests there
Cast aside like a discarded tin can
Once used to consume nourishment
As my heart was to provide you sustenance
No longer required for your life journey
Yet still I dwell on past glories
Fill my head with long dead stories
To remind me of the only one
Whoever seemed to mean something to me
Even though I mean nothing to you at all
The end comes bitterly
Though welcomed at the time
To stop the miserable existence
Of feeling so worthless
As I know I've always been to you
Love is only true
Because it travels one lane down a two way street
Only idyllic memories
Cover the dire consequences
Of a partnership reaped in deceit

#lies #deceit #love #heartache #lonely

Colzz MacDonald Apr 2018

I. Verity

Laying in the dark                        ¦   longing for your touch
Our hearts and minds lost          ¦   in devotedness
Tender memories                         ¦   of us together
How I long to feel                        ¦   again your sweet caress

Close my eyes, I see                     ¦   over distant shores
Where the whitest doves            ¦   soar in perfect flight
I hear deftly call                           ¦   to my heart and soul
When you're away                      ¦   your cry in the night

Everlastingly                                ¦   I can feel you close
And I will find you                     ¦   deep within my heart
Where heaven is fond                ¦   of all we create
In virtue of it                               ¦   we're never apart

And now these arms ache         ¦   to embrace you still
In a tender kiss                            ¦   we shall lock our lips
Sitting side by side                     ¦   As we often do
Your soft hair flowing               ¦   through my fingertips

Waiting with the sun                ¦   as morning rises
In my burning heart                 ¦   I cherish you true
The warmth through the miles¦  finds us as it planned
Wherever you are                      ¦  I'll be there with you

Because forever                          ¦  I hold you only
I will be the one                          ¦  You long to be near
You can't stop your heart          ¦  beating just for me
Our eternity                                 ¦  Will make it so clear

Reality is not truth
It's how you feel reigns supreme
Close your eyes to be with me
In veritable slumber, we *dream

#love #longing #heart #together #soul

Colzz MacDonald Feb 2018

Your Narcissistic Valentine

I tried to buy a Valentines
Then I really did not
I definitely thought about it
Still positively not a lot
It is harshly overrated
A complete waste of time
It may not be complicated
Exactly like this rhyme
So not hard to buy something
As a token of my care
There really is nothing
No present out there
Paying money for a card
Is an expense too far
Romance is not truly barred
When your partner is a star
Be thankful for the pleasure
Of my company here each day
Love speaks beyond measure
When you’re romantic in the right way
I did not buy you a Valentines
I am sure your displeasure mounts
Still, I had thought about it
And you know…
…it is the thought that counts

#humour #love #valentines #narcissism

Colzz MacDonald Nov 2017

I Am Me

You may not see
The person you once knew
But rest assured
I still remember you
I might somehow seem forgetful
How that makes you feel is regretful
Locked inside are the reflections
That are in temporal displacement
Though I still remember you
In my own absent little ways
No matter what the effects of age
Objectionably says
I had a life
A career, a family
I created your memories in my wake
All I need are helpful reminders
For all sanity sake
Don't give up
Don't put the blame on yourself
Or on me; for the cards I have been dealt
I'm scared - I'm alone - in the fear I've felt
Remember, I can never be gone
If in your hearts - I live on
The disease is in control now, you see
Behind those dementia eyes
Where my remembrances hide
I am still me

#dementia #oldfolks #elderly #granny #care #love #family

Colzz MacDonald Nov 2017

Seeking Rapture

The love of a woman
Is paramount to life, as he breathes it
One must die to oneself
Before rapture takes over in copious amounts
Inside an embittered heart
Where a mind of morbid thoughts rely on
The earth revolving around its axle
As the soul seeps heaven lost to a physical realm
Forgotten are the languid moments
Of perfection not found in this land
Those only held in humankind
The act of freewill
Kills completion of mind, body and soul
Doomed to failure in a world controlled by greed
Supported by power hungry demons
Sent to diminish the goodness
We only find in our visions of Nirvana
We can only dream of such fulfillment
Until we cross over beyond a material world
Where eternal rest seems so inviting
Peace will bring equilibrium
Love will be of a higher quality
...
O sweetest death...
How I long for you

Is the true love we feel, even possible to live out in this life?

#heavenly #love #heart #forever #truelove #sentient #universe